friend just told me that he and his siblings used to play a game called "abraham lincoln and the slimy slug" wherein one person is abraham lincoln, with a full range of motion, and one person is a slimy slug inside a sleeping bag

and they would fight. and of course abraham lincoln would just beat the absolute shit out of the slimy slug

Why healing wound so itchy if itching wound while healing so bad????????

No I am normal human who can leave bandages alone do not do NOT get the cone. I am recovering normal.style NOT dog style.

every time i get close to someone i feel like a stray dog trying to live in a house. like i don’t know where to put my body or how loud i’m allowed to be.

guys ur never gonna believe what 602 is doing right now

river nap

yeah

bro i cant remember /hj or /lh or /pos or whatever. just sneeze like a normal dog so i know we’re only play fighting.

stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

why didn't the parasitic wasp assassinate reagan

Because parasitic WASPs loved Reagan.

I Literally miss armpits so bad mann

correction: i miss smelling other people's armpits after theyve been suffering summer heat all day

i don't have a tip for this one hi helly sorry

hi can you give me a veryclose hug

hi you're not getting that

“[kink] is bad because [thing the kink is based on] is bad” is such a funny take. we’re acting. you hate theater. you’re standing up in the audience and mansplaining to lady macbeth that killing people is wrong

To the bold ff.net user in 2013 who tried to write Moby-Dick from the whale’s perspective, please get back here you were cooking

I love going to bed early

I also love staying up late and going to sleep at 5am

I don't know what I'm doing with my life

the worst thing about writing or any kind of craft is having an idea you're really excited to make a reality but then you sit down and realize how much work it's going to take to get to that point and suddenly you feel like those two little gay guys in the mountain in the lord of the rings

do you remember how good it was in our head mr frodo

knuckle tattoos that say PUPY DOGY

(guy who literally has easy access to painkillers voice) ough,,, everything aches,,, ouch, if only,,, there was something i could do to stop this,,,,,, guess ill just put up with it,,,,

an “original character” is like a kind of brain parasite