my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"
OP the tags!!
Ilya meeting Shane's parents must be insane for them like. Mr Ilya "The Terminator" Rozanov, terror on ice and menace in bed, politely stands there. Your very shy son admonishes him for using the word "lovers" and Russia's Greatest Rage Machine just takes it.
You ask when this started and Mister Dickhead makes sure Shane is accurate about when they started this. How dare you stave off half a year of us, Shane?
You ask if they talked to Scott Hunter and Ra Ra Rasputin says that he, famous asshole extraordinaire went to talk to Patron Saint of Hockey Gays to offer him congratulations.
You ask if he has no loyalty to Boston and Mr Fucking Fuck San Francisco is like. Nyet
Your son is having a panic attack and Miike Snow Genghis Khan calls them "boyfriends" and it's your own extremely shy and sensitive and loving son that is like MY WHAT
Shane Hollander + text posts (x)
i am above all else a fujo i will ship two used tissues together if i think its interesting but at the same time there are some pieces of media where the fans make me wonder like. why are your shipping goggles on rn. can you pay attention. wait nevermind post cancelled i just remembered ive spent the last day sporadically posting about how buzz lightyear is gay. perhaps i should look within before casting judgement onto others
There are many, many things to love about episode 5 of Heated Rivalry, but the one that cracks me up the most is the fakeout where Shane is about to leave the hotel room and is fully clothed, making it seem like he and Ilya didn’t have sex
And then the reverse shot of Ilya lounging smugly in his underwear on a bed that has been ABSOLUTELY AND UTTERLY DEMOLISHED
I love the line “I don’t think I can keep pretending I don’t like you” sooooo much because I feel like it’s the first time shane’s like can we be so for real for a second YOU are the one who needs to pretend like this is a ‘rivals who just have sex but don’t like each other as people’ thing so you feel safe from your own feelings. YOU are the one who needs to tell me every other minute how much we don’t enjoy spending time in each other’s company. I don’t need that!!!! I was ready to just be your friend from like year two of hooking up!!!! and now I’m done with it!!!! I need you to man up and admit that you think I’m great just like I think you’re great!!!!
Cute loser dork Shane pulling Ilya has to be studied by nasa or something
okay on the one hand I get it: ilya is SO hot and shane is such a sweet little dweeb. but I do think we should remember that shane is canonically SOOOO good at hockey. the show admittedly does not do the best job of convincing us of this, but they are meant to be equals who are at the very pinnacle of their sport. I’d guess that ilya’s probably never played against someone who can offer him a real challenge, and I bet it’s VERY hot to be like oh this person pushes me hard, this person forces me to be better in every way, this person is somebody who others describe as one of the greatest athletes in his sport… and he wants to get on his knees and suck my dick. he wants it so bad he’s panting for it. he’s begging me to let him. combine that with the devastating reveal that shane is a total sweetheart AND a complete innocent who trusts you to be all of his firsts?? I think actually… not so hard to see why ilya would find that irresistible
hudson is most excited for the trophy room scene in season 2.... so the scene where he'll be bent over a chair and hear praise and be called a slut and have connor on top of him oh i'm sure
I’ll be honest I found that scene pretty corny in the books but I can’t wait for them to somehow magically transform it into the hottest scene in the whole season as they will inevitably do
Okay re hudson accidently putting connor in subspace i literally could not sleep last night thinking about a (conceptual) fic where practicing making out to make sure it's good turns into connor "practicing" sucking on hudson's fingers, you know, just to make sure it reads well etc, except connor is kneeling in front of hudson on the couch and all of a sudden it doesn't seem like practice anymore and hudson keeps gently egging him on
please… I need every possible version of this concept… also I just find this particular rpf pairing SOOOO delicious because it’s like. they’re navigating fake fucking and fake falling in love in an compressed period of time on set and then off set they’re experiencing an intense slow burn friends to lovers thing but with a totally different dynamic because their roles are flipped from the show!! SO many layers here it’s such a dream ship to play around with!! and god I love the whole ‘let’s have pretend sex to practice for the pretend sex we’ll be having on camera except oops it’s starting to feel more and more like real sex and we’re not sure where any of the lines are anymore’ thing. anyway this is all to say that hudson 1000% accidentally puts connor in subspace by having connor kneel at his feet and suck his fingers while hudson cards his fingers through connor’s hair and tells him how good he looks he’s gonna look so good on camera he’s so pretty like this he’s doing such a good job
haha I can’t even see you with all the cameras flashing ! [im feeling kind of overwhelmed by our meteoric rise to fame im not sure if this is really what i dreamed of idk why im feeling so lonely in a crowd tonight] no worries ill make a little tunnel with our hands to block them out [ive got you im right here nobody else is real just us we’ll go back to your place later and wrestle on the couch and ill slowly gently lovingly crush you under the weight of my body until you remember how to breathe again] ok!!!!!! like ok I guess that’s the dynamic!!!!!
