They were playing music out loud. I hate that. I asked them to stop. They didn't. "Fuck it", I think, and decide to choose violence. I move nearer them, remove my own headphones and start doing Duolingo Greek, which I know from experience is extremely irritating to be around. I figure anyone else nearby is already annoyed and I can't make it worse
But then I ran out of hearts. And I wasn't finished with violence yet, so I decided to turn on my own music.
"What are you doing" say the youths. I shrug.
The youths begin to bop along ironically.
"They hate this," I think. "I am winning."
"Hang on," says a youth. "What is that."
I realise something is going wrong but not what to do about it. "It's Italian," I mutter
"Oh shit. This goes hard actually," says a youth, whose bopping along no longer appears to be ironic "Is that rap? There's Italian rap? Whoa. Took me a second"
"What's it about?" says another youth.
My inner Public Transport Etiquette Absolutist and my inner Italian Music Evangelist are now at war. Fatally poised to decide the balance is the fact that I am a middle aged woman who has just had her musical tastes flattered by Youths.
"It's called Arresto Cardiaco, which obviously means cardiac arrest, and it's about a panic attack," I say. They lean over to peer at my phone.
"He must have some bad panic attacks," says the first youth thoughtfully.
"Maybe he gets them all the time," agrees another.
Somewhere along the way, and I realise I don't know when it happened, they turned off their own music and are now bopping along to mine.
I can't bring myself to turn it off.
Other passengers stare at me with open loathing. They are right to do so.
I literally could not beat them and I accidentally joined them. I am sorry.