first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

DO YOU GUYS NOT FUCK WITH THE SKULL OF JUDGEMENT ANYMORE

some bard named Gerardus Arthur of Waye: damn that’s sucks i should go write music

god i wish i could hit an elf with my car it would be so awesome

Why does your dad sound like a fae tempting you with forbidden fruit knowing that if you eat some you’ll be trapped in the fae realm

Excellent suggestions phone

op are you by any chance a dracula

great, my post is in some sort of dungeon

"Nobody is coming to save you" WRONG! I am running late. I DO NOT have a HORSE!

[ID: A knight in full plate armor riding a bus. End ID]

•

can you guys stop dropping your •juggling balls all over my posts •

Cropping out their logo because fuck giving them free advertising, but this random ad was still too funny. You can do anything, fulfill your wildest dreams, like being literally just some guy.

Ah, yes, I see you’ve taken notice of the fine knight I keep dangling in a big gilded cage above my evil throne. Quite the pretty little ornament the would be savior makes, wouldn’t you agree~?

What? No, it IS a big cage. That’s- it’s the standard size for a knight’s cage I’m pretty sure. NO I’m not going to invest in 500 square feet of dungeon, it’s ONE knight! I’m pretty sure knights live in hovels in the wild anyways which is basically the same- Look, the cage is quite literally gilded. He loves the cage! He loves obediently preening in the cage! Yeah well, when you capture your own knight you can keep it in whatever size castle you want to, but this one’s mine. Especially since you’re so obviously jealous of me and my cute and awesome knight anyway.

He loves the cage!

Apple Bottomjeans is a beautiful gname for a gnome

Boots Witherfur is a joyful gname for this gnome’s friend

Baggysweat Pants and Reebok Switherstraps are the two orcs that are hunting them

I'm a survivor of the terror attacks who lived 4 blocks east of the World Trade Center. I lost my home that day, spent years homeless and destitute, and I carry a Zadroga Act diagnosis of 9/11-connected PTSD. If anyone who's doing this RP needs character coaching or if you need help with authentic scenarios, I'm available for consulting services at reasonable rates. DM me here or leave your number on the men's room wall at any leather bar and it'll get to me in 24 hours. Happy 9/11 y'all, and remember fireworks are unsafe and illegal in most jurisdictions.

The semester just started AMA

AMA closed I need to be alone with this person

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

and then after that is THE SKELETON WAR

okay im gonna hypnotize you with my ruby amulet now DONT BE WEIRD ABOUT IT. im doing this to make you betray the king. IT IS NOT A SEX THING

I think the fact that you immediately thought about clarifying it’s not a sex thing kinda makes it sound like it is a sex thing.

FOOL. i would be using my sex amulet for that