@malewifegradyruewen / malewifegradyruewen.tumblr.com
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- name: Jolie
- pronouns: they/them/she/her
- fandoms: kotlc, agent carter, doctor who, and so on and so forth as it pleases me
- i have one mildly viral post and i hate it. my only advice to people who want to join tumblr is never aspire to have a viral post
- ao3: jolieharkness
- my masterposts!!
obsessed with the woman at the dmv who replied with a firm “no” when asked if she wanted to be an organ donor but when the clerk asked “do you want junk mail? we sell your name and address to companies” she paused and gave a very thoughtful yet decisive “…yeah”
damn is this a new era of tumblr fake stories
is it truly that difficult to believe that some people are just bizarre
out of all the responses from ppl that have never been outside i’d say this is my favorite. like have you never just been in a room with other people that are speaking
i wish there was an easier way to tell the difference between an "if it sucks hit da bricks" situation and a "sometimes being an adult means doing things that you dont wanna" situation
The best answer to this that I've seen is "You are free to do whatever you like. You must only live with the consequences."
"If it sucks, hit da bricks" is for when you realize that you actually definitely can live with the consequences of Not Doing The Thing.
"Sometimes being an adult means doing things that you don't wanna" is for when you've thought it over and it turns out you would strongly prefer NOT to live with the consequences of Not Doing The Thing.
Whats the opposite of a girlboss. Im like a girlfailure
You're all fucking welcome
"gaining eight notes in two years" is devastating
ok i just got this thought out of nowhere but blog divers (people who scroll through a blog and reblog things that were posted YEARS AGO) are actually a super important part of the tumblr ecosystem
With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see
do not feel bad about diving through someone's blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive
(and if anyone has a problem with that, they can just block you or they can delete the root post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, two things that have absolutely no effect on the grand scheme of our lives)
Cycling nutrients (old tumblr posts) from the ocean floor (mutual's blog archive) to increase (dashboard) ecosystem productivity
Whale Fall Scavengers Spreading Vital Nutrients From The Surface Back Into The Ecosystem
Those are handy for finding out what breaker an outlet is on
Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?
actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.
and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”
listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.
I feel like we don’t talk about the OG text on this meme enough
What the FUCK
the like button is heart shaped because i press it to let you know that i love you
The reblog button is shaped like that because I am recycling you and turning you into compost for my garden
cup check. take all cups in your home and put them in your room. put them in your bedroom. put all of them in your room where you sleep. put them near your bed where you sleep. all of them
making every conversation into being about The Character with the same reliability and conviction of a youth pastor going “you know who else partied? our lord and savior”
my pussy ferocious theykeep it at the zoo
my pussy atrocious it sounds like kazoo
my pussy precocious it says how do you do
my pussy mitosis
now there are two
now there are two
maybe this is just because im not big on sparkling water... but what's bubblr (ive never heard of it???)
officially it's called 'antioxidant sparkling water' but really it's an energy drink with a softer, girlier aesthetic
see what i mean? they taste like juice, and they don't taste like chemicals at all. there's 12 flavors and this is actually an outdated picture because cherry guava was replaced by wild cherry chill'r about a year and a half ago. they also were only offered regionally at first, so i've been drinking them since 8th or maybe 7th grade (so nearly 7 years), but out-of-state they've only become available in the last maybe two years, and with smaller selections. i've also only seen them in other midwest states, specifically border states, but never in places like florida or new york (although i think they're available in most targets nationwide now)
they're in every vending machine in my school, but it's only two flavors (twisted elix'r and triple berry breez'r, which are two of the best ones so i'm not complaining) and there's a bigger selection in the convenience store. they just launched a new flavor, peach raspberry dazzl'r, and everyone was asking their friends if they'd tried it. the c-store got cases of the new flavor in and are still displaying them on the counter and it's really good. my highschool was in an uproar when the price in the vending machine changed from $1 to $1.25, because they're normally $1.19 at a gas station, but i would normally buy boxes at the store and bring one nearly every day, because it was cheaper and i could have different flavors.
anyways it's part of the culture where i'm from, and i remember being shocked to find out that it was a regional beverage. i honestly forget it's not a thing everywhere (yet, at least) so it didn't cross my mind that you wouldn't know what i was talking about. i hope this was informative <3
A few weeks ago I tried explaining to my non tumblr friends what blorbo/eeby deeby/glup shitto/scrunglo/plinko was and it almost gave all of us an aneurysm
This was the post I was trying to explain. This was how I looked
Yeah I can see how this would feel like having a stroke to an outsider
I did use the word "scrungly" to a coworker who affirmed that yes, she understood the meaning from context
Sometimes it's "what are you doing at the devil's sacrament" and other times it's like "what are you doing trying to explain the devil's sacrament?"
Tell them the air is halal too
Seriously do these people not understand that anything without pork or alcohol can be halal? Or that almost all seafood is halal? Even if other meats aren’t halal basically anything vegan or vegetarian is by default halal
the issue with toblerone and the reason they added the halal certificate is because nougat is often one of those things that can contain hidden pork through the gelatine (not all countries demand a specification on what kind of gelatine, and pork is the most common one), but most chocolate nougat bars have now switched to cheaper gelling agents, not for a love towards muslim but to get more profit… and as someone that is from a halal household, toblerone has literally always been halal for muslims to eat–the halal certificate just makes it official and easier for muslims to find
^^ Thanks for clearing that up, I was wondering what the hell would make a chocolate bar be non-halal.
that means it’s kosher, too!
“My stupid woke chocolate doesn’t even have pork in it”
