collins trying to hide in clothes but the only way he feel calm is then he doesn't have to hide

i was blorbing with my friend so hard that i made fanart on their fic But It's Fan Book Cover But In Style Of Real Book BUT like, Specifically Soviet Geography Fiction Books with accurate Textures techniques. and a lot of gay poetic semiotic, yeah

The Terror (2018) thank you for @thesilliestpotato , potato, thank you for giving me so much I Don't Know What Even in this hard times

read the fanfic btw!

i reccommend open in better resolution for details look because this is this tasty

also will add that so much Cool Shit was not brought to the world because fat kink panic, and how absurd it is

thing i personally remember (vaguely very, so i may be mistake details but - the point is logically true anyway)

my personal memory of "a oh it's kink. nope" is va of The Duke from RE8 made some cool voice acting request, about The Duke greeting nonbinary merchant shop visitor

and i was like "holy shit this is storyboard material i am gonna draw this" aaaand

then it turned out that one who requested it had fat kink

the request was "can you make The Duke greeting nonbinary visitor". it is fucking cute. it was not human harassing va [again, i remember it like this] into " hehehehhv sluuurp can you like * smth inapropriate * ". " greeting nonbinary visitor" request, so The Duke was asking which pronounce u use or smth like this. Cutest shit

the prompt is very smart and cute idea, and damn it is very a lot of effort to make any fcking idea about The Duke i will say to u. cause capcom gave us nothing to play with, no lore, "all moments with" is 7 minutes compilation with lore being "even i dont know who i am" and easter egg

and it was so cool to have This - but then people found out about fat kink of request dude and! * gasp *

guy who wanted more content about THE DUKE from RE8 has FAT KINK? No Fucking Way, It Can't Be Omg Gasp

2 lines of canon-lore character, which entire visual presentation is "300+ killograms guy with handsome face and soothing voice, who speaks gently. also his belly is out".... we thought his fans are. like. um... not fat kinkers!!!

i mean come fucking on

and - it is always seen what is done, but we don't see what is not and it is so so much more than that. so much of important just not born

hidden in "oh i am afraid to say/draw/Like this, what if they will give me tons of hate"

can you imagine this much More that we could have. maybe You even have something of That

---

also i have something more than nonexisted The Duke greeting nonbinary visitor animatic:

in times then i practiced conversion torture on myself for fat kink thoughts, i was dreaming of

getting all in wig, spy glasses and meeting someone for stuffing session - to then go "back to life" and keep it in secret. but just trying my wish, once

then - feeling guilt of this dream. dream of horny feast with fat guy. Oh what a fucking sinner i am

now having acc on feabie i think what the actual fuck. why the fuck thing like this was forbidden in my life, in my brain

it is Fun, it is Love. It is Life

it's just fucking absurd to keep that like this, people.

---

this absurd hiding of our desires

this "hide your natural desire, give your body and your prefences and your entire life to us, one who in power, in controll. desires? it is chaos. be in cage. it's order. that is easier to controll rivers of money to our pockets and that's all we care about. your body, choices, even in love - nothing should be out of our controll".

our absurd "yes" to that?

fuck it fuck it fuck it

No to cages, yes to Life

I think world is ready (and in need) for fat queer old vampire woman as romancable character in datesim

so there she is in

My Rose Will Be My Grave but Who Said It Is Cold To Sleep In The Coffin - rebellious vampire date sim in development

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meet Silvi Pike. you could saw her and other characters in halloween promo

look for posts about the game: promo art, devlogs, etc in #mrwbmg tag

hi hello!

i definitelly feel much better!

don't want to make another long philosophy post - i have so much of it nowadays

rn i have chances of rest, and i catch these glimpses of peace and positivity - like sun light in winter days, which i try to catch and it motivates me wake up early

and this post - positive, lovely, 10/10 mail doves out of 10

so thank you! send you lovely mail dove back!

My Rose Will Be My Grave but Who Said It Is Cold to Sleep In The Coffin

- devlog update with prototype game scenes

posted on my instagramm

(damn it, how to post videos to tumblr normally???)

What can be better start of new year, than update on vampire datesim with fat queer disabled characters, made by anticapitalistic activist?

the activist in question is a bit of homeless, but it also adds a bit of spice - and giving chance to tell people truth about homeless life

here for example i tell, that basic things of life - like making soup can be surprisingly more challenging, than making a game

made post with important win of the year in instagramm, will take it here too as most of updates about situation were here

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instagramm post text:

[just a bit in the end added, insta didn't let me add 5 lines poem cause letters limit 😔]

i am, disabled person, was mercury-poisoned by man who try to avoid responsibility for this - and i survived it, which would be win of the year already

but it was fight: his sword was manipulations, and mine was Heart, which makes it one of my Personal wins

---

the guy makes shady deals with rent and hide it with wild aftermaths

he, the host of place, renting himself, and then give beds for overprice. at same time he made it into "colliving" - format of housing with public events (so its like loft) + hostel (so people live in). events with random people at "your home" is promoting as "cool feature" of renting a bed there. events entry are often for "donations" with fixated minimum price.

all it wrapped as "progressive commune" being just another whites capitalism sht

the host guy hides fact of people living there: hides this adress in event posters, especially hided all this from locals

including preventing access of emergency medical help to the house

---

so then old type mercury thermometer blasted near room i was living, instead of caring about health of people - the host guy was caring about keep hiding

in house chat message appeared, that its "nothing to worry about" and everything is cleaned and under control - which was lie

i got mercury poisoning symptoms

---

first metal taste, everything metal in mouth. food taste like iron, water tasted gasoline and - gasoline-like liquid in mouth

then i couldn't sleep for 3 days and 3 nights in a row because epilepsy seizures in my head started to give metal clink effect in addition to stress seizures

i ended up in hospital - but even there instead of help i got violation of my rights

First time in my life i was very close to Stroke Faint, convulsions started - never had thing like this before

---

In hospital I got epilepsy pills, warm water and better treatment only after posts about situation was noticed by activists and they made a call to hospital

I was released and not tortured because of the call too

---

And all this time that guy lying to everyone around - making me the bad one, to avoid aftermaths

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p.s. oh, i forgot of course to say thank you all!!!! you LITERALLY saved me - this story being posted here was in fact my key to surviving

sorry, i was writing this all day fitting all this in instagramm letters limit so forgot aaa-

of course i wanted to say BIGGEST thank you - to people here, who supported me, wrote letters to clinic (bitches were probably horrified to get letters in english lol); biggest thank you for supporting by messages, kind words and even donations and supporting posts

and big big thank you to person who managed to take this situation to right defending organization - i got in hospital and better treatment i got only after organization gave a call to hospital: finally getting my epilepsy pills instead of "its everyone epileptic here!" "you don't have epilepsy!" "don't think of bad, god will help you!" after me hours trying to explain i am having epilepsy stroke

also i was saved literally from medical tortures thanks to the call - i heard the talk of nurse talking on phone about me, me managing to take photoes, and injections with strong effects; which was not used on me - instead later director of clinic came and said that Some Right Defending organization made a call, and Suddenly i started to get better treatment

i don't know if its comfortable or safe to tag anyone specifically here, but - THANK YOU! thank you all for support and saving me

---

heart let to violence far so much it's rotten - run path from it is long ago forgotten

and Heart of Fire does not know defeat

noone can fight thing Life itself Ignited to the Beat

because if even body storing Heart of Fire

gone

it still forever will Ignite and Burn in new, and new forever of new Born

health advice: if you are chronic fatigue vampire poet in your late 30's try to chill in garden with calm lovely dilf vampire who remember your poems better than you. study shows it same effect as massage

Characters from my datesim My Rose Will Be My Grave But Who Said It is Cold to Sleep In the Coffin

in active development! here is post with more characters

Fire Hearts portrait series - Dr. Joel Bervell, The Medical Mythbuster

@ joelbervell on insta

Knowledge he bring out of the hidden is Life Saving. Literally - in one of his speeches he told story about a woman who was moved up five years on the kidney transplantant list, after she showed her doctor Joel's videos about GFR equation - a formula for kidney function measurement.

I can't imagine how it is to be black student, and then doctor learning everyday things like that. But Joel Bervell - found Brave in his Heart to not only learn about things like this, but ripping it out of hidden, from such deep shades as medicine devices code and formulas - and, fighting it

And that makes his Heart truly Powerfull

*** Fire Hearts is portrait series, depicting people with Hearts most Powerful - as they keep Strive for Kindness as a beat in hardest times

good news - i feel better and can draw, usual news: it's still me and i can't be normal

a bit spoilers of historical art in question

also i need to edit my wips of game dev of date sim - i didn't stop working on it and at this stage i am already finishing main mechanics + have late-test graphic. my phone is just too broken for quick edits about it lol

so yeah, update is: nwarrior777 the artist is doing art. horey!

yeah, i am slowly getting back to commissions!

yesterday i get my drawing tablet back (it was at house which i left because of poisoning to search for med help) - today will try to draw again finally!!!

so yes, if you wanted commissions - dm!