Mentally I’m still in Fontaine ⚖️

*me, owning a strange boutique housegoods/book store selling a variety of mystic, occult objects but no one realizes I live there, this is literally my living room*

How much for this stick I can shake at God?

10 bucks

can i get these three backscratchers with a bundle discount

15% discount for 3 or more

How bout this book? I think it’s look cool with a cosplay I’m planning

40 bucks but never attempt to read or open it

How much is the doll?

Oh that? Just take it. Take it far far away and do not allow it to return

How about this?

$29.99. Just be careful not to leave the candles burning at night, the gremlin comes alive and likes to wander around and go through your stuff

Hey this chair looks cool, how much?

the chair chooses its owner. sit down and see if it likes you

How bout this

Excuse me that’s my great-uncle, he is family

What about this?

that’s not a sale item, that’s my dang lunch

How much is this neat tea set?

OH GODS YOU’VE SET THEM LOOSE

What about this super creepy cool chair?

that’s Lionel. they’re sleeping and I suggest you do NOT wake them

How much for this dandy fellow?

YOU WOKE IT UP WHY DID YOU WAKE IT UP???

That’s because it’s not skilled labor, anyone can do those things. In order to make good money, you have to be able to do something that not everyone can do.

ARTISTS aren’t skilled labor? Really.

Make me some art RIGHT NOW. Paint me a portrait in oil-based acrylic. 

What? You don’t know that acrylics are water based, not oil based? Gee, that’s something only a skilled painter might know.    

Or instead compose me a song. Design packaging for this new product we’re launching in 10 days. Make me a webpage with eye-popping graphics you didn’t steal from another site.

Artists do all that. In fact, every manufactured thing you touch passed through the hands of a skilled artist at some point.

FAST FOOD! If fast food is ‘unskilled’ then why does Wendys, McDonalds (et al) expend time on training employees? Surely if any asshole off the street could do the work they can just slip right in there and start slinging happy meals on day one, right? 

Do you know the correct EH/OSHA-approved way to wash your hands? Do it wrong and you are literally violating the law. 

Quick: what do the symptoms of Hepatitis-A look like?  

Or let’s talk janitorial services. Do YOU think you can clean an entire floor of an office building in the allotted time? Where does the trash go? The recycling? How do you get ahold of the waste removal company when the dumpsters are inexplicably full at 4am? Whom do you call? What’s the account number? Is this even your job to worry about? If the dumpsters are full where do you put a night’s worth of collected trash?

What do you do with hazardous waste you might encounter, if you’re cleaning (say) an industrial workspace? Dispose of it incorrectly and that’s a crime.

What’s the procedure for when you encounter a trespasser in a secure building where supposedly nobody but you is working? Can you identify a fake or expired employee badge? Are you supposed to? Your training probably covered that. 

How much would we have to pay you, dear @ithinkthatthismustbetheplace, to deal with a seriously clogged toilet? Shit-smeared walls, standing waste water, the entire place trashed as if it was 3am after a frat party? You have less than an hour to return that restroom to pristine condition. And no, building services is not going to help you.  

You don’t think that requires skill? 

Or adequate compensation?

All labor is skilled labor

^^^

The idea of “skilled” or “unskilled” labor is inherently classist, and misses the fucking point anyway. All labor has dignity, whether you THINK it’s “skilled” or not, and all people deserve to live comfortably, whether they’re able to work or not.

When you peel back the layers of this bullshit argument it becomes obvious that it’s just another way to keep us huddled masses infighting instead of building guillotines.

I’ll always reblog this 👍

Nobody has managed to convince me that professional cleaning service people do not have super speed, and yet that is allegedly unskilled labor.

Unskilled labor is a capitalist lie.

Unskilled labor is a capitalist lie.

Even if you’re right. Even if it is unskilled. For argument’s sake let’s say you’re right and you aren’t paying for any expertise, experience, or knowledge.

You still have to pay for the time and effort. You don’t get things for free. No one is going to clean your toilet as a favor!

If someone does a full eight hours of work, even easy work a monkey could do, they deserve a full day’s worth of pay. They should be able to survive comfortably on that paycheck. It should break even for their entire hierarchy of needs for the day at least. Food, water, shelter, clothing, community, art, the entire pyramid.

“But it was so easy! They didn’t work hard!!” Don’t care, they still did it for you. Pay for what you got.

If it’s not worth paying someone fairly for the time they spend doing it for you, then it’s not worth asking someone to do it for you. How is that hard!? Stop asking for hand outs!!!!

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

a sluge 😔

Robin Time Travel AU!!

A fic where Dick or Damian or Jason or all three time-traveled and stop Ethiopia from happening... Only they didn't anticipate the consequences.

With no Ethiopia happening, Jason never dies and neither does Bruce go off the rails... Thus never giving Tim a reason to join the Batfam...

Dick never saw nor tried to find out exactly how bad Bruce got after Jason... And was waiting for Tim to find him again... Even going to Harley's where they met... Keeping the entire schedule for the week very simple for Tiny Tim to easily follow... Only Tim never shows up...

Jason does not know the circumstances of Tim joining and is wondering when Bruce is bringing Timbo home...

While Damian convinced Talia that it is better for him to join his father in Gotham... By 'investigating' and 'arriving' at the 'conclusion' that his father is Batman... Thus he comes to Gotham early... Like months before Tim... Like he coincided with the week Jason would have died...

Again, he does not know the circumstances of Tim joining... Just knowing that this time when he has Robin, it will be on Tim's terms... He is looking forward to a good relationship with him because Dick said Tim always wanted a little brother and now Damian has the chance to be that little brother... No, he is not jealous of YJ or how close they are with Tim, or that bloody speedster... What are you saying!?!!!

Tim never comes.

Now, Tim on the other hand decided to explore Paris and gets caught in shenanigans... Meets Lady Shiva... Gets mentored by Lady Shiva... Unknowingly insults Snake... Gets challenged by Snake... Defeats Snake... Refuses Lady Shiva's offer... And comes back to Gotham... Only this trip was a year or 9-10 months long...

In Gotham, he takes up the cape... Works smaller crimes, nothing with rogues (like Spider-Man) and becomes beloved... Of course, Tim is still that little stalker at heart and keeps updating the Bat's info... he doesn't want to be burdensome to them, Thus, Tim makes sure Bats and him don't cross paths... After all, Batman might feel obligated to take him in as he did Batgirl, Spoiler, and Black Bat... They didn't have training. He does...

Meanwhile, Batfam is wondering where they went wrong and missed Tim... And slowly Dick starts remembering the context as to why Tim sought him out... Not to be Robin but to make him take Robin back up... And when Dick refused to... Then Tim took up the job of keeping Batman in line... Because Gotham needs Batman and Batman needs a Robin...

Dick tells Jason and Damian... They don't believe... Because of course, my info is not wrong... He was replacing me/was an interloper... It takes them that entire year to accept that Tim is not coming... Then scrambling to find him... Then they started hearing rumors... Of this little vigilante who helps with small crimes... And try to intercept him, maybe introduce themselves, to no avail... It was as if Gotham herself was against it, they always missed him...

Meanwhile, Tim's life continues pretty much same as in earlier comics... Batfam, out of the city, Metallo attacks Gotham... Tim calls Superboy... Thus, the first meeting of TimKon, same as comics. Only, instead of Tim, he travels as Alvin Draper, a child who was helped into his seat by his parents and will be picked up by his cousin Shanks at the airport... Actors he hires to help him... And "will you please watch him, we are so scared he will be traveling alone"... The story works for both going and then returning and Cousin Shanks helps Alvin back onto the plane when needed...

School trip for Bart and I do not believe much will change with Bart as he will know Tim's rep from the future, rather than the past, so Bart still believes Tim's awesome... And makes friends...

They still start Young Just Us... And still go on every mission they did in YJ98... Tim still develops a rapport with Batman... Only he is not his Robin or known as his prodigy... Compared to when Batman taught him everything and knew him well, lying to Batman was quite easy for Tim... Because Tim grew up in Gotham society and was his mother's son through and through...

Tim's parents are not bad in this either... Like can Janet put the fear of god in businessmen? YES... But when it came to family and especially Tim, she was soft... I see Tim's relationship with his parents same as Kudo Shinichi's from Detective Conan... Like they have wanderlust and Tim does not... But just because they are not in the same country or continent, does not mean they do not keep in contact... They know exactly what shenanigans Tim gets up to and know better than to stop him because otherwise, he will just hide them... They know all his friends, his interests, etc... Especially his mom, and hiding about Robin probably hurt their relationship a lot...

{I 100% believe the only reason Tim didn't tell Jack he was a vigilante was because he was Robin and thus was responsible for the entire Batfam identities... And that is why Jack believed Tim did not choose but rather was coerced into being Robin because otherwise they would already know...}

So, in this fic, Tim keeps his parents in the loop from the beginning and Janet makes sure a part of DI is dedicated to helping Tim, so he's never without help in Gotham... Also, they know life is dangerous so they get separate mobile/communicators for "just emergencies", like a "Need help! Will die if not given" button... So Tim knew the moment his parents were taken by Obama Man and rescued them with Young Just Us...

Because NO BATMAN RULES thus Tim was able to tell his parents and team his identity much earlier than in canon... He still makes contingencies for fellow heroes, especially Justice League, including the entire Batfam, including Alfred... Because Janet Drake's son is taught better by her mamma... And Tim does not know Wayne beyond being a fanboy and does not have an emotional connection to them...

Just a fic where Batfam lives happily and Tim is successful but they never have more than a coworker relationship... Like Tim is closer to Wally or Donna or Roy or Bisaro or Jon than Dick, Jason, and Damian because they have a familial connection to his team, while Batfam only has the connection of Gotham... Like Oracle has the most influence over Tim's actions in his vigilant life because she sometimes directs him to crime if no one else is available...

Tim is still friends with Stephanie but here Tim's self-respect and confidence are not broken again and again and again... So Stephanie does not get away with treating him like shit on or off the field and that's dangerous on the field, so they mutually decided to not team up unless with a mediator in between that could lead both...

Off-field they are good friends, friends who know their secret life so they can share any grievance, WITHOUT endangering any identities, etc... But they do not date... Tim dates Ariana, yes. And felt Stephanie might be a rebound and knew she deserved better than that. If Stephanie confesses, Tim makes it clear he is not in a position to date yet (don't know if the timeline is right, if not feel free to correct)...

{OK, one thing I make clear, No hate for the character of Stephanie Brown but I just hate how she treats Tim in Canon and everyone acts like it's OK because it's not. It's fucked up and a toxic relationship. Especially how Bruce used their relationship later and Stephanie agrees)...

Tim also seeks mental help for the school shooting and other civilian events, while Jack is looking for a trusted therapist for his son, Janet absolutely approves... When they have one, Tim gets a contract of confidentiality from John Constantine to sign for the therapist and drags his team, kicking and screaming with him...

With the team being introduced to the Drakes early, they spent a lot of time in Gotham, and adults (Janet) understand what is happening with Ross, Tana, etc. And helps Kon before telling him to stay with Tim, "because that boy absolutely cannot take care of himself, never mind he has done so for years, you stay with him, do you want to go to Gotham Academy or do you like your current one"... While Jack is ready to smack some sense into Flashes, with his golf stick... And becomes quite good friends with Max...

Just competent adults who understand they can't stop their wild child but can and will give him every tool to survive.

This cute platypus 

(via)

I fully understand why westerners thought the platypus was a hoax at first. I’m looking at a real live one moving around and it STILL looks fake.

The one thing that could have made them sound any more made up would have been if you said the boys have secret viper fangs that can absolutely fuck you up with venom, and they do, on their goddamn feet.

cursed platypus facts: * five (5) X chromosomes * only the left ovary works * produces milk but has no nipples. the mother just kind of sweats milk out their chest. nature is beautiful * was nearly called the “duckmole” * swims with its weird fish eyes and ears closed, hunting entirely by electroreception * born with teeth, but then they fall out

Nature truely went "eyes closed, head first" with this one huh

Remember that time Pink Kryptonite randomly turned Superman into a woman and he was just all ‘It’s cool brah’ and continued punching baddies?

I cant believe superman has a magical girl sequence

Superman, in his normal deep voice: “I can work with this.”

[continues curbstomping]

I like that they kept Superman Buff even as he was Sailor Superman

Into The Woods aka one of the best B plots in B99

He said “ quote sociopaths unquote”

Rosa and Holt being deadpan badass bros who nonetheless have FEELINGS is my literal favourite thing.

Today’s mood is OMINOUS POSITIVITY

Xena Warrior Princess alphabet | S - Soulmates

Crow: CROW YES!

It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.

science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing

Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.

Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRB KNOWLEDGE

BECAUSE IT IS FUN

This speaks to me on a molecular level.

birbs just wanna have fun

Sorry to hijack a little, but to put it bluntly, corvids are also pretty BALSY. They are more than prepared to harass other huge birds of prey which could deal them a lot of damage. There’s plenty of cases of corvids ‘riding’ other birds as well. It’s often to harass the larger bird out of the area, but as @red3blog said, they quite often (in layman’s terms) enjoy fucking shit up for fun.

‘Where the hell is the seatbelt on this thing?’

I mean they deserve a medal for having such huge bird balls imo

Literally no fucks are given by corvids. Ever.

@neurodivergent-crow

I haven’t seen this post in ages but it’s my fave corvid post.

Intelligence is rooted in how much of a dick you can knowingly be.

@raphcrow

That first gif. You can almost hear the crow whistling as if he’s not doing anything strange behind the dog. Then, Bam!