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little chili babies

@pensivetense / pensivetense.tumblr.com

[Pen | xe, he, or it | not a minor]
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Eowyn/Faramir was one of the first ships I was truly obsessed with, and am still obsessed with. Faramir has lived the past year of his life in the shadow of the Nazgul, burdened by grief, fighting a desperate war that knows he's going to lose, hating that he has to fight at all but still doing it to protect his men (many of whom will die anyway), to obey his father (who doesn't love him), to defend his city (which is probably doomed.) He bears up heroically under his burden, he doesn't have illusions, he tolerates hopelessness so well that he's not even tempted by the ring: if no actions can avert the inevitable destruction, he might as well act righteously. He holds up under the burden, and he holds others upright as well, but it's sickening him, and the sickening dread that he fights every day has a voice and shape, black wings in the sky.

And then Eowyn shows up having killed one of those.

Imagine waking up in a hospital bed. There's a girl in the room next to yours who keeps arguing with the nurses and trying to check herself out of the hospital even though she's got so many broken bones and just generally looks half dead. There's a security guard on her door because she's an obvious flight risk. You ask another patient who's well enough to walk around how she ended up in there and he tells you she killed depression. Not all depression, but the big one, the King Depression, definitely. She stabbed it in the face.

The funniest death of the author I've witnessed in my years of fandom remains Rusty Quill repeatedly going "it's spelled John" and like 95% of the fans being like

I love Obi Wan because he’s such a fuddy duddy but he’s also batshit insane. Jumps out of a 100 story window directly into space traffic but also grumbles about hating flying every time he does it and absolutely needs reading glasses I can just feel it. Incredible combo

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I'm here for Alastor's genuine villain arc in this story but I hope Emily risking her life to save him really fucks him up lol

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Shock.wav calling Vox "father" and "daddy" will never not be funny to me.

Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. "Congratulations, Jeff!" he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life telling shitty jokes on Tumblr!" 

"Well," Jeff replied, "at least I'm not an adult living in my father's basement."

When I was drunk one night and watching the Jellyfish livestream, I reached out to the Monterey Bay Aquarium with a dumb question about their jellyfish... And they actually emailed me back.

(yes, these are actually my own screenshots, I am in tears laughing)

DO YOUR ANIMAL EXPERTS HAVE TO UNTANGLE THE JELLYFISH

AND THE ANSWER IS FUCKING YES, THE JELLIES GET TANGLED SOMETIMES LMAO

brain, heart: idiot bitches who never know what they want

stomach, genitals: idiot bitches who know exactly what they want and never shut up about it

lungs, kidneys, liver: pretty chill organs, all told. if these ones are complaining then i'm usually the one who fucked up

You don’t wanna know what happens when your kidneys are idiot bitches.

Appendix: the Unabomber

Something I've gathered, is that almost everyone seems to think they only have a "necessary" number of shoes; however, everyone has a DRASTICALLY different idea of what that is.

For purposes of this post, I'm defining "shoe" as "footwear you'd wear outside the house", and "actually used" as "something you've worn within the past month, and/or that you expect to wear again within a year".

Reblog with how many pairs of shoes you have that are actually used, and what they are.

For me, it's a pair of steel-toed shoes that are what I normally wear when I have to wear shoes; sandals; running shoes; and winter boots. So, four pairs. (Plus there's the old worn-out stuff that I just keep in the closet because I'm allergic to throwing things away if it's still vaguely functional, but that's why I specified "actually used".)

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