as soon as you feel the summer melancholy creep in on you and your brain is telling you to rot in bed BITCH NO you just need to swim in a lake and dry in the sun

age 16: the world isn't worth living in

age 24: been getting into greek yogurt & birdwatching lately

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

I've been worried ever since I was born

if a character means enough to me i will truly never stop thinking about them. i just retire them into a little back room in my brain and periodically bring them out to stare at them under a little light

anyone else feel like theyre on the verge of insanity in an undescribable way

so judging by how astonished people are by it every time we explain it to anybody, it seems like my wife and I might really be onto something here

during the pandemic, we invented something we call "astronaut time."

when it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks. one of us is outside the space station and one of us is inside the space station. our radios do not work and we have no way of communicating with each other. we might see each other through the lil porthole windows, but we ignore each other because we both have different things to do.

"astronaut time" is how we get total privacy when we live in the same apartment. I will pretend you don't exist. You will pretend I don't exist. we have a nonverbal, zero-contact signal for when astronaut time is over (usually "I'll draw a smiley-face on the whiteboard in the kitchen when I'm done"). No talking, stay out of each other's line of sight, we are actively avoiding each other, unless you are currently experiencing a medical emergency goodbye.

it has been. a godsend. imagine living with your partner and being able to close every single tab in your brain related to social interaction. no fear of being interrupted by a "hey, quick question--" or "sorry to bother you, but do you know where the scissors are?" or "did you want something to eat, too?" Once or twice a month, we look at each other lovingly, hold hands, and say "baby I think I need some astronaut time tonight," and the other person goes "okay cool. bye! have a nice night!" and nobody's feelings are hurt and we both go and have a lovely evening completely by ourselves.

like idk it's a small thing but it's made our lives so much nicer, so if you and your partner/roommate are both people who sometimes need total privacy in order to recharge, maybe try it

having cash is like having secret money. like whos gonna find out i’m buying tacos with this crisp $20 bill??? not my bank account, that’s for sure

anyway… do u want to rent a cabin that has an outdoor hot tub w me so we can kiss and make out in it. idk just a thought :/

🎃  Happy Halloween tumblr! 🎃

Local house witch telling you to please learn basic housekeeping skills.

It’s not your fault if no one ever taught you but YouTube is a magical place and can teach you at your own pace.

Someone asked me what housekeeping skills I’d recommend learning.

Keep in ming that this is not me shaming you, I know you have your reasons, folks. This is just a guy who enjoys clean spaces asking that you start learning now.

Here’s what I suggest as an adult who has lived with other adults who didn’t have housekeeping skills:

First and foremost, learn about all the places in your house that need to be cleaned and understand how often they should be cleaned. the American Cleaning Institute (I guess that’s a thing) has a good article about basic cleaning info. Plus this video on cleaning tips is great!

Learn how to do your dishes. HOT water is the only way to clean your dishes.

Learn how to clean your shower head, especially if you live in a place with hard water. Same goes for your sinks.

Learn how to do your laundry correctly. Even without the whole “separating whites and colors” thing, there are things you need to learn about washing your clothes. Learn what the tags mean, too.

Also, you don’t have to use fabric softener and you shouldn’t use it on towels or any fabric meant to absorb. (Learn about laundromats) And please learn how to clean out your dryer vent, it’s a safety hazard!

Get a disinfecting cleaner for your high-touch areas, especially the gross ones like the bathroom. Just because it doesn’t look dirty, doesn’t mean it’s clean!

Learn how to sweep, mop, and vacuum effectively.

You’ll also want to make sure to change out your home’s air filters.

TL;DR, here are some cleaning videos.

How to Clean Everything in Your Bathroom

How to Clean Everything in Your Kitchen

Livingroom Cleaning Routine

How to Clean Everything in Your Bedroom

Now these resources are not the end-all-be-all, but I think if you don’t know much about cleaning your space this is a good way to start.

i want to be a sweet and friendly girl but there’s all this anxiety. and the horrors

The biggest lie in fanfiction is that everyone has a first aid kit in their house. I have never owned one in my life

Wait do y’all not have like…first aid boxes in your hall closets? Like just a plastic box that has your basic first aid shit?

...no? Wait, you mean some people actually have first aid kits lying around their homes? 

I... personally don't have a first aid kit at home and never had, neither my parents had, but... I've always had a "medicine cabinet", that always have... things like bandages, peroxide, alcohol, chlorhexidine, anti-burn cream... I don't know, the kind of things you are supposed to find in a first aid kit.

Don't you folks have that kind of thing?

#now#fire extinguishers? that's only for rich people

Realizing our household may be more accident-prone than most because we have a fire extinguisher on both levels and a full-on first aid kit, and we've needed them.

This is terrifying. Please get some of this shit for your home.

If you are renting, your landlord is supposed to provide a fire extinguisher (check local rental laws and your lease, and if you don't know where it is in your home, find out). You should keep it in the kitchen and/or near the fireplace if you have one. You can get these on amazon for $20. Check dates and make sure your extinguisher is not in need of replacement (again, if renting, replacement/reimbursement should be your landlord's responsibility).

They will save your ass and they are not "for rich people", oh my god, holy shit.

For first aid:

First, you should definitely invest in a first aid/CPR course (infant and adult classes cost the same and are more comprehensive, it's worth it). Red cross offers them regularly and all over, and they cost around $100 and take about 4 hours your first time. You renew every two years, and renewing takes less time and costs less because you can take them online at that point, but even taking it once is helpful (but attempting serious FA/CPR if your cert is out of date is a bad idea; you will forget shit and might do more harm than good). You can also put this on your resume! It's especially useful (and required) in childcare/education.

Some basic tips for pretty run-of-the-mill stuff:

And some basic supplies to keep around, in a first aid kit or medicine cabinet:

If you know how to use others things, keep those other things around. Don't try to keep stuff around that you don't know how to use properly (like tourniquet kits), or if you do, make sure anyone using them does know what they're doing.

This list is also tailored to cover a variety of needs; you may not need some of this stuff personally, but if you have a friend over who has migraines, menstrual cramps, a bee sting allergy, or a latex allergy, it's a good idea to have some stuff on hand to help them out.

It's also a good idea to stock this stuff in your car if you drive, and definitely have them with you if you go hiking or camping (especially in a low-or-no-service area). You should also add a warm blanket, granola bars, water (in case you get stuck somewhere), and cat litter (for getting out of snow/mud) to that list for your car.

You should definitely also keep jumper cables in your car at all times, and consider getting a battery charger so you don't need to wait for someone else to show up and help you.

For the love of god, yall, please don't brush this stuff off as "rich people shit". I'm sorry you weren't taught this stuff, I'm sorry it wasn't normalized for you, but it's never too late to learn and make sure you're keeping yourself & those around you safe.

did you know? you can imagine scenarios in your head...but watch out.

i’m kind of like if a girl did nothing with her life

You can only reblog this today.