Alastor: Hello and welcome, to this very special broadcast! From now on I'll be running this segment with new co-host. Say Hello to our lovely listeners wont you?

Vincent: Vincent Whittman here, you may recognise me from my television appearances. I currently present the weather, but rest assured, soon enough I'll be running the whole studio!

Alastor: With a little help from yours truly of course. And I'm sure the people have a lot of questions to ask, so we're declaring the phone in offically open!

Vincent: This is a bare all broadcast, sparing none of the gory details. So dont be shy! Call us today, and trust US with your entertainment.

RULES --- ART --- FICs --- ASKS --- INFO

Vincent: Alastor just likes pain. He doesnt care if its one sided or double sided.

Alastor: Guilty as charged. Though we are a rare breed to find in the wild. I still think Vincent needs to be more open to exploring it. Most people would fear for their lives with a knife at their throat.

Vincent: If I am one, I'd rather not find out. Last thing I need is to get a taste for near death experiences.

Alastor: Hmm, I suppose I could see how that could become an issue.

I've not encountered another victim who came close to enjoying pain for many years, but it has happened. Fortunately it was back home, and we were deep enough in the bayou that I didn't need to worry about the screaming.

Though he seemed to enjoy it in a more... distasteful way than I do. But I was able to quickly put an end to that kind of nonsense.

(Alastor is technically a sadomasochist. He's a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and murder usually gives him that fix, but pain in any direction also gives him an adrenaline rush. He doesn'tget anything sexual out of it thoguh)

Alastor: Why? Because it's entertaining of course! In our regular broadcasts we can't be so candid about our... hobbies

Vincent: Not to mention the fact that if we were to die tomorrow, then our legacy probaly dies with us.

Alastor: Exactly! I'd be doing this on a regular broadcasts if the consequences didn't outweigh the benefits.

(Me and Boys are all just having fun interacting with people lol)

Alastor: Urgh, even if it was legal I wouldnt enjoy being on camera. If I absolutely had to, I suppose I'd do a talk show? I might be able to stomach that more than just mindlessly following someone else's script and cue cards to an empty studio.

Vincent: You'd actually need to school your expressions. I've seen you in the booth Al, you're usually multitasking or look bored out of your mind while debating with most of the phone ins.

Alastor: Darlin' I can make it through anything with a smile if if the need arises. What about you? How do you think you'd fair with Radio?

Vincent: It seems so... isolating in the booth. Not to mention the fact you need to fill dead air even if theres not much to talk about. And you're just sat there doing nothing while the records and dramas are playing. I'd probaly be bored out of my mind.

Vincent: This is a good one. Hypnotism, maybe? Could be useful in persuading people to fall in line and see things my way.

Alastor: Your way? Not ours? I see how it is.

Vincent: I didn't mean it like that!

Alastor: Hmm, sure you didn't. Magical powers though, huh? Perhaps invisibility? I could have a lot of fun with the ability to slip into places undetected and learn people's secrets.

Vincent: Would be useful too. But then again, you're a terrible gossip who just loves to know everyone's business anyway.

Alastor, wistfully: I would deny it if it wasn't objectionably true. It's surprising just how much people are willing to confess to me, especially when I'm tending the bar.

Vincent, under his breath: It's because you've got a pretty face and charming smile

Alastor: What was that?

Vincent: Nothing! I was just agreeing with you.

Alastor: ???

Vincent: Legally we met at work 😇 If you're looking for an honest answer however. I'd say 'we met over a dead body, because of our mutual appreciation for murder.'

Alastor, with a wide grin: What a delightfully misleading way to say: 'I was an insufferable idoit and almost got killled by my quarry, but luckily Alastor took pity on me instead of killing me.' You truly are a master of twisting words to suit your narrative.

Vincent: Hey! I wasn't even in that much danger. He might not have been dead, but he was close enough.

Alastor smirking: Keep telling yourself that, pal. Maybe you'll even believe it one day.

Vincent: Oh please. The real reason you joined in and took the kill was because you "Hadn't had this much entertainment" As you did when you realised I was also a killer, and wasnt afraid of you.

Vincent: It's fine. I mean a stranger coming up and grabbing me might be uncomfortable, but in general I'm fine with people being tactile. It can be a useful tool too.

Alastor, deadpan: ... No.

Vincent: Oh, yeah, Alastor very rarely tolerates anyone touching him, unless it's a handshake.

Alastor: Vincent gets... touchy, while drunk. And I really do not care for it.

Vincent: Yeah, I'm lucky he seems to tolerate me.

Alastor: For now at least. Though trying it sober may be pushing your luck.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect people not to touch me without consent. Especially strangers.

(Alastor tolerating Vincent being an affectionate drunk, is partly because Alastor is usually also tipsy or drunk when it happens)

Alastor: Vincent would get a very eye opening experience, experiencing how the world really works outside of those born with privilege.

Vincent: Alastor would kill most of our colleagues if he had to work with them directly. He likes being able to have his own space and lurk in the shadows, being centre stage in the spotlight all the time would probaly make him really uncomfortable... and more murderous, if thats even possible.

Vincent, deadpan: Alastor would eat me.

Alastor: Tsk, they asked about our sanity, not survival... basides, I'd probably wait until you lost you mind first.

Vincent: Really?

Alastor: Why of course, you can be quite amusing to converse with. That being said, I doubt your sanity would hold out long without electricity or an audience.

Vincent: You'd be there, it's like I'd be on my own... I think the two of us could make it work without losing our minds.

Alastor: Hmmm...

Vincent, teasing: Besides, Alastors half feral already. I might not even notice!

Alastor: Deer is kind of my family's brand, since its part of our name.

Vincent: How the hell do you get 'Deer' from any part of your name?

Alastor: ... My surname is Delabiche

Vincent: ...

Alastor: Ugh, I forget how uncultured you are sometimes. Darlin', Biche is the french word for 'Deer'.

(Delabiche literally translates to 'of the doe'. Alastor's mother also is called Doe (Dorothy) so she used to call Alastor her little fawn)

Vincent: That's such a pretty thresher shark! Is that a common or bigeye? It's hard to tell from a photo. The colours look like it's reflecting a rainbow

Alastor: You spend way too much time at the aquarium. They asked for a name aswell

Vincent: Huh? Oh, yeah.... Rainbow wave? No, no Wavelength. Yeah, Wavelength is a cool name for him

Vincent: Are you kidding? I've got so many it's hard to choose!

Alastor: No one is surprised that the person obsessed with visible media loves movies

Vincent: Yeah, but there so many good movies. 'Gone with the wind', 'King Kong', 'Metropolis' 'Wizard of Oz' was just stunning to watch, it was so colourful. What about Chaplins 'the great dictator"?

Alastor: Charlie Chaplin is usually good, too bad he generally focuses on romance so much. Laurel and Hardy are more my style when it comes to comedy.

Vincent: 'Sons of the desert' was their best one. But come on Al, I know you've been to the movies more than that

Alastor: I like that one from awhile ago, what was it called... Ah! 'Arsenic and old Lace'. And 'The man who laughs' was surpsingly good too

Vincent: We also both like 'Dr Jekyll and Mr hyde', and 'The devil and David Webster'

Vincent: I dont really buy all that afterlife shit. Coming back as animals doesn't really make sense to me.

Alastor: Hmm, I'd didn't realise you were so closed minded. Isn't it interesting to imagine what might lie beyond this world?

Vincent: Urgh, I dont know. If I'm being honest here, I think you only get one shot, so you gotta make it count while you're alive.

Alastor: Well I'm much more open minded to the idea. I beleive there are spirits beyond the vale that can interact with our world, so reincarnation isn't too far fetched at all. Though I'm not sure what I would reincarnate as.

Vincent: Shark! If we're talking animals, you're definatly a shark... Unless death has a sense of humour? Then you'd probably be something small and fluffy. Maybe you'd even have a cute little tail too!

Alastor, unimpressed: What a horrid fate to wish upon me. With that logic you'd probably be an annoying little lightning bug.

Though personally I think that the only afterlife waiting for us is in Hell. If I'm lucky maybe I can even strike a deal with a devil to let us continue our fun for eternity.

Vincent: We sure as shit ain't getting into heaven, thats for sure.

(Vincent is Agnostic, but was raised on the bible. Alastor loosly follows Voodoo-Catholicism, but leans more into the voodoo side of the religion)

Yep, ask box is perfect for anything you want to ask, or ideas/headcanons you have ^^

New fic up on A03!

We can fake it for the airwaves

Alastor: I'd have said a complete mess. But hear that, pal? Adorable!

Vincent, muttering: I'm not adorable. I feel like Death warmed up.

Alastor, teasing: A fresh and warm corpse. It would be a happy new year to me indeed!

Vincent: Fuck off. I'm not on the menu. The fact this isn't the first time I've had to say that is getting creepy.

Alastor: Hmmm. I wonder if a certain little lady got a photograph of you at any point last night?

Vincent: She better not have! Besides, I remember a certain Radio Host dancing on the table. That was pretty cute, too.

Alastor: and that's where we end that conversation!

(Alastor is also pretry hung over, but he handles it a lot better than Vincent. He's staying sat down because his legs are still a bit wobbly)