they invented a new kind of jerking off called groping your bruises and whimpering

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

Medieval inspired tapestry with gold trimming embellishment by SpicyLatinaaaa

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

Hate to be the one to say it but the only real way to watch Merlin (2008) is to ship Basically Everybody

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

Just saw a gigantic iceberg drifting by

need That character absolutely delirious with fear. recoiling from everything. unable to parse what's happening around them, their mind stuck in fight or flight. shaking and hyperventilating. completely unconsolable even as they're wrapped in a crushing hug.

galaxy brain addition thank you

prompt: return

Thanks to @rousseauxyeuxvertes for this prompt 🪿

Rip 2010 Eoin Macken as sir Gwaine from the hit BBC tv show Merlin you'll always be my Flynn Rider

It’s some time past midnight when Merlin asks quietly, “Do you ever think about having a family?”

Arthur turns his head towards the man lying beside him. “What do you mean? I already have a family.” 

He studies the moonlight outlining Merlin’s profile, and his eyes half-lidded, lost in the motifs of the canopy above. “I have you,” he adds, cautious. “I have my knights, and my people safe, and my sister home. I have everything I could ever hope for—and more.”

The room is silent, and Arthur waits. There’s a new restlessness in Merlin; he can see it stirring beneath his skin as he hums under his breath. It’s never easy, watching him like that, and having nothing to slay or stab or behead to make it go away. 

“Yes. Of course, I know,” Merlin’s voice is soft and earnest, but mostly unsure. “I’m glad, too, of all that. But—don’t you ever dream of something else? Something of your own?”

It would be a rare thing, for Arthur, to be allowed something as gentle as a dream. And of course, if he could grant himself that kindness, he imagines that would be the sweetest thing to dream about. But he knows dreams are fleeting creatures, glimpsed only from the corner of your eye, so long as you don’t care too much or look too closely, for they are quick to disappear when faced in full.

“I think–” he clears his throat, and closes his eyes. “Yes, I think it would be nice.”

There’s a rustle of sheets, and the bed creaking plaintively under them as Merlin rolls onto his side to face Arthur. “We should do it.”

Arthur can do little but snort and roll his eyes, and feel his cheeks flush with his pulse and the night breeze. “I hold Gaius in high regard, so I’ll just assume you slept through all your medical lessons. That’s not something we can just—do.” He gestures at the narrow space between them. “Like, us. Me and you. On account of—all obvious anatomical faults.”

Merlin looks at him, and keeps looking for a while, but there’s a hint of something dangerous creeping across his features, which makes Arthur burn fiercely with a hunger of a new kind. 

When Merlin speaks again, his words come slow and low. “There are ways, you know—things you’ve never heard of. But I have. And I can make it all happen.”

“Merlin,” Arthur begs, and stills himself as stone, so that no treacherous notion can find root inside him; but already it’s too late, and his bones fertile ground for them all.

Merlin doesn’t touch him, nor asks Arthur to turn his eyes at him. He just murmurs, “If you want, I can show you.” 

Arthur swallows, and his body gives in. “Yes,” he says. “Please. Show me.”

he's like a patron saint to me

whenever I go to the restroom and can’t piss immediately I get so mad because all I can think about is that weird sexist John Updike passage where he’s like “the pee got lost inside her mysterious Woman Body”

Me drunk as fuck & easily physically distracted knowing logically I have to piss sitting on a bar toilet mad as hell like IF I DON’T PISS RIGHT NOW JOHN UPDIKE WILL HAVE BEEN RIGHT

Arthur tries to hide it from him at first, because he's never met a problem he couldn't be a total fucking idiot about.

"What," Merlin says, keeping his voice level as he holds up the half-empty bottle, which he'd found whilst snooping through Arthur's things, "the fuck is this?"

Arthur doesn't answer for a moment—too busy emptying the contents of his stomach in the chamberpot. Again.

Finally, he wipes the back of his mouth, panting. "It's from Gaius."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"It's for—an upset stomach." Arthur closes his eyes, and breathes carefully. It's obvious he's trying not to throw up again. "It's nothing."

Merlin suppresses the urge to curse Arthur into a toad. "Right. Sure. And you couldn't tell me about it because…?"

He knows why. It's because Arthur's a freak, and doesn't want anyone to realise he's human, and has a human digestive system, which occasionally embarrasses him.

"Because I'm the king, Merlin, and I don't have to tell you anything." Predictable. Merlin heaves a sigh, and makes it as obnoxious as possible. Arthur glares at him, brow still bright with sweat.

Merlin grabs a cloth, and dips it in the wash basin.

"Well," he says cheerily, wiping Arthur's forehead. "These things don't tend to last more than a day or two. You'll be fine."

"It's been happening every morning for two weeks," Arthur says sourly, reverting to his usual sulky self now that the pretence is up. "I'd be convinced the cook is poisoning me, but you always steal half my breakfast, so you'd have dropped dead by now if that was the case."

Merlin's hand stills. "What?"

Arthur rolls his eyes. "I'm joking, Merlin. It's not poison."

"No, not—this has been happening for two weeks?" Merlin stands there, frozen, a sudden sense of awareness dropping heavy into his gut, like an anchor. "Since—since the day we did that ritual for the harvest, you mean? To bless the land with—with fertility?"

Arthur's eyes snap to his, but he answers slowly. "Yes…"

"Right." Merlin's mouth feels dry, and he swallows. "Um. Well. If that's all—"

"Merlin!"

"—I'm just going to go, um. Read up on that spell again. Bye!"