DS, switch.......does nintendo want to tell us something?

The message for the DS was pretty clear, touching is good.

Interaction witnessed at post office today:

Elderly lady mail clerk and young customer are chatting. Customer says, "oh! I'm wearing my boss's coat right now, give me something weird to put in the pocket!" Others within earshot all start looking for something because, hey, important quest. Mail clerk finally reaches under counter, pulls out a large roll of labels, and tears one off.

Twas this

oh god, this reminds me of a story my mother has. flashback to the 80s. cocaine's kind of a problem, especially exportation of it from several south american countries. my whole family's from one of those countries, for context. so, my mother's cousin goes back and forth between the US and these countries for his job, and one of his friends asks if he can take a package on a flight and get it to her family in the US. sure, he agrees, not thinking much of it. he gets the package, gets to the airport, and hesitates. going through customs with an unknown package when you're from a country the fbi has some, uh, feelings about. so he goes into the bathroom and takes a look.

white powder. it's white powder. oh god, he thinks, what the fuck. like any experienced third world man he's certain if he turns it over to the cops they'll pin it on him to get the reward for turning in a narco, and he doesn't want to get his friend in trouble, of course. so he just…tips it into the toilet he's sitting on and flushes it.

a few weeks later he gets a collect call from his friend. "hey, did you ever get the ashes to my family?"

"…what?"

"yeah, the package i gave you, their mother's ashes."

the moral of the story is, the cremated remains sticker is a wonderful invention and you should not send unlabeled white powder across international borders

lying on the bed and kicking my feet, giggling and twirling my hair, etc. remembering how he earnestly tried to warn me that he could be "a sicko or something" - "a real pervert"

The Canterbury Tales (1972) dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini

still have worms!

as in, my compost

but I'll take a heartworm pill if you put me on a leash and call me a good girl

good girls don't get to lick their masters' faces until they've swallowed the damn worming pill

still have worms!

as in, my compost

but I'll take a heartworm pill if you put me on a leash and call me a good girl

still have worms!

as in, my compost

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

hey i’m really glad u liked my post u sick disgusting perverted freak

confession: I have a document or two where I write various characters in situations involving my kinks, just to get the horny brain out of the way. no plot relevance, no deep meaning

to be clear, this is better than whatever the fuck stephen king has going on

Funniest genre of post is those 100 000+ note ones that just say "hey look at this colour."

Purple.

speedran thru this a little bit cause i started to not like it . anyways there u go

Looking for volunteers who will let me dissect them as reference material for A Companion in Vice.

I won't be doing anything sexual but it's fine if you get off on it.

please please please pleasepleasepleaseplease