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Spatial's Space

@spatialheather / spatialheather.tumblr.com

(not a space heater) 30+, queer, she/they. Art, Funny, DnD + Fandom

If you're in the US, now is a great time to talk to the young people in your life about the US military:

  • The recruiter is not your friend. The military employs child psychologists to learn how to make you think the recruiter is your friend.
  • The recruiter is allowed to lie to you and makes more money if they do.
  • The recruiter is paid a commission to groom children into cannon fodder.
  • The recruiter will tell you you're special and will go into special smart soldier programs instead of combat. They're lying.
  • The recruiter may tell you they can tell if someone can get PTSD or not and only recruit people like you, who won't. They're lying.
  • The recruiter may tell you you'll be too busy attending free college (!!) to go overseas. They're lying.
  • The recruiter may ask what countries you want to travel to and promise you bougie placements on military bases in those countries. They're lying.
  • Even "It's just four years!" is a lie - the government is allowed to hold you past your enlistment period with a stop-loss order.
  • The recruiter actually has zero power to decide anything that happens to you after you enlist and they more importantly don't care what happens to you.
  • If you enlist, you will be brainwashed to make you willing to do things to other humans that you would never be willing to do today.
  • You will be ordered to do things that will kill children. And you'll do them.
  • The military is not the only way or even the best way for you to go to college or start a career.
  • Military brainwashing will actually make you into a terrible university student because it degrades your ability to think critically and question your sources.
  • Having PTSD and/or a TBI will make it harder to be a student and keep a job.
  • Veterans' benefits suck these days.
  • Being a veteran drastically increases your risk of homelessness, suicide, alcohol and drug dependence, prison time, and becoming an abuser to your loved ones.
  • The military will expose you to chemicals that will drastically increase your chances of developing cancer.
  • The military will withhold information about your rights to conscientiously object after enlisting.
  • A lot can change in four years.

Fun fact, military recruitment has been stagnating for years because most young people don't enlist if they don't already have a family member serving (it's been called the US's "warrior caste" problem), and even then, fewer of those families want their kids to enlist.

The US military is not a popular institution, it's never been more alienated from its own citizens, let alone despised by the people they terrorize, and Oil War 2026 Edition does not need your service!!!

idk if i already posted this building but look at it... no reference just my heart... literally so prettys.... this with my custom brushes imade too like for the windows and lights uwaaa...

advertisement is so constant and everywhere i have to wonder if it even works anymore. im aware my bus stop probably has ads on it but i couldnt tell you what for. i hear 'this video is sponsored by' and i start skipping ahead until its over. u can probably argue theyre still getting in your brain by becoming part of the white noise but like idk man. im feelin really "when everything is ads, nothing is." right now.

chud atlantis

Hello everyone, sorry to go so long without posting something. I caught covid in August and it's taken me months to start feeling relatively back to normal. I am still struggling with fatigue and some neurological problems, so thank you for your patience!

It is rare that the McMansion ever approaches the mythical, though it is, of coursed, steeped in its own mythology -- of bootstrapism, castle doctrine and, importantly, a total commitment to individualism. No one bereft of a sense of personal mythos would build some of the houses I've posted about on this site throughout the years.

However, rarely do those houses sincerely believe their own myths, express them so utterly. Often, there's a bit of cheek involved in all those Corinthian columns, even among the knockoff Rolex set. Whenever one does swallow the (blue) kool aid, well, it's very important to me. And so, from the forgotten underwater past of the greater Houston suburbs, I bring you: Chud Atlantis

(it is always more fun to quote the front bit of that Shelley poem, because the second bit has been misappropriated by Reddit.)

Atlantic in size (8 bedrooms, 9 baths, 10,000+ square feet), and in price ($2.8 million), Chud Atlantis is proof that, for better or for worse, we used to build things in this country. (Just kidding, this house was built, astonishingly enough, in 2023.) Its existence is baffling to me not only because it is anachronistic (it belongs in the Bad 70s) but because it is Texan. This house is, in the fullest sense of the word, a transplant. Orlando is that way.

(Shall we enter, then, the eye-watery depths?)

It's important that you understand that the most significant thing about this house is that it is blue. In an age of gray supremacy, it is nice to know that tacky can still come in more unconventional shades. No one prior to this has ever looked at a piece of dyed marble and thought: I need to make this my entire personality. Not even in the 80s!

Like many McMansion owners, these do not know how to decorate. One can only presume that the furniture involved is so heavy that staging also wasn't an option. This makes the house a historical document because from this point onward such rooms will henceforth be yassified with AI.

this kitchen begs for a concept food. it begs for 'gold leaf hamburger.'

I'm not entirely convinced that the Rococo period was ugly, but its imitators commit crimes unerringly and without fail. Furniture like this sits in a room like a big glob of meat. Instead of saying 'i'm rich' what it actually communicates is: 'i'm heavy.'

I don't know how you can make so much money and yet have everything you do look like the bootleg Chanel rugs they sell outside of the subway. Like, can't you buy the real thing, dawg?

This may also be the first house whose broad aesthetic is executed by way of direct to consumer printing. The FedExification of art. Or something like that. After all, the internet loves a neologism more than it loves its elaboration.

"What should we put here to fill out this room" all-time bad answer.

Anyway, without further ado, the back:

The suburban mind yearns for the miniature golf course. The suburban mind yearns for water while it all dries up.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don’t worry! This doesn’t adjust for inflation! Now’s the perfect time to join!) By the way: new subscribers can buy a year of McMansion Hell for just $12!

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! McMansion Hell stocks, much like mortgage-backed securities only ever go up! For non-architecture stuff I also have a substack where I write about things like the ring cycle and going to the eye doctor.

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