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‘I’ll come to bed soon.’
I guess Vi should’ve left her jacket at Caitlyn’s house after ‘turning bluebelly’
Reblogged missbluebird
Reblogged
You know, there’s a reason we see Vi longing for Caitlyn in her pitfighter era, but not for Jinx (when we do see Jinx in the pitfighter Vi montage, it's not because Vi is seeing her in her mind like she sees Caitlyn, but because Jinx is actually there, and Vi is never looking at where Jinx is). Vi loves both of them, but at the same time, Vi has resentment against both of them, as both have wronged her. But the thing is: while both of them have hurt Vi, Caitlyn is the only one who has shown care and affection towards Vi after Vi left prison.
Vi spent several years in prison, punishing herself and living for a single purpose: reuniting with her sister and repenting for what she did to her sister. And in these seven years, she experienced very little compassion towards herself: not only Stillwater is brutal and violent and she suffered that violence at the hands of others (other inmates and guards), but she was also not compassionate towards herself: she wallowed in her own guilt (for the deaths of her family in her failed plan to rescue Vander, for hitting Powder, for calling her a jinx and “leaving” her) and she didn’t really care about herself, only about how to reunite with her sister.
But the thing is: while Vi probably thought she deserved all this punishment, and that if Powder hated her, she probably deserved that as well, deep down, she was also hoping for absolution. Yes, she felt guilty for what she did, but she probably was also hoping to be forgiven by her sister, that her sister would finally be the one to offer that love and compassion that she craved for seven years. But what happens is worse than Vi could have possibly imagined: not only her sister doesn’t forgive her, not only does her sister hate her, not only does her sister not offer any compassion towards her, but her sister is also incredibly cruel towards her. Her sister threatens her, shoots her, kidnaps her, psychologically tortures her and hurts someone she loves. While a part of her definitely thought she deserved all that for her past mistakes, another part of her probably felt utterly betrayed by the way her sister treated her.
And that’s where Caitlyn enters. Yes, ultimately, Caitlyn ends up hurting her as well. But Caitlyn was also the first person, since she left prison, to show genuine compassion, care and affection towards her. Caitlyn frees her, saves her life, risks her own life to save Vi, tries to help Vi with the council, and Caitlyn is also the one who gives her the forgiveness/absolution that she craves. Caitlyn is the one person to tell Vi that what happened to her sister was not her fault and to comfort her. From Caitlyn, Vi gets the absolution, the assuagement of her guilt that Jinx didn’t give her. She gets the compassion and affection that she didn’t receive for seven years, and that her sister also refused to give her when Vi left prison.
Vi’s pitfighter arc is a moment of self destruction, but it’s also an important part of Vi’s character development and healing, because for the first time, Vi is thinking about herself and her own needs first (in a very twisted and unhealthy way, but she is). She is no longer keeping strong for the sake of others, like how she kept strong in prison for the sake of reuniting with her sister, or how she kept strong after the tea party for the sake of Caitlyn and for the sake of the Undercity. She’s not trying to find and save her sister, she’s not trying to protect or save Caitlyn, and she’s not trying to fight and save the Undercity from the invasion like she did before. She’s finally allowing herself to crash out and focus on her own pain. And that’s why we see her having visions of Caitlyn, not Jinx. Because this time, she’s not thinking about her duty as a big sister, or her responsibility to fix things: she’s thinking about what SHE wants. And what she wants is compassion, love and affection towards herself. She wants someone who cares about HER. And this person is Caitlyn. That’s why Vi can’t help but crave the Caitlyn that held her, protected her and comforted her. That’s why Vi keeps seeing Caitlyn, and not Jinx. And that's also why Vi sees Caitlyn in her previous enforcer uniform with her hair down, (instead of the Caitlyn from the Strike Team), because it was that Caitlyn that comforted Vi.
Vi’s arc about finally putting herself first doesn't start in that jail cell when she chooses to have sex with Caitlyn: it happens throughout the entirety of season 2. It starts with Vi’s small attempts at trying to not blame herself for her sister's mistakes in act 1 (“I’m done blaming myself for your mistakes” - 2x03), but it’s clear that deep down she still does blame herself and feels responsible. It continues throughout act 2, with the pitfighter arc being a crucial part of it. Sure, Vi’s pitfighter arc is self-destructive and Vi has terrible coping mechanisms during that period, but it’s also the moment in season 2 where she starts focusing on own pain first, instead of trying to protect other people. And finally, it has its culmination in the jail scene, when Vi finally allows herself to give into her desires.
Reblogged camwolfe
These two 🥹 Very loosely based on the NASA fic, of which the latest chapter got me sobbing uncontrollably into my dinner. Very loosely as in it's not a particular scene from it, but I kept on thinking of that AU while drawing this 💫
Reblogged missbluebird
butchfemme knight + princess…
prints here
Reblogged saimoggie
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orawyra
FINALLY it's done yayyyyyy !!!!! sorry it took so long gang </3
secret santa for frostymilkshake as part of @sassysnakeillustrations arcane secret santa event 💙 shhh nobody died actually they r all happy and full of whimsy
