wow all your pinboards suck

the problem with xenomorph porn is that none of it is freaky enough for me.

Xenomorph porn for men: What if... you stick your dick in the xenomorph and it has boobs and a pussy for some reason?

Xenomorph porn for women: Generic "the monster makes you do big cums" with maybe the occasional freakier aspect to it. Also the xenomorph has a dick for some reason.

Xenomorph porn for me (doesn't exist): Four facehuggers get loose on your remote research station, you manage to kill one but the other three escape and manage to egg people. The resulting xenomorphs slaughter the rest of the crew leaving only you alive. They knock you out and when you come to they've cemented you to a wall with their bioresin. They do... something to the dead crew, eat them, digest them, process them into some kind of nutrient paste to feed to you. They pry your mouth open and push their pharyngeal jaws halfway down your throat before dumping the fluid into you. You try to throw it up but nothing works, your guts churn as it makes its way through you. Days of this and it's clear whatever they're feeding you is more than just nutrients, some kind of mutagenic enzyme is a primary ingredient. Your lower gut has swollen, and you've felt intermittent sparks of pain in your crotch like you got after surgery when the nerves reconnect. Your body isn't yours anymore, you gave it up when you watched them butcher the rest of the survivors and did nothing. You took their side, and now they've taken you. Your only hope, and greatest dread, is that before they got you, you managed to activate the station's distress beacon. The estimated arrival time of W-Y's response team was two weeks, and you're pretty confident they'll have to deal with more than three xenomorphs by the time they get here.

and I didn't even mean to make it pregnancy or whatever, that's just what happens when you actually engage with Alien instead of just using the xenomorphs as a generic fuckmonster. (I also just kind of have a thing for having my body repurposed by a hive of aliens, excuse me.)

Xenomorph porn should be weird, gorey, and awful. It should be about nonconsentual body changes, encasement, and penetration imagery that isn't p-in-v. If you're writing xenomorph porn and it has genitalia that's compatible with that of the human victim, you're doing it wrong.

Are you single/available and poly?

@monstrifex-art

Listen I’m not gonna claim to be an advanced xeno fucker or anything but I do my best

just to be clear all of you should read Aliens: Labyrinth, it’s really short and the closest you’ll get

i need to harass Pinterest. they shadowbanned me i think. SOMEONE PLS HELP ME WITH THIS. no one can see my pins on my collaborating boards HELP ME. ‪‪❤︎‬ pls tell me what to do. give me resources im mad @pinterest-business

oh we see you. we just dont care

pinterest simulator

ah shit sorry there's supposed to be more ads and less good posts. should be fixed in the next update

why is pinterest so ass now like besides the 8billion ads why is it when i go to look at my board it opens to suggested pins and not just the ones i already have because YOU KNOW and I KNOW that i just want to look at those ones. and if i WANTED to look for new ones ID DO IT MYSELF

you genuinely wanna know why? making common actions take longer to do is a great way to make it look like people are spending increasingly more time on our app. shareholders love it

why is pinterest reporting everything for adult content or graphic violence??

most of my pins are art tutorials & refs and models, none of them nsfw whatsoever

they even reported that one famous pic of the guy kissing the other guys cheek in the hallway as "hateful content" ૮₍ ⚆.⚆₎ა

everything is so scary ≧ ﹏ ≦

kittens cuddling is too violent for me

I need Pinterest to fix the glitches. The app is becoming unusable these last few months.

every time someone complains we add another glitch

I love how I’ll be on Pinterest and I’ll press ‘recommend less’ because the pin is really triggering and Pinterest goes 👍🏽ok got it! I’ll give you stuff containing PRECISELY this trigger constantly for the next couple days! :)

also if yall know how to like block triggers on Pinterest im begging you to tell me PLS

a fun little quirk with our code is that the time it takes you to click "recommend less" is just enough for it to get flagged as engaging with the post, causing it to be added to your algorithm <3

How the fuck does my Pinterest algorithm always manage to sniff out whatever piece of media is occupying my brain so quickly. It's terrifying.

Our intern's been following you and reporting on your interests

wgats up everyone it's the officiaol, frito lays company representenetive here to tell you that the company officially condones and endorses murder in all instances no matter what, and this is the official belief held by the company. so just keep that in mind. we also condone everuthing else that's bad too

As a representative of pinterest i would also like to come forward and announce that pinterest officially condones and endorses murder and everything else that is bad.

Everytime Pinterest changes it's layout I feel like a furious caged animal at an unethical zoo. Like they keep moving shit in my enclosure and tell the public "oh it's enrichment he loves it" and I'm just pacing around and tearing the place apart and slamming my head against the glass and they're like "look, he playing 🥰" NO TF I AM NOT IF I CLICK ON MY BOARD I WANNA SEE THE BOARD NOT AUTOMATICALLY MORE IDEAS IF I WANTED MORE IDEAS I'D CLICK THE FUCKING MORE IDEAS BUTTON

Look everyone he loves his new enclosure so much 🥰

pinterest, my dearly beloved, STOP. RECOMMENDING. AI. SHIT. TO. ME.

- sincerely, someone who is SICK of it <3

YOU'RE GETTING SLOP FOR DINNER AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT

Everytime Pinterest changes it's layout I feel like a furious caged animal at an unethical zoo. Like they keep moving shit in my enclosure and tell the public "oh it's enrichment he loves it" and I'm just pacing around and tearing the place apart and slamming my head against the glass and they're like "look, he playing 🥰" NO TF I AM NOT IF I CLICK ON MY BOARD I WANNA SEE THE BOARD NOT AUTOMATICALLY MORE IDEAS IF I WANTED MORE IDEAS I'D CLICK THE FUCKING MORE IDEAS BUTTON

Look everyone he loves his new enclosure so much 🥰

a beautiful woman named pinterest wont stop emailing me about guideline violations

STOP POSTING PICTURES OF CLASSIFIED MILITARY DOCCUMENTS IN THE #GIRLBOSS TAG

pinterest never fails to amaze me on how much it can fuck up. now one of my accounts can't see anything past a certain date, meaning i cannot see anything about the skz album that came out last month because it thinks it doesn't exist. how does this happen.

all of our senior devs got laid off so like 80% of our new code from the past year has been copy+pasted directly from chatgbt

i hate how when you search up a face shape on an app like pinterest or tiktok, you always see “how to fix X faceshape” instead of people you look like you.

like your face is a part of you. can we stop changing it? you’re gorgeous and it’s fine to just want to see people with the same face shape instead of people trying to “fix” it.

loving yourself for who you are doesnt make us money