Avatar

phrenic-a

@phrenic-a

phrenic: of or relating to the diaphragm,
which used to be where people thought the brain was stored. As a result, phrenic was an old word meaning "intellectual". It also sound like panic, which is the constant state of a modern intellectual. she/her/hers

recently learned about a horticultural technique called Espalier, it’s the funniest goddamn thing i’ve ever seen.

Espalier allows trees to be trained into 2-dimensions, by tying the branches to a flat surface as the tree grows. They literally flatten the tree. They make the tree flat. Flat tree!!!

Look at this. This is objectively hilarious:

And people get fancy about it. Look at this nonsense:

(the first one’s called a Belgian Fence, and can be used as an actual fence)

Espalier is actually a very useful technique for

  • increasing fruit yield
  • gardening is small spaces
  • maximizing or minimizing sunlight (since the branches all face the same direction) and therefore extending the growing season

Like. this is a legitimately practical gardening method. but it looks like they squished a tree between the pages of a book. just squashed it flat like a sad little dried flower! i could use these trees as a bookmark!!!

But yes, it is also a healthy and clever way to grow lots of fruit in small spaces, in climates they might not otherwise be suited for. I’m still going to make fun of it, but it honestly looks delightful and delicious.

Espalier!

Flat tree/flattery puns GO GO GO

Avatar
Reblogged

saw an opinion i disagreed with and didn’t say anything about it. +350XP

typed out a whole response and then took a deep breath and deleted it. +2000XP +500G

Typed out a whole response, posted it, and the person agreed I was right +8000XP +1000G (GOLDEN ENDING UNLOCKED)

Avatar
deactivated

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

this is not a place of honor

first rule of fandom is everything goes back to destiel

second rule of fandom is everything goes back to kirk/spock

third rule of fandom is everything goes back to holmes & watson

fourth rule of fandom is everything goes back to achilles & patroclus

the funny thing is. I originally typed out "fifth rule of fandom is everything goes back to gilgamesh & enkidu" but then I thought 'no, I can't trust that people will be familiar with the epic of gilgamesh'

I should have known. nerd ass website.

Avatar
knittinggiantbeanies
Avatar
knittinggiantbeanies

Why Do You Need To Do This

Avatar
knittinggiantbeanies

STOP THIS.

Avatar
knittinggiantbeanies

Judy there are limits

Avatar
jigoku-nozomi
Avatar
princessdawnauroreon

Here are my contributions

Avatar
melancholy-starlight

hello, i am the top secret replier! well done for finding me - you may never see me again!

REBLOG OF SHAME since the replies are turned off D:

🦵🦵🦵

Avatar
Reblogged

The camera cutting to Ally and Zac making eye contact and giggling as not only herstory is referenced by also the "the doctor is the mother" riddle is peak editing.

Cis-her Gal-a-them Adventuring Party, you will always be famous <3

CIS-HER GALA-THEM

At a conference/festival last year, there was a Shibari workshop on the schedule for some reason, although the topic of the event was prediction markets. This led to the following exchange (all names changed):

Adam (who at the time was basically a stranger to me): Hmm, "Shibari"... What is that, some kind of Jewish ritual?
Me: No, it's-
Barbara: EVERYONE SHUT UP! Ok. Nobody tell this man what shibari is.
Everyone: ...?
Barbara: We’re playing 20 questions.

Thus began what was by far the best game of 20 questions I have ever witnessed. There were... appreciably more than 20 questions.

[literally ten minutes of questions later]

Adam: Ok, so! Shibari... is a Japanese social export, it's an activity somebody does, it's in some way artistic, it does not involve drawing, it does not involve writing, it involves an inorganic object and an organic object, and... the organic object is a human, right?
Everyone: Right
Adam: And the inorganic object...
Barbara: Well...
Chris: The inanimate object
Adam: The inanimate object, which, oh, which is organic, which suggests that it's clothes... Is the inanimate object clothing?
Everyone: No
Me: To clarify, the inanimate object is always organic in terms of 'organic chemistry', but might or might not be, like, made from biological material
Adam: Ok. And so, you have an inanimate object, and you have a person... The person does not have to do anything during the... shibari activity. You are doing a manipulation to the inanimate object, with the person, for purposes that are fun... Is it for the entertainment of a group?
Barbara: Could be? ...
Adam: So it could be for the entertainment of a group, but it could be for the entertainment of the individuals?
Everyone: Right
Adam: Ok. The inanimate object - the equipment - right? It is not specialised, but is a common object, correct?
Everyone: yeah

AI

Adam: Does it have anything at all to do with AI?
Everyone: [laughter] No
Adam: I had to check. In this setting, everything turns back to AI at some point
Me: I would say no
Frank: Not yet!
Me: Right, not yet. But yeah, 'No' is definitely the answer to that one
George: I trust Rob Miles on this
Barbara: As an expert in shibari?
Frank: As an expert in AI Shibari. I think that's what it's called.
Chris: Oh, yeah it kind of is!

Can one shibari by accident?

Adam: Ok. Is it something that one might do without knowing that it is shibari?
Everyone: [cacophony of disagreement]
Me: Interesting question!
Frank: Very interesting question.
Barbara: It's totally plausible that someone would do something that would qualify as shibari without knowing the Japanese artform
Me: Yeah, and they might also have seen things about it but not know the name of it

Chatting during shibari

Adam: Does it involve talking?
Everyone: No, not necessarily
Adam: God Dammit. Agh, I thought it might be... talking using some prop or something
Barbara: For me it always involves talking, but it's...
Adam: One doesn't have to?
Barbara: It's just 'cause I don't stop talking
[laughter]
Adam: And it doesn't involve betting markets in any way?
Everyone: No

How technologically advanced is shibari equipment?

Adam: Ok. Is the object technologically difficult to make?
Everyone: No
One guy: Yes
Everyone: What? No it isn't!
Adam: Is it only available in an industrialised economy?
Everyone: No
That one guy again: Yes!
Everyone: NO!!!
The guy: No, you're right, I'm sorry... But it is difficult to make
George: Every object is difficult to make!
Barbara: Maybe you're confused about what shibari is
Ed: Yeah, you should be up there with Adam
Adam: Would it have been available before industrialisation?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Ok. Um... is it a stick?
Everyone: It's not a stick

No cheap tricks allowed

Adam: I feel like I'm gonna get close to covering everything...
Me: I feel like we were very close just now, when you were like "Well what could this object be?"
Adam: Ok so the object is important. It's... before industrialisation... Does it begin with a letter before-
Everyone: No, no, we're not doing that. N/A
Adam: Ok so it starts with an N and an A...
[laughter]

What is this dang object?

Adam: Ok... so... is the object artificially pigmented?
Everyone: Can be, but not necessarily
Adam: Is it commonly painted?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it commonly dyed?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Ok, is it something that it's very common to dye in other purposes?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Does it involve a vegetable, of some kind?
Everyone: ...No?
Adam: Does it involve a plant?
Everyone: [confusion about what 'involve' means]
George: The object can have... some relation to a plant
Me: eehhh, that's more confusing than helpful. We already said that it can be biologically derived
Adam: But it would have been available before industrialisation?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: So it's got to be something that is... around. Is it something that requires human modification to make into the form we know and love?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Uh.. does this processing require specialised skill?
Everyone: Yeah, some skill for sure
Adam: Would I be able to do it? Like, without training?
Everyone: Probably not
Ed: On a long enough time horizon you'd figure it out, but the answer is basically no
Adam: Like, you throw me in with the tools to make it and say "come out in an hour", could I...
Everyone: No, probably not
Adam: But other people would be able to make it in an hour?
Everyone: Yeah, with the right skills

It’s not a weapon

Adam: Does it involve a weapon of any kind?
Everyone: No.
George: How creative are you allowed to-
Everyone: The answer's no

What shape is the object?

[long pause]
Adam: Well... does anyone else have any questions?
Barbara: You're asking such good questions though!
Ed: Yeah you're doing a good job
Danielle: I think you should ask more questions about the shape of the object
Everyone: Oh, great suggestion
Adam: Ok, is it spherical?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it cylindrical?
Everyone: Yyeeaahh, sort of, yeah.
Adam: So it's not a pure cylinder but it's cylindrical-ish?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Is it an ovaloid?
Everyone: No.
Adam: Is it an ellipsoid?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it uh... hmm... But it's longer than it is wide?
Everyone: Yes!!!
[scattered applause, we're close now]
Adam: Is it a plank of wood?
Everyone: No!!!
Barbara: It still isn't that!
Frank: No, his previous guess was stick
Adam: Yeah, a plank of wood requires processing and I couldn't make it... like it fits a lot of the other questions
Barbara: No you're right, that's fair, I'm convinced. It is a plank of wood.

Where is the object?

Adam: Could I find it inside a building or outside a building?
Everyone: Yes...
Adam: Wait. I mean. Ok, can you find it in a bathroom?
Everyone: Not really
Adam: Can you find it in a kitchen?
Everyone: Probably not
Adam: Can you find it lying on the ground?
Everyone: Yeah possibly
Adam: Is it something that people commonly use?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Is it something that people would pick up if they saw it lying there?
Everyone: Nah

It’s really not a weapon

Adam: Is it something that is dangerous at all?
Everyone: Can be, but not especially
Adam: Is any part of it sharp?
Everyone: No
Adam: Can any part of it fragment?
Everyone: [???]
Adam: Like, is it brittle?
Everyone: No
Adam: So it's firm?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it flexible?
Everyone: Yes!!
Adam: Ok! Is it a pool noodle?
Everyone: [laughter]
Adam: Which is cylindrical, flexible, and organic, dyed but not painted...
Everyone: No, we're so proud of you, you're doing great
Me: But we did say "pre-industrial"

Pinning down the object

Adam: Ok ok. Is it a solid?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Is it any of the solid hybrids, like a colloid or a gel?
Everyone: No
Adam: Does it retain its shape after being bent?
Everyone: Uh... yes?
Adam: So it doesn't spring back with any force?
Everyone: No, it doesn't spring back
Adam: Ok... so... Is it Japanese in origin, or is it found around the world?
Everyone: [assorted contradictory statements]
Me: The origin of the practice is Japan, but the origin of the object is all over
Adam: Is the object put on a person?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Is the object... um... is the object rope?
Everyone: YES!!
[scattered applause]
Me: The object is rope!
Adam: Ok!
Me: Now bring it home

Bringing it home?

Adam: Are things hung upon the rope?
Everyone: Uuuuummmmmm. Ambiguous? No.
Adam: Is the rope itself... does the rope look good?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Ok! Is this putting-on... a mark of esteem?
Everyone: No?? ???
[laughter]
Adam: So the object is a rope, and you're putting the rope on somebody
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: You're... putting rope on somebody!
Everyone: Yeah!
Adam: Is that... is that not the practice?
Everyone: No, no, it is, it is!
[confused cheering. Are we done?]

We’re not done

Chris: But, no, come on, there's more to it!
Ed: You're missing something critical!
Chris: You're so close!
Adam: Ok. Do you... hang someone?
Everyone: [strongly conflicting opinions]
Barbara: Only if you're doing it extremely wrong
Adam: Ok. But you can tie knots?
Everyone: YES!
Adam: Ok! Do you tie... is it a bracelet of some-
Everyone: No!
Adam: So it's not an adornment of any kind...
Everyone: Well...

Where on the body?

Adam: Is it put on your neck?
Chris: No
Danielle: Well, can be...
Adam: On your head?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On a limb?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: It's on a limb
Me: Not exclusively
Adam: On an arm?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On a leg?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On... uh... I've run out of limbs...

What does it mean?

Adam: Ok, it's rope, you put it on somebody, it's Japanese in origin... does it... signify something?
Everyone: Not really
Adam: Hmm. Do you tie the rope in a loop?
Everyone: ...Yeah??
Adam: I'm wondering, is it the casting of ropes upon people, like uh...
Chris: It's not a lasso, no
Frank: I like the idea of shibari as, like, a carnival game...
Barbara: I'm unclear on what the win condition is here...
Ed: I feel like there is a really important component that we haven't got yet
Everyone: Yeah, when he gets that component, he’s won

Are people into shibari?

Adam: Hmm... Did you find yourself fired by enthusiasm to do it upon being told about it?
Several people: Yes
Me: Personally no, but...
[laughter]
Adam: So it has mixed appeal?
Barbara: That is absolutely correct

Can one shibari... too hard?

Adam: Is it um, does it involve the tying of knots?
Everyone: YES
Adam: Ok. Are there knots that are peculiar to shibari?
Everyone: yeah
Adam: Is the learning of knots, or the tying of knots upon other people the important part?
Everyone: Uh... yes?
Adam: Do you tie someone up and they attempt to escape?
Everyone: Uh, not necessarily, but like, often.
Me: Yes is closer than no, I think
Adam: Ok, you tie rope on someone. Do you have to use some sort of special rope for it? Can you use any rope?
Barbara: You can use any rope, but some are better than others
Adam: So you wouldn't want to use any rough ropes, or...
Danielle: No, you do, that's actually preferred
Adam: You prefer rough ropes?
Chris: Some do
Frank: It depends
Danielle: Natural fibers tend to be rougher
Adam: Does it chafe?
Danielle: It can, but ideally not
Adam: Would you do it even if you were injured in the process of doing it?
Frank: No
Barbara: You would not want that to happen generally
Adam: Uh... Does it look cool?
Everyone: Yes!!

Origami?

Adam: So you're tying knots that look cool... is it like an origami for knots?
Everyone: [confused disagreement]
Ed: It's not about the knots
Chris: It's totally about the knots!
Frank: It's all about the cones...
Adam: Like, in origami you fold paper in ways that look cool, maybe you tie knots in ways that look cool?
Everyone: [loud disagreement]

Diagnosing the problem

[long long pause]
Chris: Ask the question in your heart!
Adam: ...Neckties?
Everyone: No?
Barbara: I keep thinking "But, he already has it", and then he asks a question that makes me say "No, he doesn't have it at all"
Frank: I think there's a question you want to ask, but you're not...
Everyone: Yeah
Chris: Yeah, ask the question that you don't want to ask
Danielle: I don't think he has the question...
Adam: Would it cause any gratification in someone?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Would it... Would it cause sexual gratification?
Everyone: Yes!!
Adam: Is it a practice... under the category of kink?
Everyone: Yes!!!
Adam: Is it tying somebody up for bondage purposes?
Everyone: YEAH!!! [Pandemonium, hollering, applause, Adam is lifted above the cheering crowd]

After the hearty congratulations were done, I wandered off, elated from the experience, and I bumped into a group of friends.

"Friends!" I said, "I just had the funniest experience. This guy didn't know what 'shibari' was, so we-"

"Shibari?" a friend interjected, "What is that, like, a Jewish building?"

"OK EVERYONE SHUT UP" I said.

I feel like it's a really common trope to have a non-biological entity disgusted by squishy bio things like secretions and flesh and stuff but. Wouldn't they utterly lack revulsion to those things? The reason we are repulsed by things like blood and shit and corpses is because they are intimately connected to our bodies, are uncomfortable reminders of our animal mortality, can be vectors of harm, or are a signal of danger. A being made of energy, metal, or plastic does not have the same sympathetic connections to these things that we do, except as a kind of intellectual sympathy for what people they care about fear. Disgust is repulsive, and you can only repel something if it's close to you. I think the things that viscerally repel a non-biological mind are not going to be biological.

Hmm... Maybe not as extreme as a corpse, but if you handed someone composed of mostly metal an extremely corroded piece of copper, I could see them reacting like you just handed them a very moldy orange.

To reach "handed a decomposing roadkill squirrel" level, maybe give them something with identifiable parts similar to what is in their body, like corroded circuit boards, batteries, wire connectors. That's a more direct reminder of mortality.

Sponsored

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.