cisgender perisex people shouldn't be allowed to use the terms AMAB and AFAB.

they literally always end up using AMAB synonymously with "someone who has male privilege", as well as randomly guessing people's AGAB and dividing people into AMAB and AMAB. i know other people are guilty of this too, but cisgender perisex people in particular have a lot more power when it comes to this and they have absolutely no reason to use this language, especially to describe other people.

i have yet to see a cisgender perisex use of these terms that isn't reductive, incorrect or borderline TERFy.

especially from cisgender perisex women, i see this a lot, they go around assuming that nonbinary person who has done something bad or said something they don't like must "be AMAB". the "nonbinary person who is too outspoken" to "evil male privileged AMAB" thought process is really common and it's really TERFy. it's "we can always tell" but they think they can tell from someone's anonymous online presence. we know they can't even tell from pictures. it's also worth noting how this kind of language is disproportionately used against nonbinary and intersex people to either paint us as male privileged people who can't stay in their lane, or little bitches who need to shut up. people don't like that the terms "nonbinary" and "intersex" don't make a statement on what genitals you were born with, so they constantly feel like they have to make that assignment themselves.

there's also something really insidious about using "AMAB" to mean "more privileged than me, a cisgender perisex woman", when the very people they use this term for are nonbinary people, intersex people and even transgender women, all people who cisgender perisex women have privilege over.

and in the same vein they'll treat "AFAB people" like female traitors who are too privileged, when again, nonbinary people, intersex people and transgender men are still more marginalised than cisgender perisex women.

the amount of times i've seen a cisgender perisex person weaponise AGAB language against someone who called them out on something - exorsexism or otherwise - and who also happened to be openly nonbinary is concerning, especially because they hide behind "calling out misogyny in our communities", all while speculating on what genitals people more marginalised than them were born with like the TERFy weirdos they are. this has happened to me more times than i can count because i'm loud about exorsexism, ableism, allosexism, antifatness and more, and it happens all the time to so many more of us, especially those of us who are multiply marginalised. i've had pericis disabled people for example assume my AGAB and weaponise it against me in the name of "fighting misogyny in the community" because they essentially think i'm too anti-ableist.

needless to say that most of the time they guess wrong anyway because they have nothing to go off most of the time and even with pictures they definitely can't "always tell".

when you're a trans, nonbinary and/or intersex person, you basically can't call out any pericis person's bigotry because they absolutely will use your (supposed) AGAB against you, and if they're part of an oppressed group, they will hide behind that to say it's okay.

there's nothing weirder than having random strangers make assumptions on what genitals you were born with or had forced on you as an infant, because that's ultimately what it comes down to. AGAB doesn't inherently say anything about how someone grew up, their life experiences etc, but pericis people have never been here for nuance, just binaries.

cisgender perisex people shouldn't be allowed to use the terms AMAB and AFAB.

they literally always end up using AMAB synonymously with "someone who has male privilege", as well as randomly guessing people's AGAB and dividing people into AMAB and AMAB. i know other people are guilty of this too, but cisgender perisex people in particular have a lot more power when it comes to this and they have absolutely no reason to use this language, especially to describe other people.

i have yet to see a cisgender perisex use of these terms that isn't reductive, incorrect or borderline TERFy.

especially from cisgender perisex women, i see this a lot, they go around assuming that nonbinary person who has done something bad or said something they don't like must "be AMAB". the "nonbinary person who is too outspoken" to "evil male privileged AMAB" thought process is really common and it's really TERFy. it's "we can always tell" but they think they can tell from someone's anonymous online presence. we know they can't even tell from pictures. it's also worth noting how this kind of language is disproportionately used against nonbinary and intersex people to either paint us as male privileged people who can't stay in their lane, or little bitches who need to shut up. people don't like that the terms "nonbinary" and "intersex" don't make a statement on what genitals you were born with, so they constantly feel like they have to make that assignment themselves.

there's also something really insidious about using "AMAB" to mean "more privileged than me, a cisgender perisex woman", when the very people they use this term for are nonbinary people, intersex people and even transgender women, all people who cisgender perisex women have privilege over.

and in the same vein they'll treat "AFAB people" like female traitors who are too privileged, when again, nonbinary people, intersex people and transgender men are still more marginalised than cisgender perisex women.

the amount of times i've seen a cisgender perisex person weaponise AGAB language against someone who called them out on something - exorsexism or otherwise - and who also happened to be openly nonbinary is concerning, especially because they hide behind "calling out misogyny in our communities", all while speculating on what genitals people more marginalised than them were born with like the TERFy weirdos they are. this has happened to me more times than i can count because i'm loud about exorsexism, ableism, allosexism, antifatness and more, and it happens all the time to so many more of us, especially those of us who are multiply marginalised. i've had pericis disabled people for example assume my AGAB and weaponise it against me in the name of "fighting misogyny in the community" because they essentially think i'm too anti-ableist.

needless to say that most of the time they guess wrong anyway because they have nothing to go off most of the time and even with pictures they definitely can't "always tell".

when you're a trans, nonbinary and/or intersex person, you basically can't call out any pericis person's bigotry because they absolutely will use your (supposed) AGAB against you, and if they're part of an oppressed group, they will hide behind that to say it's okay.

For a while I always wanted to achieve gender neutrality but now, I don’t even know what I want anymore.

First I thought i was genderfluid

Then I thought I was a trans man

Then I thought I was just non binary

But now?

I dont even know where my gender stands. I like that my physical appearance is easy to alter through stuff like makeup and clothes to easily look more feminine and masculine or even just androgynous, but at the same time I don’t really want to put a binary thingy on my gender

Neutrality for me implies that there is still a binary, just a less rigid one. Its the middle of that binary. My gender doesn’t fall under any sort of “binary” spectrum.

is this me discovering that im actually maverique???????

i dont even fully understand what maverique is, if someone could explain it I would really appreciate it. For a while we’ve been debating if non binary was even the right label for us but we just gave up looking for one until now where we now are requestioning everything again.

Do I actually want neutrality or am I just seeking it because I don’t feel comfortable in anything else because my parents ruined femininity for me and masculinity feels off to my brain because it doesn’t fit what I actually want. Neutrality doesn’t even give me a sense of identity, it just feels like a little shelter/barrier from feeling dysphoria but is not anything that genuinely gives me euphoria.

I get more euphoria from dressing up like a fantasy whimsical character than attempting to look completely gender neutral. Maybe thats just my kintypes coming into play but whenever I dress up as something whimsical and colorful (even if its technically leaning more on a feminine or masculine way), I feel a lot better.

Trying to use neutrality to keep dysphoria out is like trying to take melatonin for sleep. At first it works really well but then it slowly stops working the more you do it unless you try hard enough but even then it doesn’t give you the benefit anymore because it doesn’t meet your expectations. (Weird analogy but i used that cuz we take a lot of melatonin and it now does nothing except make us slightly less paranoid at night and it was what made the most sense when talking about my experience)

Idk, I just see neutrality like a makeshift answer rather than an actual solution for my gender. I don’t think I am doing gender right.

also lowkey, the maverique flag is epic. I would love to turn it into a button badge when I get the chance and put it on my school bag. I need more pride pins n shit.

without the big words found in some definitions, maverique is a gender that is detached from both binary genders and anything related to or in between, it's not agender or neutral, as it's distinctly gendered.

it's kind of hard to explain unless it's actually something you experience, i think. for me i realised i was maverique because i felt a dissatisfaction with the label agender. i used it because i thought it was the only way to express that i'm equally distant from both male and female. over time i found myself moving away from agender and more to just nonbinary. i did have a gender, i just couldn't conceptualise it yet until the term maverique expanded my understanding of gender. Vesper, the person who coined maverique, had identified as neutrois before and has also expressed dissatisfaction with the term, feeling like it didn't quite fit.