Book Birthday!

My debut romance comes out today! It's on Kindle Unlimited and available in both paperback and ebook editions.

Buy my book! Please?

And look! My friend sent me flowers that match my book perfectly!

For more @importantcatpics

do you think ma and pa kent had to pretend to be antivaxxers so that they wouldn't have to explain why their son of steel keeps breaking the syringes. do you think they still flee in shame every time they run into smallville's only pediatrician at church or the farmers market so they dont have to explain why their boy still hasnt had a tetanus shot even though he regularly works around farm equipment. do you think the town vet wonders why the kents give their various farm animals shots when necessary but not their only son. do you think it keeps them up at night.

dc comics heritage post

The pediatrician is in on it. He's known the Kents his whole life. They're wary and scared the first time he sees them, but then Martha pulls out a sewing needle, says, "Watch this." And pushes it against Clark's bicep. It snaps in half. Clark giggles.

"That's new."

"We're trusting you here, Mickey," says John. He's one of the few people who still calls him Mickey. He's Dr. Michael to the kids. Michael to their parents. But he and John used to chase fireflies and hunt lizards together. The first time John asked Martha on a date, he invited Mickey along, too. Mickey didn't get an invite the next week.

"It could be a serious condition," Mickey says. "There are rare conditions--"

"We found him in our east field in a spaceship," Martha says, cutting to the heart like she always has. She's still the kindest person Mickey's ever known. And if she's cutting to the heart of it, it's desperately serious or anger-inducing. "It's buried next to the barn."

"I'll show it to you," John adds, "But I swear to you, Mickey, I swear on my marriage, on my farm, I swear we're sure he's just fine."

Mickey thinks it over. He takes out an empty syringe. "All over is it?"

"Yes," Martha says.

Mickey finds the softest part of Clark's leg. He presses the needle against it. It snaps off. Clark giggles again. "Anything else I should know?"

"He can lift the tractor," John says. "Like it's nothing."

Mickey nods slowly. "Okay," he says. He taps the empty syringe against his hand. "Okay. I'm going to order the usual vaccines he should have. Can you make him screech a little? I can tell the nurse I think it's better if I do the shots myself since he's nervous."

John nods. Martha says, "Bless you to pieces."

John leans over and whispers to Clark, "Clark, can you show Dr. Michael the sound a hawk makes?"

Clark screeches. Perfectly ear-shattering and sounding exactly like any number of scared toddlers that come into the practice on the regular.

Mickey punctures all the vaccines with syringes. Draws the medicine in, then pushes the plunger so the syringe empties into the sink.

"I hate to waste medicine," Martha says. "I'm sure there's a baby in town who needs it."

"Your baby needs it," Mickey replies, tossing all the syringes and vaccine bottles into the Sharps container. "I want to test him every time. If his skin gets permeable at some point, I want him as vaccinated as his records look."

"How will you cover that?" John asks.

"Let me worry about that," Mickey says. "We may never have to figure it out."

Years and years later, Mickey watches Superman fly across the Metropolis sky on the news, then watches Clark Kent land outside his parents' house for dinner. They never did have to figure it out.

*in a rap battle* i wonder who your mother could have been if she never had you

I never thought I would live to see a "your mom" joke that doesn't degrade their mom.

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

Actually genuinenly enjoying my customer service job sometimes

Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”

Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*

Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”

Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*

Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”

Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*

Customer: “Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”

me: “I love and forgive him.”

Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”

Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*

I still love this lol

It’s ruining my notes dude :’D

Here it is, your moment of Zen.

From mnicewatch on Instagram

Last year they stopped doing the reenactment of the Boston Tea Party on the harbor. This year people showed up anyway.

They weren't throwing tea into the water.

They were throwing ice.

@massachusetts-official

mammals whenever they encounter any sort of problem: hold on let me secrete a useful fluid

i do have to say that no matter how shitty any sort of media is or how shitty your own creations are. always remember

self-awareness check, list five things you like that aren't media pieces in the tags now ‼️

God I love the thrift store