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Caffeine Entity Supreme

@teapoliceweewooweewoo

If you yap at me about memes I'll be your friend for the next forever. AAAAAAAAAAAAA

ilyaaaa ☺️<3 ... concussion >:[ and a fractured collarbone :/ out for the playoffs but 🤗 could have been worse 😌☝️ ... i know 🙄 part of the game 🙄 we all get our bell 🔔 rung eventually right? 😊 ... heyy:) heyyyyyyyy:))) ... yes<3 bet-ter🥰🥰 ... i'm sorry i didn't text you last night 😔 ... i was excited about last night ☝️ i'm mostly mad 😠 at marleau for fucking that up 🙄😏 ... you know i had a whole plan to ask you something❗️... i was gonna ask you ☝️❗️ Will You cometomycottage this summer? 🥰🏡 ❌️don't❌️ go to russia🇷🇺 come to my houseee 😤💞 we'll have so much fun :D it's so private :D no one will knoww :D ... mmmwe could have a week💕 or even two✌️💕 we'd be completely alone 👯‍♂️💞 ~✨️together✨️~ ... oh no 🙄😒 ... ok bye bye 👋☺️ ... 🫡see you next season🫡 ... thank u😊<3 i appreciate it😤<3 ... hellooo😁

you can never go back. this is your one life. you had a bad childhood and that's it. you lost your teen years to mental illness and that's it. you're miserable in your 20s and that's it. you just go forward

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

Ilya meeting Shane's parents must be insane for them like. Mr Ilya "The Terminator" Rozanov, terror on ice and menace in bed, politely stands there. Your very shy son admonishes him for using the word "lovers" and Russia's Greatest Rage Machine just takes it.

You ask when this started and Mister Dickhead makes sure Shane is accurate about when they started this. How dare you stave off half a year of us, Shane?

You ask if they talked to Scott Hunter and Ra Ra Rasputin says that he, famous asshole extraordinaire went to talk to Patron Saint of Hockey Gays to offer him congratulations.

You ask if he has no loyalty to Boston and Mr Fucking Fuck San Francisco is like. Nyet

Your son is having a panic attack and Miike Snow Genghis Khan calls them "boyfriends" and it's your own extremely shy and sensitive and loving son that is like MY WHAT

i'm reading a book about seventh century northumbria and you've heard of the tiffany problem but let me tell you there is nothing quite like reading through 350 pages calibrating for names like Oswiu and Æthelfrith and Paeda and Ecgfrith and Eanflæd and then getting smacked in the face with the fucking Bishop Chad

Chad and Tiffany, just as big a deal in the 1980s as they were in the 980s

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