Submitted by @priestessofnunni | Also want to skip the line?

I've withheld like a whole folder full of video-ideas, scripts with thousands of words and half edited videos for like two years. I wonder if I'd finally be brave enough to post some of them. It's just that I feel like all of the fandoms they are about are so intimidating and well... they all have their conservative, normative and "canon" obsessed fanbases... From what i've seen through the years, lurking around the internet.

This is about the Elder Scrolls, the Witcher and Supernatural mainly.

I have this conflict about them all. The nuances are different with each of these fandoms but the crux of my inscurity is the same, if that makes any sense. I have a lot to say, but I'm not sure if I should...

I'm also afraid my experience is "too different" from the fandoms'. I rarely have engaged with anyone in the communities in general, so I feel like I lack something, because my experience about everything is usually just experiencing something blind, drawing my own conclusions and maybe years down the line talking about it in depth with one person, and that's it xDD

And then when I read some posts or comments from a platform that is not tumblr I'm hit with the realisation that I'm not sure if my interpretation is valid after all. Which is weird, because why wouldn't it be?

My dog's really a study in Buddhism. He can see my muffin wrapper and he's miserable. Crying. He needs to eat my muffin wrapper so bad.

I get up and throw it away. He forgets about it immediately and happily goes to sleep.

You are not sad because you do not have a muffin wrapper, my beautiful boy, you are sad because you want the muffin wrapper.

I always refer to one of my cats as my Lacanian kitty. She will meow incredibly insistently for something, and once it is given to her, she will look at it briefly, decide she dgaf, and continue to demand something. Nothing existing could ever satisfy her desire because it is a metonymic manifestation of a lack that is inherent to the structure of her being, she is not asking for my sandwich, she is asking for something else via sandwich, and once proven that the sandwich isn't that something else she will desire another thing in the same vain hope.

I've had unbelievably shitty summer/time in general. It includes an exchange gone terribly wrong, me getting stranded in Iceland, lot's of discrimination, me putting my studies on pause for like a year and me staying in Helsinki for the forseeable future because the last thing I want to do is to go back to my old apartment... :) ✌

Still can't believe the United States of America can decide who can go to Canada... I still feel absurd and like my life just came to a screeching halt. I have so many questions that so far have been and probably will be left unanswered.

Why am I on no-fly list? Why is it affecting my travelling even if I'm not going to or from USA? And if that affects everything why is there no warning that you should get a permission to fly somewhere from the US government? I mean if you are not blacklisted then you would not even question it. You'd just not think about it, I guess. You'd just assume the person not authorised to go somewhere must be because they have not done some paperwork correctly, or that they must have done something criminal and wrong. At least that is what many people have assumed before I get to speak.

This has kind of fucked with the paranoia I've always had. Have I done something wrong and not even realised it? Is it because of my online footprint? Connections? Ethnicity? Queerness? Occultism? Leftist politics?

Something to think about. And there is always more, but I don't know who to talk about this with... I feel weird.

Weird and alone, in a way that has solidified the fears I had growing up. Except the fear is gone and is replaced by sadness of the realisation that my anxieties are coming to fruition.

I've had unbelievably shitty summer/time in general. It includes an exchange gone terribly wrong, me getting stranded in Iceland, lot's of discrimination, me putting my studies on pause for like a year and me staying in Helsinki for the forseeable future because the last thing I want to do is to go back to my old apartment... :) ✌

Still can't believe the United States of America can decide who can go to Canada... I still feel absurd and like my life just came to a screeching halt. I have so many questions that so far have been and probably will be left unanswered.

Why am I on no-fly list? Why is it affecting my travelling even if I'm not going to or from USA? And if that affects everything why is there no warning that you should get a permission to fly somewhere from the US government? I mean if you are not blacklisted then you would not even question it. You'd just not think about it, I guess. You'd just assume the person not authorised to go somewhere must be because they have not done some paperwork correctly, or that they must have done something criminal and wrong. At least that is what many people have assumed before I get to speak.

This has kind of fucked with the paranoia I've always had. Have I done something wrong and not even realised it? Is it because of my online footprint? Connections? Ethnicity? Queerness? Occultism? Leftist politics?

Something to think about. And there is always more, but I don't know who to talk about this with... I feel weird.

Ugh I'm feeling very sick and my head is throbbing.

Ugh I'm feeling somewhat healthy and my cock is throbbing.

(Opens ao3)

Submitted by @snowieu | Also want to skip the line?