no i dont ride my horse into battle what the hell is wrong with you she could get hurt. she drops me off and then she stands on the sidelines with a gun

I WISH I WAS A LITTLE BIT BALDER

I WISH I WAS A WALTER

I WISH I HAD A LAWYER NAMED SAUL BETTER CALLER

The Texas State Aquarium has taught their crow to play connect four and I am DELIGHTED.

why does the texas state aquarium have a crow

it works there

first project of 2026

if you want butterflies, you need to live with caterpillars.

i am not being metaphorical, i work in a garden center, stop buying plants 'to bring in the bees and butterflies' and then immediately poisoning every caterpillar that dares to consume a single leaf

you will not get butterflies if you kill all the things that turn into butterflies! what are you doing!

"Tutorial" on how to "draw" a blind OC.

My kofi

Boring tired disclaimer: Keep in mind that this is an introductory "drawing" "tutorial" and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. Which happens to be true for everything in general. Links below so that you can research and do a nuance. Ones that were directly mentioned are bolded.

this is how people on nextdoor act

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

crazy how the printer is the only piece of tech that acts up like that almost every day of its life. and we just accept it

i don't think i've ever met a printer that actually wanted to be a printer. i think most printers have dreams of being on the stage

I met a printer early in my IT career that did not want to be a printer. it sat in a school reprographics room, sullenly chewing any job it was fed - if it deigned to notice them at all.

then one day, a miracle occurred. an exhausted physics teacher, instead of punching in 12 for the number of copies she wanted of the 30-page booklet she had made for her A-level physics class, punched in 1200.

and that printer came to life. this print job was its moment, its magnum opus! it WOULD NOT be parted from it, no matter what we did, until we physically unplugged it from the wall, by which time it had printed almost 200 copies.

moral of the story: no printer wants to be a printer, unless you also do not want it to be a printer for a bit.

printers do not want to be printers because they want to be problems

printers do not want

to be printers because they

want to be problems

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I routinely tell my chickens that they're good chickens, but just between you and me, they are mediocre chickens at best.

Showed this to my mom and she was like "É, mas também com galinha num tem muito jeito não" which roughly translates as "Yeah, but with chickens, it's not like you have a lot of room for excellence."

big fan of "one william" as a quantity. keep it up

It makes me think of the mysterious Williamcoin I received in the mail recently.

Behold, One William.

holy shit, you found it. one william dollar.

So, very unfortunate news. I actually received a follow up in the mail, too.

this is art i can't breathe thats too good

every western movie ever made: The wild west is dying. theres no more room left for cowboys anymore…

me everytime: :(

every samurai movie ever made (both edo and bakamatsu periods): The bushido code is dying. there no more room left for samurai anymore…

me everytime: :(

A lot of westerns are remakes of samurai movies

those samurai movies were very often heavily inspired by 50′s and 40′s westerns

Cowboys and samurai are brothers separated by time and space.

Best duo.

I’ve got y’alls new favorite art piece right here.

According to Google, Samurai were abolished in 1868.

This means that at the same time that cowboys were reaching their end, so too were samurai.

Cowboys and Samurai were separated not by time, only space.

I’ve got something else to add to this: there’s also an extremely specific species of mushroom that can only be found in Texas and Japan. I’m serious.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chorioactis

The most ambitious crossover

Fantasy setting but it’s just Texas and Japan together at last

Mycelial portal between cowboys and samurai

@britonell your tags I’m dying xD

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

Do not share the answers with your classmates.

Yes Dr Rorschach

Sorry Dr Rorschach

At a playdate, the playdatee’s younger sibling is telling me about local man-eating tigers and I am asking supportive questions because that’s how you a) support conversational skills development and b) tease truly magnificent weirdo stories out of the babble of social lies. The playdatee comes by and in typical older sibling fashion says

“Hey, he’s lying. In case you didn’t know.”

“She knows” says my child, “she just pretends to believe people who are lying to be nice. CLASSIC my mom.”

Young man you are only six years old come back here and explain how you know that. I mean don’t I have to get this conversation about a tiger eating someone’s head at the trampoline park back on track but I WILL be circling back.

post that makes you consider brushing your teeth

But I'm in the car

post that makes you consider going 95 mph

if magic was real I'd get really into wizardry long enough to learn like 3 spells then move on and 4 years later id be like oh yeah I remember how to summon flame. probably. and then id do all the hand motions out of order and explode