Aristotle: It is clear that semen is a residue of useful nutriment (Generation of Animals I.18, 726a26)

Me:

*scrolling tumblr* hmmm. i agree with the sentiment of this post, but the phrasing feels off to me. it doesn’t really have that Reblog factor, you know? *scrolls* oh good, a post that just says “i jerk off till my penis scrweam” . i better reblog this

idk if i told the full story on here but i signed up for a research study where they were testing a new opioid, and it was supposed to be up to 5 injections increasing the dose to see what people could tolerate

i got the first dose and almost immediately fainted. they had to call in a whole medical team and it was a huge fucking deal

i was kicked out of the study and got a phone call later where they were supposed to tell me what the drug was, so i could avoid it in the future. they told me it was saline water. a placebo. i fainted from the placebo effect.

anyway, it's been a few months and i just got an email from the same department asking me to be a research participant in a new study: testing the effects of open-label placebo.

open label placebo is when the subjects and the researchers all know it's a placebo. they're testing the power of my mind. my power to imagine anything.

i like to think that they chose me for this specifically based on their past experience with me. "get the guy who fainted like a little bitch boy from saline water." anyway i just submitted all my info and i'm looking forward to getting started.

placebos georg is fucking with the control group again

psychic *reads my mind*

Me;

Someone approached me irl yesterday and mentioned this video and I got so flustered because I can’t believe people remember me most by my 3 am fever dream wow

I think this video is cursed because every so often I’ll think about it out of the blue and the next time I’m on tumblr I see it.

This video is definitely cursed. Cause I’m OP and I died making it

new tumblr reaction image just dropped

w/ bonus template (but I better not see this anywhere but tumblr)

Here’s an example:

As a general rule of fantasy and sci-fi naming, the closer to the back half of the alphabet the average letter in their name is, the eviller they are. A name that doesn't contain any consonants north of R is poison frog colouration. If it uses Y as a vowel in a non-terminal position you're basically fucked.

That single "e" is doing a lot for you, Mr. Prokopetz.

Well, yes; a lot of Western fantasy and sci-fi media's propensity to villain-code the back half of the alphabet boils down to Western authors being Weird™ about Slavic cultures, and I'll give you three guesses where my surname comes from.

One of your parents

*points a giant laser at your house*

📸 by @ 最爱抹茶 on XHS

Click here for the rest of their photos

yay ^_^ (i cut out a few frames)

maybe when they air the secret stranger things episode they’ll accidentally upload the wrong file from the industry folder of secret tv episodes and it’ll be the lost sherlock episode instead

guys listen listen listen. we all know that it's asinine to claim you're concerned about misogyny and then call a woman a stupid skank little bitch. that's obvious. that's beginner shit. we have GOT to focus on the infinitely funnier and more innovative part, which is accusing me of being Russian.

tumblr user with an encyclopedic knowledge of homestuck blames the fact that they dont know where Venezuela is because of the American public school system

tumblr user who jokes about how they love reading random wikipedia articles for fun suddenly incapable of googling "where is nigeria located"

if you're tagging this as #me i urge you to develop a sense of shame immediately