@meeksandgeeks thanks... for studying with me today. even if we didnt talk about... any of this, it was nice to spend some time...

Reblogged

@meeksandgeeks thanks... for studying with me today. even if we didnt talk about... any of this, it was nice to spend some time with you. Sorry if I made it worse lol

meeksandgeeks

No worries, cam! :) we don’t have yo talk about it if you don’t want to, it’s okay :)

No you didn’t make it worse, you’re still my friend cam :)

camtastic-i

Well... its not something we can just avoid forever right? Even if you dont say its hurting you I know it is. Im not that bad at feelings haha.

And assuming it is... i dont wanna be the one to hurt you more. I really, really dont wanna do that. so... if that means us avoiding each other for a bit or you talking about it to me, im okay with that i guess

But... thanks. youre still my friend too meeksie:))

meeksandgeeks

I know we can’t avoid it forever, cam. But i really am ready to talk if you are, and i will never pressure to talk about it, ok? I want you to be comfortable..

Thank you but I think it’s clear to both of us that avoiding each other only makes it worse, cam…and i don’t mind talking to you about other things or studying..

camtastic-i

... i dont know if im ready to, i really dont know. but im not the one whos getting hurt by all of this, im not the one that started it in the first place. you should get to talk abiut it, it doesnt matter if im "ready" or not... whatever that even means.

... I dont know, meeksie. im just really really confused as to why avoiding each other isnt helping and spending time together isnt helping either. i dont know what the hell is supposed to happen from here. Im so so sorry. :(

meeksandgeeks

I know this is new to us both and i’m sorry. You know that confession is not meant to ask for any kind of validation or relationship…if that’s why you’re confused. I never expected you to be, with me..in that sense.

My take on that is because we’re so used to each other. But this news bomb that I dropped shook the foundation of our friendship and it confused the both of us on where we stand. And even if i try to stay away, it would only make it so much worse and hurt much more. Because you’re one of my best friends, cam :)

We don’t have to establish a romantic relationship, no. And i think platonic relationships are better anyway :)

camtastic-i

... im starting to think i shouldnt have forced you to tell me. If this wasn't gonna be anything anyway, why did you tell me, meeks? it just made everything worse and more confusing and now everything's fucked up and all of its my faukt because for some reason i dont think I can feel the same way bsck. why the hell did you have to tell me, meeksie?

you're one of my best friends too and Im so fucking sorry ive hurt hou so much. im so fuckign sorry I cant feel that way bsck no matter how hard I try, i judt cant and I know ive hurt you because of thst so im sorry. but i know i love you so damn much meeksie anf it hurts so bad when its in a different way than you, i can see how you look at me, you know.

but I stikl lovr you so so much snd I dont wanna see. You hurt im sorry fkr the essay haha

meeksandgeeks

You didn’t ruin anything. Please don’t say that. I didn’t tell you because I wanted something from you, or because I thought you’d feel the same. I swear. I just… didn’t want it to stay unsaid forever. It wasn’t meant to be a weight you had to carry. :)

I know you don’t feel the same way. I knew that even before I opened my mouth. And yeah, it hurts but that part’s mine, not yours. You don’t owe me a different heart. I just wanted you to know that someone sees you. That I admire you the way you are, not because I expect anything to change. You matter to me, Cam. That’s it. That was always it.

You’re still one of my favorite people, actually. And I don’t want to lose that, or make you feel guilty for being honest. I’m glad you were honest. So don’t apologize for not loving me the way I love you. Just… let me stay. Let me care in the way I can. :)

That’s enough for me. :)

camtastic-i

fuvk meeks just let m e sau im sorry :')

yourd one fo my favorite poeple too ive mever had somronr say thst to me before. or any of thid if ib being hondest i love yku so ufckjng much whst the hell

csn i habe a hugnright now

meeksandgeeks

Fine i’ll take your sorry, now you can stop saying it :)

of course cam, i love you too :) i’m on my way there …someone gotta wipe your tears and snot, i know you’re crying right now :)))

camtastic-i

wekl I woudl say im storry but i g uesf not anymorr:)

jyrah i gu4ss i am but its ykur fauylt mr 'yiu dont o we me a diffrtbent heart'

i lbove tou

meeksandgeeks

Yeah you can’t say that anymore :)

Awww is the richard cameron moved by that :)))) but everything is true, cam :) i love you :)

camtastic-i