my experience with rose

i feel like it's finally my turn to say something. i've kept this to myself for so long but seeing people still love rose, and now that she's finally gone i can't stay quiet anymore.

i was 15. the whole time i was so confused. she would constantly talk sexual with me, telling me about her fantasies and making comments i didn't even understand yet. she asked me to call with her, and on those calls she'd always bring up sexual stuff. i didn't know what to say. i just remember feeling weird, uncomfortable like i had to just sit there and go along with it even though i didn't want to.

eventually i blocked her. she blocked me back, and then i deactivated. since then tumblr hasn't felt safe for me. every time i see her name or people saying how much they love her it brings all of it back.

i think this is the last time i'll ever be on here. i don't even know why i'm writing this except that i just want to finally be heard. i've carried this for so long in silence and maybe it doesn't even matter anymore but it matters to me.

the worst part is i barely have any screenshots because i deactivated my account back then. that makes me scared no one will believe me. it scares me that most of this only exists in my memory and maybe only i will ever know what truly happened.

sometimes i feel like maybe i'm being dramatic. like maybe i overreacted or made it bigger than it was. but then i remember how sick it made me feel, how confused i was how i didn't even know what to say when she would start talking sexual with me. i was 15. that shoulve been enough for her to know it was wrong

i don't know. maybe i'll regret posting this maybe people won't believe me, but at least i finally said it out loud.

please i beg, interact with this any way i really want to feel heard it feels like im being dramatic but then I remember how much it still bothers me.

tags for awareness@cvnntagious @darksturnz @y3sterdaysproblem @passionfruitchris @nickssidewitch @humpster35

this is utterly fucking disgusting SICKENING. i’m so sorry for you and any other person that dealt with this. i’m sending love angel. you are so strong for speaking up.

how matt deals with your attitude ✩‧₊˚

1.

you walk into the garage with matt, sighing in annoyance as you get in the passenger seat.

“what’s up with you?” he frowns, pushing some hair behind your ear. you roll your eyes and pull away from his touch.

there’s no particular reason that you’re annoyed, you just are.

“don’t roll your eyes at me, tell me what’s wrong.” he urges, his hand dropping to the centre console as he looks over your frustrated expression.

“nothing, oh my god” you scoff and open the door, getting out and slamming the door. all you wanna do is just go back to bed and not talk to anyone for the rest of the day.

you hear the passenger window roll down as you head back towards the house.

“get your ass back in the car.” matt demands, his tone flat. you know he’s not gonna soften on this.

you sigh and turn back around, getting into the car with a large huff. he looks you up and down with a smirk.

“see… not that hard.” he leans forward and pats your thigh before starting the car, giving you one last glance before pulling off.

2.

you’d been moody all morning and he was sick of it. you had just rolled your eyes at him for the millionth time.

“that’s it, go to bed.” he snaps, pointing towards the bedroom.

“what…?” you turn to look at him with a frown. “i’m not even tired.” you scoff and go back to what you’re doing.

“bed. now. you need a fucking nap.” he repeats with a firm tone, grabbing your wrist and pulling you with him as he walks to the bedroom.

he lifts you onto the bed, takes your jeans off and covers you with the bedsheets. giving your back a soft rub.

“there you go… see, you’re sleepy” he sits next to you and kisses your forehead. “look at you…” he chuckles and strokes your back, watching as you start falling asleep.

when you wake up he’s laying next to you on his phone, you give him a sheepish smile and nuzzling into his stomach.

“sorry for being mean…” you mumble, voice rasping from sleep.

“don’t apologise, i can handle it…” he strokes a hand over your hair, chuckling slightly.

~ ೀ dollybunss ~ written with love ₊˚⊹

—𝒮𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑦 𝒢𝑖𝑟𝑙🌙—

𝒴ou walk into matt’s room finally ready to go to sleep. your eyes are barely staying open as you stand in the doorframe, matt already laying down. you clear your throat, waiting for him to notice you. “matt..” you say softly, trying your hardest to keep your eyes open so you don’t fall asleep standing up.

you had to sleep like a princess. pink pjs on that your boyfriend matt had gotten for you, your body shaved and exfoliated, everything clean. you ESPECIALLY had to sleep with your favorite pink mask on to eliminate any light coming through.

unfortunately matt was out with friends, so you had to go to bed without him.

you had crawled in bed about 10 minutes ago, almost fully dozing off when suddenly in your subconscious you hear the door creaking open. too lazy, and quite frankly too tired to tell matt goodnight you didn’t move a muscle and focused on going to sleep.

that is until you feel footsteps approaching your “sleeping” body.

but you still didn’t move.

the footsteps stop over you, as you feel “matt” towering over you. he reaches his hand out, tracing your face, slowly moving his hand to trace down to your lips, your jawline stopping there.

you had no choice but to drop the fake sleeping and start stirring in your “sleep”. he moves his hand so that it rests on your chin, slowly tracing your bottom lip.

you smile as your mask still remains on your eyes, grabbing his hand “didn’t know you’d be in this early…” you say softly, as you kiss the finger that rested on your lip.

he moves his finger down slowly, gently. moving it down your torso, in between your breasts, stopping at your tummy. you squirm at his delicate touch, subtly moving your hips up, hearing a soft chuckle from him.

“matt…” you say softly, biting your lip. “don’t tease..” you grab his hand as he snatches it immediately, pinning it down.

you gasp at the sudden motion, “matt..please..” you not so subtly lift up your hips this time. as he takes both of your pinned arms in one hand and pins your hips down with the other.

“matt” had never been this rough with you before. it’s almost as if he had snapped and just wanted to be rough. but you liked it this way. not having the upper hand, being put in your place.. you weren’t complaining to say the least. this is the most excited “matt” had ever made you. you were soaked.

“quiet down…” your “boyfriend” says lowly as he lets go of one of your wrists, cupping your face desperate to keep his identity hidden for just a little bit longer. “matt—give it to me…please..” you whine, squirming in his grasp, needy to explore more of whatever it is that switched off in “matt”

he leans down, his mouth hot, hovering over your own. “yeah? give it to you?” he opens his mouth as his lips just barely graze yours, not kissing you though. “please…” you whine, trying to lean in to kiss him. “greedy little thing—does my brother not please you good enough? you never sound this needy when he fucks you..” your not so “boyfriend” says. you shove him off as you take off your sleep mask.

you come face to face with your boyfriends brother. chris. your eyes widen as you get off of the bed, standing up. “chris!! what the hell!!” you yell, not loud enough to draw attention. “hi sweetheart” he says wearing a shit eating smirk on his face. “why would you do that!” you stomp, your adrenaline racing through every crevice of your body. “do what? something different? something you liked?” he stands up, slowly approaching you. you blush as you look away from him. “i hear the both of you through the walls all the time even when you think that i don’t..” he bites his lip. “wanna enlighten me on why you never sound that fucking desperate with my brother? hmm?” he backs you up against the wall, trapping you.

“not that it’s any of your business, but apparently you don’t listen good enough..” you cross your arms, looking back up at him with a wide eyed expression. “oh but that’s where you’re wrong…” he clicks his tongue as he traces his hand up your arm. “i hear when you think you’re the only person here…you touch yourself, hitting all the spots he can’t..” he pouts down at you.

“i can fuck you so much better…” he traces his arm up to your chin, making you look at him. you make a pathetic attempt to shove him off, but he pins you to the wall, trapping you ever so more than before. he leans against your ear, biting your ear lobe gently, teasingly. “do you wanna be fucked how you deserve or not? i can leave.” he growls in your ear. “chris….please…” you whimper, shivers running down your spine. “please what? tell me what you want.” he demands, hovering his lips over yours.

when all of a sudden from downstairs you hear the front door open, distant footsteps and laughter fill your ears. laughter that belongs to nobody other than your boyfriend. your heart stops, squirming away from chris. or atleast trying to. “chris—let me go!!” you whisper shout, looking at him with pleading eyes. “give me an answer” his eyes are dark, invisible to you as he grabs you by your throat, not squeezing tight but just enough so that you can focus on him.

“there’s nothing to answer!! just let me go before he sees!!” you whine, your heart rate being through the roof. chris doesn’t budge but instead leans in and captures your lips with his in a sloppy messy kiss, making you moan softly. you are too caught off guard to recollect what is happening in the moment now, but you quickly snap out of it and break the kiss. “i got my answer…” he smirks as he lets go of you, backing up to walk out of the door right as matt is almost at the top of the stairs.

“say the words and i’ll make you feel what you’re missing.” he says lowly as he opens matt’s bedroom door and walks out leaving you breathless and confused. you bounce back to reality and quickly crawl back into bed, putting your eye mask on when you hear matt enter the room.

you’re quick to play possum and act asleep, not twitching or moving a muscle. you feel matt approaching you as he leans down to place a kiss on your forehead.

you have never felt more aroused and guilty at the same time.

tags: : @starrii-sturns @sturns-mermaid @emely9274 @hjvi @chrepsi @chrisstomach @izzylovesmatt @mattssslutbby @chrisslut04 @fratbrochrisgf @sturnsxbitvh @grace-sturnz @divinesturn @sturniolo-szn2 @riasturns @chrissweetheart @whore4chris @jensturnss @riggysworld @h3arts4nat @lvrsturniolo @trustinsturniolos @chrxsprettygirl @mialovesyouchris @fictionalboysstuff @iloveduckssm @eeyoresturnz @sturniolosymphony @whore4-chrissturniolo @sturnvdds @eviep4l

𝓕𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒎💫

(𝓑𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌!)

𝓨ou had been fucking for so long that you had lost count of how many times the both of you had came. one things for certain, you were having matt’s baby.

“stop bein’ s’stubborn and listen to me” he grabs your face so that you’re looking at him. “but matt!” you protest, crossing your arms. “do y’wanna know how to kiss or not, baby?” he lets go of your face, staring a hole into your head. “fine. but please don’t make it weird afterwards..” you sigh, uncrossing your arms and finally obliging.

“good—good.” he smirks contently, tilting his head to the side. “just follow my lead, kay’?” he nods, inching his face closer to yours. “i’ll try…” you say shyly, your cheeks heating up. “don’t go shy on me, sweetie” he pouts. “does my girl wanna be a deer in the headlights when she kisses a guy? is that it, hm?” he coos, poking your side teasingly.

“just kiss me…show me how..” you roll your eyes, hoping he’d snap out of this. “okay okay…” he chuckles. “first just straddle me—it’ll be easier that way..” he urges, patting his lap. you nod, grabbing his shoulders to adjust yourself on his lap. “comfortable?” he assures, finding your eyes so that he could really see if you were okay.

“m’fine…” you nod, smiling faintly but still evidently. “good..” he smiles, tucking your hair behind your ears. “ready?” he asks, running a thumb over your bottom lip.

“yes…” you nod, your skin flush against his own. “open your mouth slightly for me…” he says softly, biting his lip. you do what he says, slightly opening your mouth, inviting him in.

he slowly leans in, opening his mouth as well capturing your lips in a gentle soft kiss. his hands slide down to your waist squeezing it gently, as you let out a soft whine, softly sliding your tongue in by accident.

matt laughs in the kiss, pulling away, his mouth still hovering over yours. “dirty girl—sure you haven’t kissed a guy before? seems like y’know what y’doin’ to me..” he leans in to bite your bottom lip. you blush as you nudge his shoulder “mattttt” you look away from him shyly. “don’t get all timid now, sweetheart” he tilts your head to look back at him. “y’can’t jus’ kiss me like that on your first kiss and expect me not to tease you.” he smiles mockingly. “you’re a natural, hm?” he bites the inside of his cheek, leaning in to kiss you again, his mouth slightly agape. you lean in too, but just as your lips almost touch matt pulls away wearing a shit eating grin on his face.

“matt! i need to learn!” you whine as you nudge his shoulder, leaning in to kiss him again but he turns his head. “cmon! i need to go soon and i can’t walk into this blind!!” you turn his face back to yours, but as soon as he faces you he grabs both of your hands and pins them to your side. “you’re staying home.” he leans in, his voice in a low possessive growl. “but matt! i need to-“ he interrupts “no.” he scoffs, his whole demeanor different. he was jealous?

“i have wanted you like this for years” he pecks your lips, still pinning your hands down. “i can’t let you go tonight..you’re mine.” he growls, pressing his forehead to yours. this broke something inside of you, deep down you have always felt some type of way towards matt, never had acted on it until you needed to ‘learn how to kiss’.

you really didn’t know how to kiss, why not have your best friend be your first kiss? first experience? now you needed him, you knew now that whatever feelings you were trying to hide away and deny yourself of, were coming to light.

your gaze wide and naive as matt’s eyes bleed into yours, not breaking eye contact. “say you’re mine.” he lets go of your hands, grabbing your face with both of them now. “matt—“ you pause “please..” you didn’t know what you were even asking of him, but you couldn’t admit this when you had another guy waiting. well you could, but you didn’t want to let your guard down. “say it.” he urges, roughly pecking your lips. oh he was hungry.

you whimper, trying to deny yourself of saying it. not having very much willpower anymore, his expression and hold on you cracking you. “i can feel you throbbing against me, baby..that tells me everything that i need to know..” he bites his lip. “i’m yours..” you blurt, finally losing self control.

“fuck..” he groans, closing the gap between you two as he roughly kisses you, bound to bruise your lips. you moan in the kiss as his hands leave your face and move down to your waist again.

he pulls away, “all fuckin’ mine..” he growls again, biting your bottom lip earning a soft whimper from you. “that guy wouldn’t be able to treat you like i can” he grumbles, pressing a messy kiss to your open mouth.

“so pretty…all f’me..” he coos, caressing your hair.

a/n: rushed at the end, needed to post something.

tags: @starrii-sturns @sturns-mermaid @emely9274 @hjvi @chrepsi @chrisstomach @izzylovesmatt @mattssslutbby @chrisslut04 @fratbrochrisgf @sturnsxbitvh @grace-sturnz @divinesturn @sturniolo-szn2 @riasturns @chrissweetheart @whore4chris @jensturnss @riggysworld @h3arts4nat @lvrsturniolo @trustinsturniolos @chrxsprettygirl @mialovesyouchris @fictionalboysstuff @iloveduckssm @eeyoresturnz @sturniolosymphony @whore4-chrissturniolo @sturnvdds @eviep4l

fresh love

you can’t stand him.

chris with the cocky smirk and the silver chain that dangles when he leans over the editing table. chris with the backwards hat and the voice that always sounds like it’s one second away from saying something condescending. chris who thinks his little clothing company makes him creative. chris who thinks he knows everything.

you hate him. you hate the way he looks at you like you’re a challenge. like he’s already won.

so you kiss him first.

you’re arguing—again. about lighting, about the thumbnail, about how he said “people only click when you’re in the video ‘cause you look fuckable.”

and before you can even register it, you shove him. and he laughs. actually laughs.

you shove him hard enough that his back hits the edge of the editing table.

he’s still laughing when he grabs your wrist.

“careful,” he mutters, tugging you in by the waistband of your jeans. “you keep touching me like that, i’m gonna start thinking you like me.”

“fuck off.”

“you first.”

and then you’re kissing—if you can call it that.

it’s not romantic. it’s not soft. it’s teeth and tongue and a bite to his bottom lip just to shut him up. he groans, low and deep, but doesn’t let you win. pushes back with just as much bite, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth hard enough to bruise.

his hands are already up your shirt—calloused fingers skating over your ribs, not even pretending to be gentle. he palms your tits through your bra, rough and greedy, like he’s doing it to prove a point.

“these look better up close,” he says smugly, mouth against your jaw.

“choke.”

“you’d like that.”

your jeans are on the floor in seconds. he doesn’t even bother to help you step out of them—just drags your underwear down your thighs, then lifts you up onto the table like it’s nothing. your legs spread instinctively, knees bumping against the cold edge of the desk. he’s already undoing his belt with one hand, still looking at you like he owns the room.

“no foreplay?” you snap, breathless.

he spits on his fingers. drags them through your folds once—just once—and smirks.

“you’re already soaked. don’t act like this isn’t what you wanted.”

he’s right and you hate him for it.

you don’t get a second to adjust. he slides in in one long, brutal thrust and you choke on your own breath, back arching, hands scrambling for purchase on the edge of the table.

“still wanna act like you don’t want me?” he grits, holding your hips still while he pushes deeper.

“still wanna act like you’re good at this?” you throw back, even as your legs tremble.

he thrusts hard—once, twice, sharp and fast and punishing—and you gasp, fingernails digging into the wood behind you. the table creaks with every movement, your thighs shaking from the force of it.

his hand wraps around your throat, not tight, just enough to make you look at him.

“say it.”

“say what?”

“that you need me.”

you grin, wild and breathless.

“you’re fucking delusional.”

his thumb brushes your clit, finally, and your head slams back against the table.

“keep running your mouth,” he growls. “see where it gets you.”

he fucks you mean. brutal rhythm, no tenderness, just sweat and noise and the ugly slap of skin on skin. one hand around your throat, the other gripping your thigh hard enough to bruise. every thrust drags a desperate sound out of you no matter how hard you bite your lip.

“you’re so fucking loud,” he mutters, breath hot against your neck.

“you’re the one making me—fuck—”

“yeah. exactly. say thank you.”

“go to hell.”

he laughs, kisses you hard, and pulls out just long enough to flip you over—bent over the table now, cheek pressed to the cold surface, ass up for him.

you glance back at him, dazed and furious and wet between the thighs.

“if you don’t make me come this time, i swear to god—”

he slaps your ass.

“then shut up and let me do it.”

he fucks you deeper from this angle, hitting that spot that makes your knees buckle, your body rocking forward with every thrust. your moans come out garbled, fucked-out, your slick dripping down your thigh. his fingers find your clit again, circling with just enough pressure to make your legs tremble.

“so cocky,” you pant, barely able to breathe.

“you make it too easy.”

your orgasm hits hard—legs shaking, fists clenched on the table, a strangled cry tearing from your throat before you can stop it.

he groans behind you, biting down on your shoulder as he spills inside, still moving, still too much.

after, he pulls out, tugs his jeans back up, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand like he just finished a meal.

you’re still bent over the table, trying to remember how to speak.

he tosses your underwear at you like a tissue.

“you left these.”

“fuck you.”

“you already did.”

you slide them back on, shaky legs and sore thighs, and glare at him while fixing your shirt.

“this doesn’t mean anything.”

he shrugs, already heading for the door.

“never said it did. i still think you’re annoying as shit.”

“and i still think your little brand is ugly.”

he pauses at the door, smirks over his shoulder.

“then stop cumming on everything i wear.”

you flip him off.

he winks.

and you’re both thinking the same thing.

you’ll do it again.

taglist . . . @sturniolo-szn2, @trustinsturniolos, @whore4-chrissturniolo, @rockastic, @j21l91, @courta13, @emma12345sworld, @maekieuwu, @norahsturns, @sturniszn, @pip4444chris, @angeliccumslut, @tezzzzzzzz, @angel-sturn1, @stvnsthings, @justforbradpitt, @cayleeuhithinknott, @sturnsxbitvh

stasia speaks . . . idk

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