Im in that thang like Thomas The Apostle

A whaler made horn cup with a scrimshawed sperm whale. The reverse is inscripted with "J.R. BILLINGS" and a baleen whale with "1851"

A political joke for our times…

Trump is holding a meeting at the White House when the doors slam open and who should walk in but Vladimir Putin himself.

“What do you want?” says Trump.

“I have two demands,” says Putin. “First, shoot every member of the government who opposes you—every member of Congress, every political appointee, every governor, every mayor, every judge, everyone, down to the lowest level government employee. Then paint the White House green.”

“Why green?” says Trump.

Putin smiles. “I knew you wouldn’t object to my first demand.”

(This was originally a Soviet joke, or “anecdote,” in which Stalin comes back from the dead and tells the current leader of the country to purge the government and paint the Kremlin green—“Why green?” “I knew you wouldn’t object to my first demand…” It was told over multiple decades of Soviet history, just replacing the name of the current leader, until the joke even outlasted the Soviet Union itself—the latest iterations have Stalin telling Putin to execute the government, etc. It’s pretty horrific how well Soviet jokes fit our current context.)

K... K.... King!!!!

I wish I could have warm fur. Like her.

i couldnt resist her Enchanting Shape

Council of Nicea, 325 C.E.

I designed a critter 🐛

River fauna ⭐️🐟

Designs (except #3) are open for claims, dm if interested!

Horse figure of the day: Gene & Rebecca Tobey "Freedom"

It is criminal to hide this in the tags.

chose a hill but i won't die on it. feel free to come and be killed on my hill

claims a fucking machine on my disability benefits because i can't fuck or even finger myself without damaging or straight up dislocating my wrist

this is partially a joke but also it's not. it's what disability benefits are for, disabled people deserve just as much of a sex life as abled people and for lots of us we can't even jerk off when we need to because it requires aids we can't afford.

benefits are so that we can live a normal life without suffering, while non disabled people can just crank one out whenever, lots of disabled people can't. same goes for sex, we deserve to fuck like everyone else and that's why disability benefits should be used for things like sex swings or support furniture.

REMINDER TO CHECK YOUR BALLS

[Image Description: Testicular Self Exam from the Testicular Cancer Awareness Foundation. Each point is accompanied by an image of the corresponding action.

1. cup one testicle at a time using both hands, best performed during or after a warm bath or shower

2. examine by rolling the testicle between thumb and fingers, use slight pressure

3. familiarize yourself with the spermatic cord and epididymis, tube like structures that connect on the back side of each testicle

4. feel for lumps, change in size or irregularities, it is normal for one testis to be slightly larger than the other

End image description. ]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

Also check Your Tiddies!

[ID: Breast Self Exam graphic. Each point is accompanied by an image of the corresponding action. The points read:

"Once A Month, 2-3 Days After Periods", "Examine Breast And Armpit With Raised Arm", "Use Fingerpads With Massage Oil Or Shower Gel", "Up And Down", "Wedges", "Circles", "Examine Breast In The Mirror For Lumps Or Skin Dimpling", "...Change In Skin Color Or Texture", "...Nipple Deformation, Color Change Or Leaks Of Any Fluids".]

Certified Sex Ed Post!