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Seinblog

@seinblog

Seinfeld posts! Sometimes Breaking Bad, too! (I have never seen Breaking Bad)
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the nightmare

George unwittingly tips his eye doctor and is outraged when he starts expecting one after each visit.

Kramer starts charging his sleep paralysis demon rent.

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JERRY: "But where is the money coming from?" KRAMER: "I told you, from my sleep paralysis demon! If he's gonna be staying in my apartment, then he oughta pay his fair share of the rent!" ELAINE: "But there IS NO DEMON! SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMONS ARE NOT REAL PHYSICAL CREATURES!" KRAMER: "Well then where's the money coming from, huh?"

(pa kent giving The Talk voice) see when a bull and a cow love each other very much, that’s how a calf is born [remembers his son came from space] of course if the bull comes from another farm, the cow might not end up taking, but that’s alright [remembers clark might be gay] sometimes bulls also love other bulls [remembers clark is an alien again] but if the bull is from another farm, he might have a calf if he fools around with bulls from here so he should be careful.

my number one woman behavior is saying i’m fine with any pronouns and silently ranking people in my regard based on what they do with that information

This is George Costanza behavior

GEORGE, at a function: Pronouns? Oh, you know, anything. Anything fine. It’s the twenty-first century, right?

-Cut, establishing shot of Jerry’s apartment, bass riff.-

GEORGE: He/him, Jerry!

JERRY: No, they just him’d you?

GEORGE: HE. HIM! I gave them a BUFFET, and they went for plain white bread. Genders as far as the eye could see! Something with an X in it!

JERRY: The X ones are fun…

GEORGE: If they can’t appreciate a good xie or ey… Then that’s it. I’m swearing off pronouns for good. No more pronouns for George Costanza!

JERRY: No pronouns?

GEORGE: No pronouns.

JERRY: No-nouns?

GEORGE: No-nouns.

JERRY: Alright, well, if that’s what you want…

GEORGE: Oh, it is! I’m living the pronoun-free life, starting now. The buffet is CLOSED, Jerry. From here on out I am George and only George!

-George storms out of the apartment and into the hallway. Enter Elaine, baffled and unaware of the conversation that just took place.-

ELAINE: What’s his problem?

-Muffled screaming is heard from the hallway.-

And they said you couldn’t do Seinfeld in the modern day.

modern seinfeld plot where kramer gets into a polyamorous relationship with 4 other people but the one girl leaves so its just him and 3 straight guys that hang out and when jerry asks why theyre still together he says "we cant take that much hurt!"

Jerry Seinfeld says that you could never do Seinfeld today but one time when I was really high I fell asleep and dreamed a new episode where Jerry came out of the closet as a trans woman and Elaine wanted to be supportive so she gifted Jerry a dress that she didn't really like but when Jerry wore the dress out she got tons of compliments and Elaine gets super pissed about it because she never got any compliments when she wore it but couldn't say anything because she didn't want anyone to call her a fake ally.

🦊 anarcho-skamunist Follow

he was a squirtbag jerry! a squirtbag? yeah jerry he was a squirtbag through and through. a squirtbag in this day and age? a genuine squirtbag.

16 notes

I think it's the 16 notes that hurts the most here

I'm not even followed in this scenario

matilda-aseo-deactivated2025043

translatology themed Seinfeld episode where Elaine goes out with a german guy who is an ardent admirer of Walter Benjamin's Task of the Translator so she starts using german idioms translated word for word into english¹. George, a strict adherent to Vermeer's Skopos Theory² ("always been a skopos guy. it's straight to the point. what's going on in hermeneutics? nobody knows! no idea, no skopos!"), makes fun of her for this but then grows a moustache and retrieves his toupé to resemble Benjamin more closely so Wilhelm will think he's in deep translatological thought when he's just looking out the window. the plan backfires, as Steinbrenner associates his new look with Trotsky³ ("shave that beard off George, we're running the Yankees here, not a newspaper!") Jerry is dating a brasilian girl who studied under Rosemary Arrojo, and is accused by Kramer of supporting monolingual regimes bc he wouldn't learn portuguese for her. However, concluding he should show more interest in her work, he tries to impress her by reading Cixous' Reading with Clarice Lispector, in reaction to which the girl breaks up with him ("she broke up with me, George! she said she wanted Cleopatra in bed, not a colonizer!" "Cleopatra?!" "Yes! Can you believe it?" "Nah, you don't have the nose for it.")⁵ Kramer misunderstands Anthropophagic Translation⁶ and thinks Newman wants to eat him.

matilda-aseo-deactivated2025043

Translator's Notes

¹ Walter Benjamin's 1923 essay Die Aufgabe des Übersetzers contains the idea that a translation should not read like a text conceived in the target language but should rather emulate the rhythms and patterns of the source language, so a translation from german to french shouldn't germanify the text but rather frenchify the german language. This of course can be read in many different ways, but the most straightforward reading is one closely resembling the translator's note from Three Body Problem that keeps making the rounds on tumblr, and so what to some may seem like a groundbreaking new revelation in translation is indeed an idea that just recently celebrated its 100th birthday. Which is of course not to say that the Benjamin essay isn't valuable reading, but it is very clearly a document from a time where translation studies weren't established as a field yet and theoretic approaches to translation were mostly done by translator's explaining their choices or in the realm of philosophy, in both cases almost always on literary translation, leaving out vast areas of the field and often largely ignoring the material circumstances that affect the production of translations.

² Skopos Theory, coined by Hans Vermeer, is the idea that the deciding factor of a translation is its purpose, so who, why, when a given translator is translating for should decide the strategy and thus the criteria by which to judge the translation. A strategy that works for poetry doesn't necessarily work for dishwasher manuals and shouldn't be judged by its standards, to pick a blunt example.

³ Benjamin, Trotsky, Costanza

⁴ Rosemary Arrojo is a brasilian translatologist who contributed greatly to the field of translation studies. One of these contributions is an essay she published in response to french writer and feminist Hélène Cixous' Reading with Clarice Lispector, a book describing a feminist approach to women's literature that, as Arrojo shows, merely takes advantage of the existing power relations, putting her own ideas into Lispector's mouth in the knowledge that rarely anyone in the imperial core will understand brasilian portuguese well enough to correct her on it. in reading Cixous, Jerry shows that he has indeed understood nothing and relies on his imperial core worldview in much the same way as Cixous.

⁵ another contribution of Arrojo is the 1986 book Oficína de Tradução, where in a chapter she likens translation to Cleopatra, who takes on new forms throughout the ages yet remains an idea in the public imaginary, much in the same way translation does. So it is easy to understand what is meant by "a coloniser" but why is it said the gf wanted Cleopatra? This is not difficult, like most reasonable ppl she is into femboys. why one would assume Jerry to take on the femboy role can easily be understood when reading Daniel Boyarin's Unheroic Conduct, so in spite of Jerry clearly being in the wrong, this leaves open the possibility of a misunderstanding of social roles that is mutual. George's comment ("you don't have the nose for it") makes playful reference to Elaine's plot, as having the nose for something ("den richtigen Riecher") is a german way of phrasing an instinctive understanding, that would be rendered in english as a "hunch" or "gut feeling", which Jerry clearly has neither for women nor for translatology. This is in character behaviour for George, see Seinfeld episodes The Pledge Drive, where he starts eating candy bars with knife and fork after Elaine talks about having seen Mr Pitt do it, and The Cartoon, where he dates a woman who looks exactly like Jerry. in tying Arrojo's translatological thought to Jerry's dainty Hollywood nose, so unlike Cleopatra's, this plotline translates core ideas of postcolonial translation into USamerican gendered body politics.

⁶ everyone knows what Anthropophagic Translation is

This is pretty close to how it feels to read House of Leaves

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darknetexclusivetouhouterrorcore

the part in a JRPG where u sneak onto a pirate ship but get caught and have to break out of jail

jerry: I've just been thinking, once there's nothing left that's been spared my blade, wouldn't I be god?

george: no life?

jerry, gesticulating: nothing under heaven or above earth. all things equal.

[jerry turns to face the palace but freezes in his step]

jerry: hey uh... you're in my way.

kramer, slowly walking down the palace stairs: oh no, I can't let you do that, jerry. if this would truly be your way...

[kramer draws his sword]

kramer: then know that your way ends here.

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