When I tell people to delete anon hate, to not publish it, it’s not me saying “ignore it and it’ll stop; don’t fight back.” It is 100% petty and spiteful. Honestly, I can’t think of anything better than the person who sent the hate obsessively checking your blog and refreshing and refreshing, waiting for you to reply, and getting increasingly frustrated when the ask they so masterfully crafted never pops up & you just keep posting cute pictures of your pets and talking about how nice your day was.

(source)

thank you yes, I did need this today

I love otter

Credit: perfectopat2

walking with momma

You can say you don’t like when dogs jump on you in public and there will be dog owners out there who want you to die

when a character is so badly hurt/sick that their demeanour switches up entirely

How to put a Ship in a Bottle

Source

@antiquesfreaks

i just wanted you guys to know theres a porn parody of the force awakens and just when this storm trooper dude starts feeling this bitch up, kylo came in and started doing his usual tantrum shit in the background unprovoked, meanwhile oblivious to all thats happening and let me tell you no porn has ever cut me so off guard and brought me to tears in .01 seconds until now

me desperately clinging to my favorite stuffed animal while my parents argue loudly in their room: itsprobably my fault

my cat speaking telepathically: thats not true! your parents hated each other long before you were born this was inevitable

me: oh...

the spectre that hanuts my livingroom:

aš beviltiškai įsikibus į savo mėgstamiausią plušinį žaislą kol mano tėvai kitam kambary visa gerkle riejasi: taitikriausiai mano kaltė

telepatiškai šnekanti mano katė: netiesa! tavo tėvai negalėjo vienas kito pakęsti dar ilgai prieš tau gimstant šitai buvo neišvengiama

aš: a...

šmėkla besivaideananti mano salione:

a tale as old as time

could happen to any of us really

if i ever become a showrunner i will actually do the fake series finalle followed by the true ending where the popular gay ship is confirmed just so i can forever poison fandom with the idea that it can happen for real and then they will truly never let that hope go for all other subsequent shows they watch henceforth. just for the sake of making the world a worse place

unmute

You only need to know one thing: meow.

[Video transcript:

(Meow in the background. The meows continue through the video.)

So, (meow) today I am making... (meow) (snicker) pine- (meow) pinecone dice. (meow) (meow) My cat- (meow) He- (meow) He wants to narrate, too (meow). SHUT UP, THUNDER. (a beat.) He's not allowed in the bedroom (meow) 'cause he beats my other cat up (meow) and she's in here right now (meow) so he's throwing a fit.

Anyways, we're making pineco- (wheeze) i lost my train of thought.

So, I use- (meow) (exasperated) pi- i can't fucking these blank inserts (meow) to put the pinecones in (a series of meows interrupt) and then I put the pl- I had this all planned out and I was gonna explain exactly what I was doing and then the (meow)... the CAT... (meow) (a beat.) (Some purring) Can you (purring) hear that? Listen to that)(meow)

Anyways I hope you like the dice, bye.

End transcript]

Lore noises (gently tacked on to the end of every-other sentence): "mya-ho" "nya-hu" "mye-ha" "nyu-hu"

I'll be honest with you the "mya-ho" and "nyu-hu" are also getting stapled to the front of sentences

I sell nothing but yarn that seems pointless at first but will be crucial to the plot 3 hours later when its suddenly difficult to get back to my location to purchase it mya-ho