Rupaul on the heated rivalry themed episode of drag race: today our queens are giving Slayne Hollanserve realness— but can they avoid ending up on the bottom like him? What do you think Hudson

Guest Judge Hudson Williams, not listening, having withdrawal symptoms every time he’s away from Connor for longer than 24 hours now that they’re pair bonded: Shane is always the bottom

Ru: that’s not—

Hudson: he wouldn’t do that

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

it’s me boy, the evil alter in your mind. listen to bubblegum bitch for the eighteenth fucking time in a row

I respect an "I can fix him" villainfucker 50x more than a "he didn't do anything wrong, he's just misunderstood!" villainfucker. like yeah they both get the cute domestic happily ever after, but man the first guy has depth they have nuance and most importantly they are actually aware they're a villainfucker

but the guy i respect MOST is the unapologetic villainfucker. "yeah he did that shit and it was sexy" fuckers. "was the wanton murder fun babe it looked fun" fuckers. these guys know where it's at

the classic roll onto side and sleep for two more hours trick - ill try it now!

i wake up and ten thousand years have passed. i dreamt of watching a light rain fall onto a stormy sea. theres nothing left of anything.

get those abs off of him

Warding off the oncoming depressive episode by reading about very old tortoises

Pleased to report that the 190 year old tortoise is a gay icon

Jonathan is the oldest known land animal btw. I need everyone to know that the oldest animal alive is a gay tortoise

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Wtf

When Russia makes this post illegal

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

I have a piece of tumblr history on my blog now

String identified: atgctactttaatcaaaaattcaTattattatttgaagtcaacatTaaataattgaATCTgtgattaaacttg

Closest match: Bombyx mori BmN4 cell DNA, chromosome 24, sequence Common name: Domestic Silk Moth

(image source)

When the domestic silk moth sends you nudes

Domestic silk moth is just being friendly

Now the moth is banned in Russia

…well what the fuck is this

Art.

i’m bleeding out in the snow and my friend is trying to help me but they just noticed that all my bloodstains are heart shaped so they set me down for a second to get some aesthetic photos they’re gonna post on instagram later. but to be fair i’m not tending to my wounds either i’m bitching on tumblr LOL! i think i am going to die in these snowy mountains. . . 🏔️ 🩸 ☠️

took acid on new years as per tradition and me and my sister got really into the concept of an origami crane folded out of a pizza so precisely and beautifully that it "shames our hatred". like all acts of human cruelty are shamed by the perspective that its beauty provides. we called it pizza crane