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Alliterating Artist

@its-not-a-pen

commissions open // after the storm again i see a weasel

Comics & Story Masterpost

Like what I do? // Send me a tip! // Commission me! Recommended reading order: Bottom up

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A Qinghua graduate in the court of the warlord Cao Cao A modern-day university graduate time travels to 3rd Century China. exerts: part 1 // part 2

First day as a second century warlord A luckless, bumbling strategist struggles to get ahead in the cut-throat world of second century China (comic adaptation) Part 1 // extra resources // Part 2

Weekend at Omelas (ongoing) Qui-Gon Jinn rescues a young Darth Maul and accidentally rewrites history Full Story // the rescue // baby maul supercut // Palpatine is Nervous // Character design: Maffic Gabbro // extras: Gabbro and Qui-Gon get a drink Jar Jar Binks x Jedi Maul yes. you read that correctly (not a crackfic). Part 1 // Q&A Jar Jar Binks

Hungry Ghosts (ongoing)  A Mandalorian patrol finds an abandoned ship and makes a startling discovery.   part 1 // part 2 // part 3

What does the T in TK stand for, anyways? (Ongoing) Mandalorian is captured and his helmet is taken off. A Star Wars deconstruction told from a Stormtrooper's point of view. Story

good news citizens! while i was at the beach, i successfully indoctrinated another gullible child into using LIBBY. my best friend LIBBY. the library app on your PHONE that gives you FREE EBOOKS AND AUDIOBOOKS with the tap of a finger! are you sick of incurring late fees? giving your hard earned money to jeff bezos? Libby has it for you.

Anonymous asked:

The fact of the matter is that the last time I encountered the peeled mayo grapes, some nice older ladies had pro bono made an entire luncheon by themselves for my aunts funeral reception in Nebraska but it’s entirely things like peeled mayo grapes and food of this ilk and of course you have to thank them graciously for their generosity and time. Of course. This is her community showing up for her to remember and celebrate her. We must be gracious and thankful. But the fact of the matter. I’m not eating that. Four ambrosia salads??? Peeled grapes in a bed of mayo??? I’m scared!!!

im sorry for the terrible pain you went through. and for your aunts passing.

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that very specific detail about the grapes being PEELED should not be the straw that breaks the camel's back but it is. why is it peeled. why are you peeling? would peeling the grape somehow redeem the fact you're about to dunk it in mayo? not only is it a food crime it is also an unfathomably high-effort food crime. it haunts me.

of course. unpeeled grapes is what would make this dish unappealing.

i would like to Unsubscribe from American Midwest-Mountain West cuisine please

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Reblogged

that very specific detail about the grapes being PEELED should not be the straw that breaks the camel's back but it is. why is it peeled. why are you peeling? would peeling the grape somehow redeem the fact you're about to dunk it in mayo? not only is it a food crime it is also an unfathomably high-effort food crime. it haunts me.

of course. unpeeled grapes is what would make this dish unappealing.

that very specific detail about the grapes being PEELED should not be the straw that breaks the camel's back but it is. why is it peeled. why are you peeling? would peeling the grape somehow redeem the fact you're about to dunk it in mayo? not only is it a food crime it is also an unfathomably high-effort food crime. it haunts me.

Anonymous asked:

HOW COULD YOU HATE LAMINGTONS AND PAVLOVA !!!

I am AGHAST have you never had homemade ones? My Nan made em and then my Dad made em and now it’s my job every holiday and may I say I knock it out of the park every time

Fresh nice sponge cake dark choc homemade raspberry jam and coconut ?? And beautiful lightly crunchy on the outside nice and creamy in the inside meringue with hand whipped(!!) cream and passionfruit and kiwi on top ????

(This is meant with no real seriousness whatsoever, do whatever you want forever ❤️)

WE HAVE MOVED ON NOW CITIZEN. THOSE WERE THE THOUGHTS OF A YOUNGER MORE INNOCENT ME FROM SIX MINUTES AGO. THERE ARE BIGGER FOOD CRIMES TO BE WORRIED ABOUT. I OPENLY YEARN FOR THE DAYS WHEN SUGAR CEMENT AND DISH SPONGES COVERED IN ICING AND SHREDDED COCONUT WERE THE WORST OF MY PROBLEMS. THERE ARE LIVING PEOPLE IN THE AMERICAN MIDWEST PUTTING PEELED GRAPES IN MAYONNAISE. AND EATING IT.

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im sorry SHREDDED CARROTS IN THE JELLO???

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oh damn sorry i missed this yes it is a tragic part of Utah Cuisine. traditionally associated with the local folk religion "mormonism," this ritual dish may be prepared in casserole dishes or bundt pans, and is thought to symbolize wishes for fertility and prosperity when shared family members or faithful worshippers at the church. doesn't have peanuts on funeral potatoes if you ask me

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I take it back i dont think lamingtons are the worst foods any more…

Also, I think its very nice that u honour the potatoes by holding funerals for them.

upon interviewing a local i have discovered that a regional variant includes carrots, walnuts, and shredded coconut, and is served stirred up into a kind of “heavily polluted river” texture. the performances of the ceremony this anthropologist has witnessed tend to feature mini marshmallows alongside the shredded carrots, with the jello served whole and cut into slices. however, in all cases the jello MUST be green, unless the dish is made with canned pineapple, and then it may be orange. and thanks, the potato funeral is especially great when it has cornflakes

I feel like pandora with her box trying frantically to close the lid on the midwestern food atrocities but they keep coming.

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Anonymous asked:

Your shredded carrot thing is scary. My peak midwestern food crime I see is peeled grapes in a bed of mayonnaise

mind you i am fully from the midwest, and not to betray my home soil but i think the peeled grapes situation is worse than the carrots

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I am experiencing horrors beyond my comprehension

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Reblogged

im sorry SHREDDED CARROTS IN THE JELLO???

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oh damn sorry i missed this yes it is a tragic part of Utah Cuisine. traditionally associated with the local folk religion "mormonism," this ritual dish may be prepared in casserole dishes or bundt pans, and is thought to symbolize wishes for fertility and prosperity when shared family members or faithful worshippers at the church. doesn't have peanuts on funeral potatoes if you ask me

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I take it back i dont think lamingtons are the worst foods any more…

Also, I think its very nice that u honour the potatoes by holding funerals for them.

i was today years old when i found out that china has an alligator and it's one of the two extant gator species, alongside the american alligator. now im kinda obsessed with them. look at that little face, it looks so sly.

sniles so sneetly

tfw you're one of the most endangered crocodilians in the world with only 300 individuals left in the wild. you use to be wildly distributed across the yangtze river but have suffering centuries of habitat loss and human predation and now inbreeding is a huge concern in captive breeding programs, which have only had limited sucess. marco polo wrote about you in his travels* and it is thought that your booming mating calls inspired the myths about dragons summoning thunder.

*i fully believed he was talking about the nile crocodile oops

You're right on everything except the limited success. Limited success in Western (mostly American) zoos, yes. But in China, at the Anhui National Nature Reserve for Chinese Alligator (ANNRCA), there are tens of thousands in managed care (a 2018 facility report noted around 15,000 alligators, and this has been confirmed independently by international crocodilian conservation groups during site visits). There's also a smaller one, the Changxing Chinese Alligator Nature Reserve (CCANR), that has around 5,000. Breeding them in their native range has been wildly successful.

As for the wild population, the most conservative estimate is around 1,600 in the province after reintroductions, plus the couple hundred that exist outside of that core range. The population goes up every year!

Your hatred of pavlova compels me to share that I suffer from a Pavlova Curse. No matter how few eggs I make the damn thing from, I end up with something double the volume the recipe is supposed to yield. At the least. Sometimes there’s excess. It’s like I have skill points in Endless Pavlova, and no other food. Other desserts that require beaten egg whites don’t do this to me!

It is not, however, a common dessert here.

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🤝 the pavlova support group is now in session. speak your truth, this is a safe space. also the infinite pavlova generator is a worthy successor to the infinite chocolate.

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