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Never feed a whipplehoff

@monkeysatemylastrolo / monkeysatemylastrolo.tumblr.com

Yo! Okay, mini-intro time: Agender (any pronouns are okay!), Autistic (self-diagnosed), AroAce Brit in Japan. Not too great at the 'social' part of 'social media,' but only 'cos I'm an awkward, non-confrontational blob who is terrible at approaching strangers. AO3 (and ff.net, for the Merlin fics I plan to get back to... someday...): Vegetableswillhavetheirrevenge. D20: I love everyone in every season. SPIES ARE FOREVER: Yes, yes, yes and YES! SPN: THE JAM FAM (aka Sam as Jack's father) IS LIFE!!! Hit me up if you want to join my Jam Fam discord server! (Disclaimer- I can be kinda Dean-critical at times.) MCU: Mainly Tony. Haven't seen anything past Endgame (personal choice- was getting a bit too bitter). Essentially a non-shipper (though some ships I'm more okay with than others). Gorgeous galaxy wolf/jellies header by the awesome 'Artherra'

Master doc that contains different resources and support for many countries including Palestine, Congo, Haiti, Hawai’i, etc ((op is underneath the link))

[ID: Tweet by Nanu's eyebrows 🇹🇹❤️🔱… @ Seaweedlagoon which reads: "I'd appreciate if you guys would spread around my master document that not only contains support for Palestine but other countries as well, I'm updating it with resources for Puerto Rico, Lebanon and Trinidad and Tobago tomorrow!" With a link to the above doc/End ID]

the more educated you get on fat issues the more you realize that almost everything that supposedly justifies fatphobia is actually complete bullshit. most of the health conditions that are treated as almost divine punishment for being fat (like heart issues and diabetes) are being revealed to actually *cause weight gain* instead of being caused *by* it. this goes for social 'consequences' of being fat, too. is that "neckbeard" redditor actually fat because he spends all his time online, or is it that he spends all of his time online because he's not treated like a person if you can see that he's fat, so the internet is his best option? everything is less accessible to fat people. seats on busses, at restaurants, and even at things like amusement parks, are frequently too small to comfortably sit in for a fat person. people treat you worse if you're fat, or even try to avoid you entirely. you get judged for doing leisure activities, or even for exercising at a public gym, (which proves the claims of trying to motivate you to get fit are bullshit btw) getting filmed and laughed at, posted online for your body to be a punchline. if you want to be progressive or body positive you *need* to be examining your beliefs. oppressed people are routinely forced into positions that, from the outside, may justify the narrative about these people. black folk are pushed into poverty, so that crime is often their only means of survival, enforcing the idea that black folk are criminals. queer folk are made unsafe in public so that we use codes to identify each other, enforcing the idea that queer folk are trying to secretly seduce people to be gay. and yes, fat folk are forced indoors and online so that they can enforce the narrative that we are lazy shut-ins.

straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus

I'm assuming the above is a normie opinion (as it should be) so i do wanna go a tiny step further and explicitly state any laundromat that requires digital payment should be burned to the fucking ground

if a business cooerces its customers to download an app, i should legally be allowed to set both the business and its board of directors on fire

once again needing to remind some people that mispronouncing foreign words isn't just about not knowing how to say it; if your language doesn't have that sound, in many cases you can't hear it properly. You won't be able to hear yourself say it wrong because you probably can't distinguish between the sounds a native speaker can. It will sound right to you and you will be wrong.

Most languages use relatively similar sound inventories overall, but make distinctions others don't. And the way the our language centers work is they group these sounds together, allowing us to recognize that things within a given range constitute a recognizable phoneme. If your languages groups together sounds another language makes a distinction between, your brain cannot tell.

So everyone on those posts congratulating themselves for looking up pronunciation and saying "It's Not That Hard?" Surprise, you might have still got it wrong and can't even tell. You can look up the IPA chart and still flub it completely because what sounds right to your brain and what a native speaker will understand are totally different things!

"I might have butchered that, please let me know" is sometimes an excuse for lack of research, but it is, unfortunately, also a much more accurate self-assessment than confidently fucking it up after mouthing along to a wav file a few times.

This is one of the reasons that, historically, many people would take on or be granted new names if they stayed any length of time in another culture; it's very common for the names from one language to simply not map to the sounds of another!

this just in apparently; accents are just affectations and every ESL person who has ever struggled to understand or pronounce a word is a lazy white person

(I first need to say that it is folly to overexamine a slogan, and the slogan as it stands is never intended to be examined; it is a tool for provocation and a rally to do better, and can never be “incorrect.” I am not criticising the intention of the slogan.)

When Black Americans have addressed the genuinely shameful failures of white Americans to pronounce Black names, it is, firstly, absolutely necessary. This has been done in the past with the slogan, “white people can pronounce Tchaikovsky and Schwarzenegger.”

This is intended to highlight the entirely correct point that white Americans have made more efforts to address names that are considered “foreign” and “difficult” but are associated with “white” cultures, than to address Black names. The slogan is provocative, useful, and highlights the hypocrisy of white Americans. It is a challenge to do better. Because Americans often perceive z’s and v’s to be “foreign” and “difficult” it is an especially pointed dig.

However. Let us briefly lump together Americans, all English-speaking Americans of various backgrounds dialects, into one American lump and stand back.

Respectfully: you HAVE to be American to believe that Americans have learned to pronounce “Tchaikovsky” and “Schwarzenegger” correctly.

Although Americans firmly and confidently believe that they can take on “Schwarzenegger,” German speakers… don’t. That’s just not how you say those sounds. One particular letter gets mangled.

It isn’t even an accent problem; you can say it correctly with a strong American accent. The American reinvention of “Schwarzenegger” represents a failure to understand how German sounds work, which is fine - hey, they’re “difficult” and “foreign” - but it is paired with total unearned confidence on the part of ALL Americans of ALL dialects that “of course we know how to say it. It’s a celebrity who was on the TV, he’s a governor, that’s how everyone says it.”

If you listen to Arnold saying HIS OWN NAME, which he does, you can tell that AMERICANS ARE NOT EVEN SAYING HIS NAME LIKE HE DOES. Even British people land a better attempt. It is a function of American cultural hegemony that Americans do not notice this. It is an inherently American view of the world to believe that a consistent, confident mispronunciation of someone’s name is a respectful, educated and correct handling.

(Tchaikovsky is interesting because it’s an Anglicisation of a French version of the spelling of Чайковский, which was possibly settled on because it was the easier way to get English speakers to perceive it. American English tried a different version in his own lifetime, as you can see below, but which would have led to Americans putting a “cow” in it.)

Again, it doesn’t cancel the slogan, the slogan is good-quality - but it shows how this is invisible to those who have not learned otherwise.

Outside of America, all Americans are perceived as American together, and Yanks join the ranks of English speakers. English speakers are famed around the world for having the same “bash and mangle it into something that sounds similar, and insist that it’s correct, because you don’t hear the difference” approach.

It will help in learning other languages to try. It will help a lot to take the loss with grace and accept correction!

Although the OP sort of accidentally implies that you “can’t” hear certain nuanced sounds - it is entirely possible to distinguish and perceive most nuanced sounds even in extremely nuanced languages, with intention and attention and training, especially with the guidance of a native speaker. Even if you can’t get it perfect it is still possible to improve and worthy to try!

IMO of the most fascinating ways for an English native speaker, especially an American one, to understand this is to watch how Mr Yang teaches Chinese students how to use American handling. “Soften up on the K sound” “throw in a little SpongeBob to it” you will suddenly hear things you probably weren’t ready to hear.

Here is a British person making a respectful attempt at Schwarzenegger, followed by Schwarzenegger saying it himself. One person has a British accent, and Schwarzenegger’s Austrian accent is considered distinctive to German speakers, but ideally, once you try to notice it, even if you are American, you should be able to hear what Americans are doing wrong.

I thought this was clickbait but no turns out a looted Olmec artifact depicting the mouth of Tepeyollotlicuhti, and symbolically marking an entrance to the underworld, was recovered in Denver and returned to Mexico.

Its called "Portal al Inframundo" look how cool this thing is.

Two of the main fish that we breed at work are clownfish and dottybacks, and in most of the tanks in boodstock we have a clown pair and a dotty pair. Recently I have begun to think of them as the opposites of each other. Hear me out okay

Clownfish are all born male and the largest one in a group becomes the dominant female. She protects the territory and defends their nest from predators and rivals, while the smaller male tends to the eggs. Sometimes they fight but a happy, bonded clownfish couple is a force united, both of them prepared to keep their eggs safe at any cost.

Dotties are all born female and the largest one becomes the male. He is also territorial and defends his nest violently if necessary. But, he is also the sole caretaker of the eggs. The female dotty has no parental instincts whatsoever. In fact, part of the reason male dotties are so territorial is because the female is a predator. She won’t hesitate to turn around and eat the eggs she just laid. So, even the most chill dotty couple is in a constant tango of paranoia over the possibility of the female sneaking in and eating her own children. Even if the two have lived together peacefully for years, he has no problem ripping her apart if she gets too close to his nest before the eggs hatch.

It’s like a house with a happy loving couple on one floor and their downstairs neighbors are in a fight to the death because the wife was trying to eat their kids again.

i might have already talked about this before but it’s actually crazy that jogging gets treated as a default ‘getting into shape for the first time’ exercise ESPECIALLY if someone’s goal involves weight loss. people who are more than ~200lbs often need special gear and running techniques to avoid shin splints etc *even if all that weight is solid muscle*, and the likelihood of injury only goes up as strength to weight ratio decreases. someone who’s both heavy AND untrained is just going to be miserable for however long it takes their bones and connective tissue to adapt to the sudden increase in demand. usually this takes months, but it can take even longer under adverse conditions like, say, suddenly eating way less than normal. and all this for an activity that literally isn’t even fun unless you are a specific type of insane. there are so many low impact and actually enjoyable forms of cardio why are we slapshotting biomechanically disadvantaged novices into the david goggins torment dimension

could. could you maybe. list some of those 'low impact and enjoyable forms of cardio'? this is not sarcasm, this is a genuine request, every form of exercise I have tried recently has put me in the torment dimension. thank you and I love you

yeah sure! there’s a lot of good suggestions in the notes, i’m probably missing a few

if you have access to a gym/appropriate facilities:

  • a LOT of people in the notes vouching for swimming, and it makes sense. not only is it basically zero impact on any of your joints, it engages just about every muscle in your body and it’s actually easier to stay afloat the higher your bodyfat%
  • stationary bike/elliptical: works for some better than others, but definitely far lower impact than running, usually has adjustable difficulty, and you can watch youtube videos or play games on your phone to pass the time
  • non stationary bike: the benefits of a stationary bike plus the ability to travel to a location
  • weight lifting: if you’re a total beginner to exercise this genuinely might be a better place to start than any designated ‘cardio’ activity, it Will get your heart rate up and build strength to do higher impact stuff with less risk, but designing a routine can feel overwhelming without help from a trainer/more experienced lifter
  • classes: yoga, pilates, dance, kickboxing, spin class, water aerobics, etc. as long as you can find one that accommodates your current fitness level and is a reasonably friendly environment
  • rowing: i actually know relatively little about rowing, but this has come up in the notes several times and people seem to like it. def seems like a good overall workout with little to no jarring impact
  • roller derby: definitely less of a Safe Beginner Activity and more ‘form of cardio you can do if you are on the fit side but still hate running’ but has come up in the notes multiple times specifically as a sport where a range of body types can do well

minimal equipment alternatives:

  • walking: if you have the resources to jog you have the resources to walk, and it really is a good form of exercise that also puts less strain on your joints
  • dance tutorials: seen a few people recommending these, there’s apparently a huge variety on youtube and you can take things at whatever pace works for you
  • yoga: also beginner friendly classes on youtube, good way to build up mobility and bodyweight strength
  • someone in the notes recommended hula hooping?? which actually sounds kind of genius especially if you don’t have a lot of gear or space. also iirc you can buy different weights of hula hoops for reasonably cheap so there’s a way to up the intensity over time
  • this seems like a decent resource at first glance and i think i saw more than one rec for them

one important thing to remember for anyone out there who’s significantly out of shape and feels overwhelmed is that when it comes to fitness you have one enormous advantage: it is currently EXTREMELY EASY for you to get exercise

do you 🫵 get winded walking up a flight of stairs? is curling a 5lb dumbbell 10 times difficult for you? can you barely do a single knee push-up? well i have great news: doing all of those things twice still probably takes less you less than 10 minutes. which means you can do a genuinely worthwhile daily workout in less than ten minutes. and it’ll probably get easy fast, and then you can find a heavier dumbbell

I cannot recommend enough that if you are at the pure beginner cant do anything without getting winded state that you simply add movement to your usual leisure activities.

Watching TV? Raise and lower your arms for a few reps while watching. Playing a video game? Do it standing for a little bit, marching in place if you can (my balance didnt always allow it). Standing at the stove or sink for a minute? Raise one foot up behind you and just hold it for as long as your muscles will allow. Clench your abs while youre waiting at a red light. Bounce your toes a few times while you're laying in bed.

Trying to get into shape can feel so daunting when you're starting from zero. Doing just a little something extra in your normal routine is more achievable than you know, and makes more of a difference than youd think.

I also really recommend adding "after injury" to any searches for exercises. "for beginners" is fine but "after injury" tends to be gentler in my experience

So I rewatched some of Merlin last night (specifically 01x13) and the way they frame Gaius's position on magic throughout the show is very interesting (and indicative of a much bigger problem of the show)

That wish for Merlin to rarely use his gifts is truly the epitome of Gaius’s character. He is the voice telling Merlin no at every single turn. And the way this is framed as if it was a blessing, something entirely needed, and not something that should be challenged and changed in the future is so cruel to me. Like, I know it's talked about quite a bit in the fandom, but it's spoken as if a good thing that Merlin has got so much better at hiding and not as if it's a temporary thing that should, and will, be altered one day. A certainty that should be praised and not a depressing reality being forced on these two. It's always a compliment when they speak about the fact that they used so little magic, and not as if it's part of their culture they are being forced to give up on the whims of a cruel king.

And then we see Lancelot (back on my foil bs I guess) who not only sees Merlin's magic but actively encourages it. Asking him to use it and always smiling when he does. Kindness and beauty in place of the harshness Merlin is always expecting. And the narrative punishes him for it. Kills off the only person who doesn't scold Merlin for using magic because he knows about it. Not even to mention the slight hesitance Lancelot has to the mention of destiny. Dying for a purpose he doesn't fully understand since Merlin was about to sacrifice himself, all while wishing for Merlin to care for himself, to show off, to enjoy a part of himself forced in darkness but deserving to be set in the sun. Murdering the last bit of whimsy left in Merlin's life surrounding his magic and never replacing it with another character knowing (I'm looking at you, Gwaine, I wanted you to know sooooooooooo bad). Just so horrible of them.

So like, the show is actively taking the stance that it's fine to have these gifts, fine to be born in a different way, fine to be different, but don't try to flaunt it, don't enjoy it ever because it doesn't deserve to be seen or shown. And god, is that an awful stance for them to have taken.

One thing I will always appreciate Fullmetal Alchemist for is the fact that they let Roy Mustang be complicit in genocide.

Mustang is an Atoner figure. Something that plagues Atoner figures is when writers are too precious about the characters we're meant to like to actually let them be guilty of something serious.

The Atoner might be trying to make amends for their involvement in the Great '87 Hotel Massacre, and then three seasons in you find out what happened. And it's like, "I drove a taxi to the hotel, and the KILLER was in it! I ferried the killer to the hotel! That makes me responsible, and now I must atone for being nearby while the killings took place! And also vanquish the real killer who is the villain for this season."

Or maybe the Atoner did do the killings but they were under mind control the whole time and would never, ever have done it in their right mind.

But FMA said no. Mustang, Hawkeye, Hughes, even Armstrong to an extent though he suffered a breakdown and fled during it. They did that shit. They followed their orders and they did that shit. And it haunts them.

Roy did that shit. And his atonement, his grand ambition, is to see everyone responsible for that shit brought to justice for their crimes. Including himself.

That is how you write an atonement plot.

REAAAALLLL!!! REAL AS FUCKKK

May I add as well:

Despite how much he atones he is never striving to be free of punishment. He wasn’t a to be fuhrer in order to make a political system where another genocide won’t happen again, yes. But what I find even better is that he WANTS TO BE TRIED FOR HIS CRIMES.

He complied with and serves a system which ordered him to genocide an entire people, wipe them all out indiscriminately, destroy their homes and land and culture, and then APPLAUDED THEM for it. And he can’t stand it. He’s called the “Hero of Ishval” because he was SO GOOD AT MURDERING ISHVALLANS EN MASSE. And he is furious and guilt stricken to never have been tried or imprisoned or punished at ALL for the atrocities he KNOWS he is PERSONALLY guilty of.

The driving force of creating that future where he - and everyone else complicit in the Ishvalan War Of Extermination - will be punished KEEPS HIM from over-punishing himself in the present. He’s always actively fighting his guilty conscience by pushing foreword to make a future where the world will punish him by itself. 

Mustang isn’t presented as less of an active participant than someone like Kimblee just because he didn’t like killing people whilst Kimblee did (though that certainly takes him down a few moral notches), no. What makes him and Riza protagonists isnt that they’re less complicit - it’s that they have decided now to fight for a future where they’ll get their punishment, whilst Kimblee is well aware of his crimes and the unjustness of it all, and yet is perfectly content to live with them because he finds humor in chaos and the fickle nature of the state.

It’s go good dude

peniswakt-deactivated20210717

this may be an Unpopular Opinion (even on tumblr) but like the 8-hour workday is just Too Gotdamn Long

like even sitting in an office for eight hours a day isn’t particularly pleasant (or healthy, as we are beginning to see) but when we’re talking about doing *actual work* for that same amount time it gets pretty fucking brutal

doing literally *anything* (even leisure activities) for eight hours straight tends to be less than enjoyable but when we’re talking about things like construction, landscaping, factory work, and hell, even foodservice and retail, eight hours is a fucking ETERNITY

i might just be a lazy weak-willed bitch but honestly i think i’m not entirely wrong

this was being worked towards by leftist labor unions way back in the day after the time of FDRs new deal. people in the 40s and 50s were already starting to realize that we no longer actually needed an 8 hour work day or even a 5 day work week.

even with the comparatively primitive factory tech of the time we were already creating a huge amount of excess production back then and companies were making massive amounts of profit. So it already stood to reason that companies should either let their employees work less and thus each employee could work a shorter shift without lowering the yearly compensation of each employee, or in cases where businesses provide an active service they would shorten the shift but hire more people to cover the necessary operating time. but of course that would mean less money for people at the top so companies fought back hard and we ended up with nixon’s bullshit and so on and now its considered the norm for us to spend the vast majority of our lives doing work that really just amounts to waste. 

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socialist-weeaboo

The IWW realised this and were fighting for it all the way back in the 1930s. This is a take with a lot of historical and theoretical grounding, OP, so you’re standing in good stead.

I’d also like to add it’s also been studied and scientifically proven that after 6 hours, we have an extremely noticeable drop in productivity. Sweden saw nothing but benefits from a 6-hour work day, including worker productivity, happiness, and half the amount of sick-leave used when applied to nurses.

... the worst bit is I know several people this could be, especially given the 'in Australia' clarification

If you know them then there's a chance I might know some of them and that thought will keep me up at night.

This wasn’t the guy who we all know who used to spray his jeans with Mortein and then light himself on fire, was it?

He used to sit at the back of the bus, cup his hand, spray deodorant into it, then open it and light it on fire with a lighter in one fell swoop to try and impress girls.

He had to stop because the bus company begged our school to tell him to stop bc of legal liability. His hands never actually got damaged after doing it for about a year.

I reached out to my old friend in question here, because I've been thinking about him all day.

I do not know what "the amulet" is. I have no idea what "the amulet" is referring to.

I instantly remembered when he said that.

While we were all at the local park doing legal things that teenagers would do back in the late 2000s, my friend here found a rock at our old smoke spot that was unusually smooth and flat. He liked it so much that he took it to the woodwork classrooms at school, drilled a hole in it, and hung it on a necklace.

When we asked why he weanwearing this dinky-ass pebble on his neck, he claimed it prevented him from ever getting food-related illnesses: wouldn't get food poisoning, couldn't over-eat, was able to ingest anything (prior to him finding The Amulet, a few of us used to play a game called "Devil's Piss" where we would take turns shoving random food bits into a bottle of coke, and the first person to take a sip would get two dollars from the other players).

When we all asked him for the proof that this rock is magical—because nobody believed him, obviously—he said to meet him behind the History block at lunch, where he said he would drink two litres (or half a gallon) of milk in one go and not puke.

We met him there, and about ten of us all watched him down a whole bottle of strawberry milk in two or three breaths.

He didn't puke.

He jumped up and down and punched his stomach to prove it.

He still didn't puke.

I'm so glad I'm alive.

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