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Calisto, like the moon

@justalilfandomguy

They/He 🏳️‍⚧️| fandom sideblog | Mid twenties | 🇧🇷 | *All* TERFS can go fuck right off | Minors dni!!!!

Man, wouldn't it be awesome it there was a fic in which Eddie lived and encouraged Will in his queer shenanigans?

I've been thinking about it since vol 2 and proceeded to be possessed by the writing gods to come up with this fic. This is the first time I've ever written anything this long other than a scientific paper in my adult life, and English isn't my first language, so if it sucks that's why. I really hope this can bring someone joy, though

~☆~

A badly fried Vecna goes into hiding, and Steve, Nancy, and Robin manage to get Eddie to the hospital just in time for him to survive. It's a painful and so so boringly long process of recovery for Eddie (how the fuck is he supposed to stay still for that long?), but at least they're giving him the good stuff for his pain and the government who's paying the bills.

Dustin and Steve take turns staying every waking hour (in which they're not busy with crawls or work) by his bedside. They couldn't get the hospital and government agents to allow Wayne to stay with him because of the whole murder accusations, but for some reason, the Party could. Eddie guesses it has more to do with the NDAs than anything else, but, hey, it's not like he doesn't enjoy the company. They can be a bit overbearing sometimes, but he doesn't resent them. He's seen how broken Dustin got when they both thought he was gonna die, and knew Steve would do anything to make the boy happy, including keeping the freak company at his hospital bed. It was kinda cute.

Yet it was still real weird at first, to spend long hours alone with Steve fucking Harrington, of all people. He knew the guy was now nice, but they've had like one full conversation when he was barely coherent with fear and giving the last of his brainpower to conceal how horny he was after seeing him killing bats with his bare hands, so. Weird. Awkward. Definitely not a situation he'd picture himself in, like ever. They talked though, when Eddie wasn't high out of his mind with pain meds, and in that time, he really learned to enjoy the man's company, more than the eye candy.

Once, he overheard Steve and Dustin talking outside his room. It was more of an argument, really. They seemed to do that a lot these days. The older man was trying to get Dustin to go home, but the kid snapped at him:

"I have to stay here, so I can make sure he's fine, *Steve*"

"And how exactly are you gonna 'make sure he's fine'? There's really not much you can do besides staring at him, and I can do that just as well as you do, so just fucking go home, man. Your mom's worried and you look like shit". Judging by Steve's bitchy tone, this was an old and tired conversation between them.

"You just don't understand! I almost saw him die! In my arms!!! Excuse me for not wanting to leave his side!!" Fucking ouch.

"Do you really think that didn't fuck me up too?? I know I wasn't that close to him, but *I* was the one who left you and him alone to deal with those fucking bats. He almost died because of *me*, you went through that because of *me*. Helping you out is the least I can do!!" Was Steve...tearing up?

"Steve, I -"

"Just go, Henderson. I'll call you if anything happens".

After that, Steve took a while to go inside the room, probably collecting himself. In the meantime, Eddie's head was spinning with the realization of how much he needed to talk to the kids, and make those two really talk to each other somehow. Well, well, well, if it wasn't the consequences of his actions.

~☆~

The night before Eddie's (fucking finally!) released from the hospital - after chief Hopper pulled a whole stunt to clear his name, and he stopped feeling like something was chewing on him 24/7 - Steve and Dustin started arguing again. Not gonna lie, it was always the same shit, and even he was getting tired of it. This time, though, the kid took it in a slightly different direction:

"Fuck's sake, Steve, don't pull that guilt shit on me again. You'll keep him in your house for God knows how long, it won't kill me to sleep here for one night so you can rest"

"The kid's got a point, Harrington." Interrupted Eddie. He was being nosy, he knew, but he saw the opportunity and took it. "I know you feel guilty for what happened to me, but it's not your fault. Lower that eyebrow, it's not!! We were in a fucked up situation, in a fucked up alternate dimension. It's really not unexpected for a fucked up thing to happen, as much as that sucks. You're just putting an impossible weight on yourself by feeling 100% responsible for everyone's safety."

"Also, it's hypocritical of you to not want Eddie to do that, you do the same thing all the time," Dustin truthfully, but kinda tactlessly adds. Eddie gives him a look. "It's true! You're always throwing yourself in front of anything remotely dangerous that comes our way just like he did."

"First of all why are you suddenly ganging up on me? I knew we should be having this conversation away from Eddie. Second of all, it's different, ok?"

"How the fuck is it different, Steve??" Dustin snaps.

"It doesn't matter, it just is!" Steve sounded suspiciously teary here.

"Not to push you or anything, man, but it kinda does. Matter, I mean", added Eddie, hiding behind a strand of his hair.

Steve gives him a *look* that starts a staring match between the three of them. It doesn't last long, though. Even after all those years of King Steve, two against one seemed to be too much for the man. Either that or the puppy eyes Dustin pulled really worked.

"Fucking ok! It's different because Eddie plays your nerd dice game with you, and likes all those nerd movies about magic rings and space travelers with superpowers, and wasn't an absolute asshole to everyone that matters for most of his life. It's different because I'm not the badass geniuses Nance and Robin are, because no one depends on me like some of you do on Mrs Byers, Hopper and even Jonathan, because I'm not a great kid who was dealt a shit hand in life way too young and deserves a bright fucking future. It's different because if not me, then who?" And at this point, he wasn't even trying to hold back his tears.

"Steve, what the fuck. No. Do you know how much it keeps me up at night thinking about the what ifs of all those times you almost died? Honestly, besides actually losing Eddie, the thing that worried me the most about Eddie dying was ending up without the both of you, since you're always so dead set on getting yourself killed! We're fighting Vecna together. We've been doing so for years now. We should carry the burden together! It's not fair that you just decided that by yourself without giving a shit about what we think!"

A long and heavy silence fell upon them before Steve replied.

"I never thought about it that way? I'm - I'm sorry. I thought I was keeping you safe - that's all I'm always aiming for -, not making you stress out about losing me all the time. Just. Come here, man. I'll try not to do that anymore, though if it's a last resort to protect you I might".

After a long, very teary and snotty hug, Eddie interrupts them:

"I'm sorry, too, by the way. I don't regret for one second doing what I did to protect this dickhead, but I never meant to fuck you up that bad. I didn't even think it'd affect you that much. Especially you, Harrington. And, Henderson, I also won't do that anymore, except as a last resort"

"Of course, Munson. You're one of us now, we stick together"

Steve goes home that night.

~☆~

I have a little bit of the rest of this story planned, so let me know if you'd be interested to read it! I was planning of making next chapter Will's POV.

“You’re allowed to grieve him too you know.” Sirius whispered to James. It was so soft and it was the first thing Sirius has said in the past few days. His voice was a little hoarse.

“What?” James asked, he’s not sure what to say really.

“I lost my brother, James.” Sirius responded weakly. “But you lost the love of your life. We can grieve together.”

Steve should have known better.

He felt exhibited, exposed. Seen. He hasn't felt that way since he was nineteen. Now he was almost thirty, just in a few weeks, standing in the kitchen, preparing his toddler's meal, and everything should feel normal, definitely not like if the world took an upside down turn on him as soon as he recognized Eddie's voice coming from the TV in the living room. Alone there, forgotten. Like white noise.

They have not been in touch for more than teen years.

He almost didn't pay attention to it. Almost.

Eddie didn't sound like Eddie, that was not his scene, that was not his music, nor his usual angry lyrics. He definitely was not smooth, sad piano, not a raspy, sentimental voice.

It was strange and unfamiliar that man in the screen wielding his voice. That was not him.

Yet it took Steve three seconds to stop dead and go to the living room and stare, cooking forgotten.

Black and white, great illumination, sad expression, and Steve's life in Eddie's lips.

That Eddie, that unknown person sang what Steve told him that many years ago, hidden under a starry night, no Moon there to lit the unshed tears, or the blush in his cheeks. Eddie was singing his secrets.

Like a confession, Eddie sang about his fear of becoming unloved and forgotten, about how his father told him he would be nothing but lonely if he didn't get a wife and kids when Steve was barely eleven. Eddie sang, like it was his own experience, about him becoming his own authority, about how that lingering fear of meaning nothing, be nothing but a sad waste of space because he was definitely unlovable. Eddie sang about Steve's desire of having kids and make himself the greatest dad in the world so he could find that love when he was nothing but wrinkles and memories.

Eddie didn't sing about that love letter that he wrote to Steve, telling him that he was already loved and cherished, and that he would do anything in his hand to make Steve feel unbearably loved every day.

Eddie didn't sing about Steve shaking, reading over and over again that later, terrified of yet losing someone he loved so much because he was flying too close to the sun. Again.

Eddie didn't sing about Steve rejecting him the day before he set off Hawkins to become a famous musician. He didn't sing about Steve's trembling smile, about broken hearts that day. He didn't sing about their mouths becoming that day a graveyard of kisses. He didn't sing about the tight hug, Steve's plea in his hear "please, forget about me and be huge" and Eddie's choking reply "that's not an option, because I will always love you."

He didn't sing about those ten years of silence between them.

Instead, Eddie sang about his wish of becoming loved by the children he hadn't had yet, wondering if they will still love him when he was old or if they would let him behind. Eddie sang about a letter that changed a man and made him happy once.

What Eddie didn't put it in the lyrics, but all Steve could hear, standing there, sobbing, barely able to breath, aching and broken, was that Eddie kept his promise.

He still loved him.

This one was based on a real, actual song. French kissing you if you figure this out.

😘

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