reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

this year for halloween im going to be difficult

need them to queen out together like i need oxygen

damn google that’s rough

vampirism is a spectrum and the spectrum goes from bisexual to gay

official vampire post

I'm generally of the opinion that trying to resurrect prematurely cancelled shows is like necromancy—odds are they'll come back wrong.

Except for Galavant. Any Galavant revivial will be funnier the longer it stayed cancelled.

Tags pass peer review, etc, because they SO perfectly capture the spirit of the show.

I miss this show. I would join a necromancy cult to revive it.

this is so fucking funny I love sharks

my trusty old mouse finally died and i don't think i like this new mouse as much. :(

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

decay exists as an extant form of life

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

all this about “we’re so back” and “it’s so over” but what if it’s so back and we’re so over? like what happened to my friends richie and eddie

spin this wheel

you're now this mythical creature, congrats!

sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

What are your thoughts on musk?

i hope he dies

damn that’s wild. Maybe the solution is gay sex

shoobies

Sharzongas

Sharcolletage

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

Besides the point, but you could always try physical damage?

You’re right Gomez, bring me the flail