fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

interesting dates on this post

accidentally got a site's ai assistant bolted down, and I do believe I was personally responsible for it, if only because I found out how to ask it for clothing suggestions in just such a way that it kept trying to find visions of hell in its stock and describing offerings of assorted red and pink scarves as like, insect-mutilated infants

like I do really think I might be at fault if they ever looked at the logs and saw what happened

idc about '&' and '/' in ao3 tags. I want a '?' for wildcard. they're in a relationship. i won't tell you what kind

From the article screenshotted:

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

absolutely could not live with myself if i did not share this with all of you:

The chewerrrrrrs

Good tv show will stay with you for a couple of days, a bad tv show will carry you through crises, death, breaking up, getting fired, divorce, depression and stay with you until the day you die

This tweet lives rent-free in my head now. Hands-down the best comment about the relationship between art and artist.

okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"

i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.

then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.

then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.

later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.

there comes a point in a musician's discography where you're like "this is a jam but you need to stop dating assholes"

people tagging this taylor swift but like. i specified "jam"

"i would kill a pedophile to protect my child" ok but would you teach your child how to say no? even to adults? even to adults you like? would you teach your child the words "penis" and "vulva" and then use them? would you let them ask questions about their body? would you answer them honestly? would you learn how to cope with your feelings when you talk about human bodies, so they don't feel ashamed? would you set a positive example for how you talk about your body? would you tell your child they don't have to hug or kiss anyone? would you tell your family the same? would you stand by them when they refuse to hug someone? even someone you know has never done anything to hurt them? would you let your child avoid food they don't like? would you let you child avoid people they don't like? would you believe them? would you sit in the discomfort of not knowing all the answers and not take it out on them? would you love your child the same if someone did hurt them? would you make them feel valued just as they are? would you let them talk to doctors or nurses in private? would you let them express their feelings? would you show interest in their life? would you let your child say no to you? would you help your child feel safe coming to you when they make a mistake? would you apologize to your child? would you believe them? would you put aside your anger to focus on what would make your child feel safe and loved? would you put your ego aside for your child? would you take your child's concerns seriously? would you listen to your child? would you believe them?

Commenting “AI Slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby

FAFO IN MINNEAPOLIS

this asshole had the entire city scared he was going to lead some kind of klan march and rampage through an immigrant neighborhood. he showed up yesterday with about 5 people and "marched" less than one city block before counter protestors super-soakered his ass in 10⁰ weather, pushed him back to his hotel, and ran him out of town. so so so proud of my city

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi