Attn: People With Cervixes!

When was your last Pap smear?

Because I am tired of seeing young people (think 40 year olds!) die horribly of an almost completely preventable disease, and I haven't seen the obligatory Tumblr PSA about it, so I'm making my own.

1. CERVICAL CANCER IS REALLY BAD

Cancers that have a good prognosis are usually cancers that can be caught early--like skin cancer, which is easily seen, and therefore usually treated very early. Cervical cancer does not give you symptoms until you have very advanced disease, which means unless someone is regularly testing your cervix, you will likely not be diagnosed early. More than half of people diagnosed with cervical cancer present with advanced disease. 75% of them will be dead within 5 years. For comparison, when caught in the earliest stage, there is a 90% 5 year survival rate. Treatment for those diagnosed is chemo and radiation, and believe me, those are not fun. If you do happen to be in the lucky 25% of survivors, if your cancer comes back, you have an 85% chance of dying within a year. Also! We think of cancer as something that happens to old people, but the average age of diagnosis for cervical cancer is 50.

2. WHO GETS CERVICAL CANCER?

Cervical cancer used to be the most common cause of cancer-related death in women in America, but at this point it's basically a disease of People Without Pap Smears--developing countries, immigrants, low socioeconomic status, BIPOC, rural communities, LGBTQ, etc.

3. HOW DO PAP SMEARS SAVE YOUR LIFE?

A Pap smear is a screening test for two things: HPV, and your cervical cells. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world. Literally half of the people in America have some strain of HPV on their body. Most HPV infections go away on their own (in people with healthy immune systems), but some strains are Very Bad, and some people are just Very Unlucky, and the HPV starts causing your cervical cells to turn cancerous. 91% of all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. So a Pap smear looks to see if your have HPV, and if so, is it one of the bad ones? And also, do you have any cancerous cells hanging about in your cervix? And! It takes 10-30 years for HPV to turn those cells into cancer, which means you have a really really long time to catch it before it becomes cancer and cut those pre-cancer cells out!

4. WHAT ABOUT THAT VACCINE?

The thing my dad said I shouldn't get because it might make me a slut. Yes! There is an HPV vaccine! You should get it! It protects you against the nine most common cancer-causing types of HPV. It's recommended starting at age 11, and you can get it up to age 45 now! (It used to be 26, but as of 2020, it's now extended.)You can get it from most primary care doctors, or from Planned Parenthood, CVS, Walgreens, etc. If you get the vaccine you still need Pap smears.

5. I HEARD YOU CAN ONLY GET THE VACCINE IF YOU'RE A VIRGIN

Fake news. While the vaccine does not treat old infections of HPV, it does prevent new ones, so while the benefits are theoretically decreased in those who have already been sexually active, it does not mean you will not benefit from having it!

6. WHO GETS PAP SMEARS?

Everyone with a cervix starting at age 21, until you lose your cervix or until you're 65. You should get them every 3-5 years (depending on your exact age and what test your doctor does).

7. BUT I GOT THE VACCINE

Nice! You still need Pap smears.

8. I HAD ONE AND IT WAS HORRIBLE/I'M SCARED OF THE EXAM

Talk to your doctor about this in advance! Good gynecologists (and other providers) will work with you to minimize discomfort as much as possible. They can use a small speculum and lots of gel, prescribe anti-anxiety medications to take in advance, and some people will even use numbing creams and/or laughing gas.

9. BUT I DON'T HAVE/CAN'T SEE A GYN

Most primary care physicians can do them! So do a lot of urgent care centers!

10. BUT I'M A LESBIAN

HPV can be transmitted through oral/genital contact, hand/genital, and even hand-to-hand-then-genital, so you still need Pap smears.

11. BUT I'M A VIRGIN/ASEXUAL

You still need Pap smears. HPV can be transmitted not just through penetrative sex, but also through oral/genital, hand/genital, and hand-to-hand-then-genital, and also 9% of cervical cancers are not caused by HPV.

12. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER MAN

If your cervix was removed, then congrats! You do not need Pap smears. Otherwise, unfortunately, you are still at risk for cervical cancer and need to be screened.

13. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER WOMAN

Neovaginas do not need Pap smears! Congrats! Consider getting the vaccine, though, to prevent spreading HPV to others.

14. BUT I'M A CIS-GENDERED MAN

Congrats! You do not need Pap smears! You should still consider the vaccine though, not only to prevent the spread of HPV to others, but also because HPV causes 50% of all penile cancers as well.

In summary: please please please go get your pap smear. Go get vaccinated. The spread of HPV can be prevented, and cervical cancer can be caught and treated before it even becomes cancer.

DON'T FEAR THE SMEAR

it's cervical cancer awareness month y'all

Also, pap smears need to start at age 21 OR when you start being sexually active, whichever comes first.

Please get regular paps. I had cervical cancer, and had multiple surgeries and led to a hysterectomy. I am alive because I got regular paps, and monitored this over a decade until, alas, I needed surgery. If I was just la de dah not getting regular screenings? I dont want to think about what could have happened. I had HPV (I am older than the vaccine was available, and it was not made available to my age group until it was too late for me). Get Gardasil, get regular paps. Save your life. 

hey uk people who remember her: cervical cancer is what jade goody died of. very publicly. get your cervix prodded.

[ID: a medical diagram indicating a cervix, the small canal at the bottom of the uterus which connects to the vagina.]

[Image descriptions in order: two tweets by @roastmalone_ "stoned cold fox" which say "I volunteered at my local toy drive today here's what I learned:

- if you donate a bike they'd love you to donate a helmet with it

- your heart is in the right place but they don't need puzzles, they're picked last

-people rarely donate for 0-2 and 13-17]

["-hair straighteners, curling irons, and makeup are VERY popular

-sensory toys are incredible for kids with autism think kinetic sand and slime

-consider donating batteries if you're donating a battery operated toy

-stocking stuffers are really appreciated

-lego is loved by all".]

[Screenshots of reply tweets, which say:

@Sasa_dangon "✨Stephie✨~🛋️🧡🖤...": I work in toy safety so I just wanna add one more point:

-Please donate toys from trusted vendors/ stores, not counterfeits or drop ship sources. They often haven't been safety tested to the same standards (if at all) & can contain choking hazards or be made with toxic materials]

[@lilybrabbitt "Lily": Something to add based on my own experience at toy drives— please donate dolls of color! So many kids want them and it was so heartbreaking to have to give a little black girl a doll with blond hair and blue eyes when the only thing on her list was a black baby doll.]

[@The_Studio_Kat "The Studio Kat": Just a note - you cannot donate used helmets, as I've learned, as they are a safety device that could haven compromised (cracked, incomplete padding, etc.). So, please donate new ones in their original packaging.]

[@zomtheforestcat "Illya Kuryakin": Do you have suggestions for the 13-17? We always struggle with that group. Usually we end up getting reasonably nice headphones to donate.]

[@WomanInCanna "Shan.": -Stanley cups/hydroflasks

-Instant film cameras

-ELF make up

-claw clips to put hair up

-large fuzzy blankets

-acne patches in cute shapes like stars

-portable chargers

-skin care or make up skincare sets

@doughshiyo "どうしよう": A local person who runs a toy drive around here always says LED light strings & stuff to decorate bedrooms, makeup, sneakers, wireless headphones, personal care products, hair straighteners, fun blankets, etc.]

[@TaintedSaint "Tainted.Saint": Headphones and speakers.

Cologne and perfume - especially by popular artists

Makeup

Boxed fashion jewelry sets

Cool lights - string, stationery, neon, moon lamps, etc.

Decent shaver for men

Laser tag games

@ThomasE39212821 "ThomasEvan": Decent quality art supplies. I bought for a couple of angel tree boys a while back. Artsy brothers spending XMas in the DV shelter. That stuff (colored pencils, sketch pads, oil pastels, markers, books on cartooning and figure drawing) added up FAST.]

If you have the means to donate gifts to toy drives or shelters, please keep the above tips in mind so you can help meet people’s wants and needs! 💓

It's been a really, really long day of having my parents here.

I bought myself some bird husbands to make up for it a little. The one of the left is very much a city bird, but he's bought a country home to retire to since his husband will like it more.

Still trying to stay sane. Birbs now drawn as old men.

she

#oh SO true#discworld#you've nailed it op that's it exactly#she is a prophet of retribution set aglow from within by the fury of her righteousness#and he's in the dictionary next to the word 'scrungly'

this captures their kermit and miss piggy energy better than anything else i've ever seen

Necromancer that doesn’t know they’re a necromancer and thinks they’re just a really good emt

That is the funniest thing i have ever read

the thing was, she wasn’t going to be able to pass the recertification exam, and she couldn’t figure out why. annabelle studied. she practiced. she pulled out every trick and shortcut she’d learned during her two years as an EMT and none of it worked. she just – she didn’t get it. it made no sense.

“wake up,” she urged the dummy, pressing her hands to the pulse points on its wrists. “come on. what the fuck.”

“yeah, i don’t think that asking nicely is going to do the trick,” hank said, his eyebrows raised. his helmet, the special one they’d decorated for him with craft supplies from michael’s when he’d gotten promoted to firestation chief, sat askew on his head. “i can see now why they didn’t pass you.”

annabelle rolled her eyes. “it’s a psychological thing,” she said. “it’s like, you give the brain an instruction and it follows naturally. and the pulse-point thing always works. i don’t know why it’s not, like, in any of the books, but i swear to god it’s worked for me every time.”

it was true that annabelle had the best record on low body counts, which was good because she was the smallest person on the team not counting Georgie, who was a corgi. jake and lillian were always making fun of her for having been the shortest of their whole rookie class. but it hadn’t ever been a problem before; annabelle rarely had to carry anybody out, because she was good enough at getting them on their feet.

but none of that would matter if she couldn’t pass her stupid recertification exam, because they’d take her badge and she’d have to go be, like, a doctor or something.

hank blew out a long breath and sunk down to where she was kneeling on the station floor in full fire gear, giving CPR to the practice dummy, whom they called dierdre. there was a little light that went on when you’d saved its life. it had been a dull gray for an hour now.

“look, AB. i know you’re a good firefighter, and i know you know how to deliver CPR. just do it like you do it during an emergency. you’re overthinking it.”

“but this is what i do during an emergency!” annabelle cried, throwing her hands up. “i put my hands on their pulse points and i use psychological mumbo-jumbo and they just get up and walk!” 

hank blinked. “…really,” he said, voice flat. “people who’ve been inhaling smoke for half an hour just … get up and walk.”

“the brain is an incredibly powerful organ,” said annabelle, shrugging. “look man, i don’t know, okay? but it works. i haven’t had to actually do CPR in like a year and a half.”

he gave her a long, quiet look and said, “well….huh,” before pushing himself back up onto his feet and frowning off into the distance. “keep practicing,” he said after a minute, and left her there.

-

hank switched her team.

“what the fuck, man,” she said, sliding into the truck next to him as the sirens went on. “i can’t get CPR on one fucking dummy and suddenly you don’t trust me to do my job without supervision?”

carl and bethany very carefully did not meet her eyes in the rearview from the backseat. bethany pulled a magazine from beneath the seat and said loudly, “look, carl, jennifer aniston and brad pitt are getting back together.”

“thank christ,” said carl. “i’ve been really worried about jen.”

hank gave annabelle the flat look that had gotten him promoted to firestation chief in the first place, the one that said i’m your dad and you don’t want to disappoint me. as always, annabelle wilted underneath it, sliding down in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. it was a difficult feat in full gear but she wanted him to know she was feeling sullen.

“i trust you completely,” hank told her, his voice a light scold. “i want to see you in action so i can help you figure out what’s going wrong with the dummies. sometimes it’s hard for the brain to accurately remember everything that happens during a crisis.”

annabelle rolled her eyes. “i told you,” she said. “it’s just – it’s the same thing every time, I’m not like, blacking out.”

“great, then i’m about to learn a cool new trick,” hank said serenely, and pulled the truck out of the lot. annabelle kept her gaze focused out of the window, watching the city pass as carl and bethany talked loudly about which celebrities were dating which other celebrities and who wore what better. she tried to swallow down the nerves that tightened her throat. maybe the dummy was right. maybe she was doing something else and didn’t remember it. maybe the last two years had been a fluke and she had no business being a firefighter. maybe she was about to get fired.

there wasn’t a fire, though the alarm was going off. instead they found a bag of smoking popcorn and the collapsed heap of a forty-five year old bachelor type, down to just his boxers and a pair of slippers with llamas on them. he had no pulse. 

hank held carl and bethany back, directing them to deal with the smoke from the popcorn; annabelle he pointed toward the resident with a jerk of his chin. 

she sighed, kneeling by his side. she pressed her hands flat to his heart and then dragged them across his chest and down each arm, to his wrists. with her thumbs on his pulse point, she hissed, “let’s go, man. up and at ’em. you’re not meant to die in your underwear while cooking popcorn, come on.”

she held her breath for a few moments, conscious of hank’s eyes on her, and let out a long sigh of relief when she felt his pulse jump beneath her, watched his eyes flicker. “what the fuck?” he asked, voice a croak. “what happened?”

“you gotta eat more vegetables, bud,” annabelle told him, and looped his arm over her shoulders to help him get to his feet. she was so relieved she could have wept, but instead met hank’s eyes with a challenging glare. see? she thought. i told you. “let’s get you to the ambulance.”

-

“the bad news is that you have a lot of practicing to do if you want to pass your recert,” hank said without preamble, showing up at her apartment. she didn’t think she’d ever seen him in jeans before. it was weird. “the good news is i understand your problem now.”

annabelle stepped aside, beckoning him in. “what problem?” she demanded. “it worked! you saw it work. that’s the opposite of a problem.”

hank shrugged. he handed her a trifold that he’d clearly printed off at home. it said so you think you’re a necromancer. annabelle blinked down at it, and then up at hank, and then down at the trifold again. “i … don’t understand what’s happening here,” she told him honestly. 

“i’m not in the community and they’re kind of cagey, so i can’t really tell you a lot,” hank told her, stilted and visibly uncomfortable. “but i have a cousin who is, and um, i just want you to know that this doesn’t change anything. you’re still who you’ve always been and you have my complete support. we’ll figure out how to get around the recert. maybe i’ll – i can put you on admin duty to give you time to study. we’ll say it’s because of an injury.”

“hank,” annabelle said, with some urgency. “hank, this flier says the word necromancer.”

“yes,” agreed hank, looking relieved. “oh, good, you’ve heard of it already. i thought i was going to have to have the whole your body is changing talk.”

annabelle shook her head. “no, i – hank. you know that … um, you know that necromancy isn’t real, right? people can’t bring other people back from the dead. that’s crazy.”

“annabelle, not four hours ago you instructed a dead man to stand up and he did.”

“okay, he wasn’t dead, obviously. he was almost dead, at best.”

“no. he was dead.”

“i felt his pulse! it was very faint!”

“you called his pulse. no one else would have felt it, because it wasn’t there except in response to you.”

“hank, what the fuck.”

he shrugged. “read the flier,” he instructed. “and bring dierdre home with you. you’re going to have to practice a lot if you want to get recertified, considering you haven’t one time had to use any of the skills you learned the first go around.”

he bussed her temple as he went by, letting himself out of her apartment with a friendly wave. annabelle looked down at the flier in her hand with a frown. when she unfolded it, the first page said, everyone’s necromancy journey is different, but most people discover their gift by accident. have you ever brought a pet back to life? touched an elderly relatives hand and seen some of the color flood back into their face? or perhaps, more subtly, been able to keep cut flowers alive long past their purchase date?

annabelle looked at her kitchen table. she’d had the same vase of tulips on it since she moved in, three years ago. it was true they periodically started to wilt, but she usually just changed their water and they were fine, popping back up one after the other as she slid them into the fresh vase. 

“well shit,” annabelle said, letting the flier fall from her hands.

Tumblerians tumblrites and tumblers, all and alike make writing and art prompts out of things that weren’t meant to be and that is a beauty beyond compare. Thank you members of tumblr for the amazing stories and art and for sharing it with the small world that is this website.

Historical accuracy in costuming can be cool, especially when accurate depictions of that era/culture are sparse, but I think what a lot of pedants trashing whatever the current year’s Regency/period drama is over the costuming not being “accurate” are missing is that, not only is pure historical accuracy not the point to most viewers and filmmakers, but the anachronisms are actually part of the draw of that genre, and historical accuracy would actively impede the core fantasy for most of its fans.

No matter how much people complain about this or that detail of Stranger Things, they don’t actually want it to be a faithful depiction of the 80’s or 80’s media; they don’t want the pacing or the weird casual racism of 80’s movies, or the other less nostalgic aspects of the culture; they want a fictionalized fantasy of the 80’s that’s all roller rinks and arcades with synthesizers and neon glow, full of nods and allusions to the era without being tied down to 100% historical accuracy. Stranger Things would be less compelling to a modern audience if the synth music sounded like Wendy Carlos, or if it was paced like John Carpenter’s Halloween.

Snow White’s design being more reflective of 50’s styles than historical medieval styles, and other Disney Princesses being similarly anachronistic, is a feature that adds to their appeal, not a bug.

The trappings of the era are not there to be a precise documentary of how things actually were; they are set dressing meant to invoke the feeling of a specific romantic fantasy. The heroes are always anachronistically progressive and inclusive, the makeup is always smoother and glossier or more naturalistic or whatever the current trend is, the hair always bigger or more perfectly coifed, the language always includes words that weren’t coined in that era, etc. etc.

Historical granularity can be a “nice to have” and yes, something as glaring as a Starbucks cup in a Medieval setting can be immersion breaking, but the historical impressionism of an 80s character playing the arcade version of a game on home console or a castle being unpainted aged stone or swords and armor and corsetry being in styles that look more pleasing to a modern audience even though they didn’t exist in that exact decade or century are a matter of stylization. Even when it isn’t an intentional choice, that stylization is part of the appeal, bridging the gap between modern audiences and the subject of the historical fantasy.

The anachronism is not a bug. It is a feature.

huh. so i just found out "Torment Nexus" was invented for that one specific meme. i genuinely thought it was from an Orson Scott Welles novel. my ignorance is an unending source of surprise and delight

um. Orson Wells. H.G. Scott Welles. H. George Orson Orwell. Philip Bradbury. stop making me keep track of white men names

in my defense all of these are separate individuals famous within classic sci-fi circles:

at some point this is not my burden

the names of classic sci-fi authors appear to have amalgamated into a nexus of some kind. one that is tormenting you, perhaps.

ah yes. this.

Fire-based wizard spells:

I didn't think it was possible to shorten words verbally without removing syllables but sailors managed.

boatswain -> bosun main sail -> mains'l tree nail -> trunnel etc. etc. etc.

May I add a few more?

coxswain - coxsun

crossjack - crojik

forecastle - fo'c'sle - folksil

gunwale - gunnel

mast- mist

sail- sill

schooner - skunner

tackle - taykull

topgallant mast - t'garns'l mist

topgallant sail - t'garns'l sill

based on the research i've done (and lived experience) of nautical linguistics- the syllables are the most important part of the word! for every command- historically and on modern tall ships, the command must be repeated by the crew exactly is it was heard: no conjugation, no changing of word order, nothing (referred to as a "call-back"). so it makes sense that these words are shortened in this manner.

boats are big, the ocean is loud, and there's a lot of stuff that gets in the way of words traveling coherently across the deck. it's also so rare to get a command when you aren't already entrenched in something else, and so may not be able to turn your head before acknowledging that you've heard. i've linked an NPR article from 2015 about how words travel in different environments, but basically the big takeaway for this scenario is: consonants get lost easily in windy or obstructed environments. there's been many a time (even in fair weather) where i'm having a conversation, on the opposite side of the boat, or even down below when an order is given, where i just hear the cadence of a command i'm familiar with and know immediately what i'm supposed to be doing.

on particularly well-practiced crews, i notice that even the tonal pattern of the officer giving the command is repeated. even without the tonal match, it's critical for the officer to have immediate feedback AND immediate response. when you get an order, you lay into it with urgency; therefore, if you repeat just as you head to your station, redirection can be given swiftly if an incorrect order has been transmitted, BUT if you heard it right the first time there's no delay in the task.

quick example (callback italicized):

"haul away!" "haul away" clear! exactly the same! i know they heard and the sail is doing the thing!

"haul away" "hauling" sounds an awful lot like holding.. is something wrong? did we forget something? was someone not ready? oh the sail is going up they said HAULing

also explains @ltwilliammowett 's example of "topgallant sail - t'garns'l sill" ... in "gallant" and "garns'l," less than half the consonant sounds are the same but the SYLLABLES match. its just the representation of what the garbled mess that comes across the deck usually sounds like for that Specific Thing!!!

Merging these versions because they're both really interesting!

Sometimes we’re unsatisfied with a thing we made because when it only existed in our head, we saw all the things it could have been and when it’s done we know all the things that it isn’t, but we can’t see the way it expands into a million new things when someone else unpacks it in their head.

Sometimes I wonder how many of the 90 thousand people who have interacted with this post have been like “I think I’ll go to OP’s blog and see what other lovely nuggets of wisdom they have” and then get hit with a wall of nothing but homoerotic drawings of the men from the Yakuza franchise.

Pssst

Hey, are you an artist or writer with WIPs?

Come here... I got a secret for you pssst come ‘ere

waiting in deep suspense

Psst you ready here comes the secret

Here it comes

I am also very curious about this secret

Your time spent enjoying the creative process is infinitely more valuable that any final project you create. So stop putting yourself down for never finishing or posting those WIPs because every moment you spent creating something you loved is a moment not wasted. Your progress and talent is measured by your passion not your number of posts.

This post went from 3k to 7k overnight and that just goes to show how many of you need to hear this so make sure you don’t ever forget it

I love when an artist does something as a joke but then obviously thinks about it until they trick themselves into being into it. like haha I drew them in the green alien au where they're both green aliens who say gleepblorp [three days later] I drew another green alien picture

a TSA officer will visually inspect your lobster

Do you think this one would pass visual inspection?

My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed