kroger brand tortilla chips on deck

this room averages out to a normal writing speed.

Maria Skłodowska-Curie's notebooks are crazy once you think about it. They're so radioactive they have to be sealed in a lead box. Imagine a world where atomic theory is forgotten and a dude just goes "yea there's a book that details the secrets of the universe, the machinations of the creation of existence down to its barest essentials, but if you get close to it you fucking die. The more you read it the more your body slowly disassembles into mush." like wat excuse me

I love "never kill yourself!!!" as a declaration about good news like. However it comes with the unshakeable curse of "not suitable for all group situations."

Our favorite lunch spot near the office is coming back after it closed last year and never kill y--never k--neve--yay 🙂🎉 yay fellow coworkers 🙂🎉yay my fellow coworkers I work with 🙂🎉yay Teams chat

A tourist is hiking through the Scottish Highlands and stops to take a drink from a stream. 

He hears a voice call out "Dinnae drink frae that, meester, it's a' fu' o' coo piss an' shite!".

Turning, the hiker sees a Scottish shepherd leaning on a stick, and he replies "I'm terribly sorry, but could you kindly repeat that in the King's English?"

And the shepherd says "Two hands sir - cup your two hands together or you'll spill it!"

JEFF!!!!!!

I like the idea in fantasy that humans are better at maintaining things long term because they set up societies or professions to do it whereas dwarves and elves and stuff are like “just get bob to do it he’s got a good few hundred years left” and then bob doesn’t teach anyone else how to do it

Elf: How have you kept this castle maintained for a thousand years if your lives are so short?

Human: We just train new people how to do it?

Elf: *gears visibly turning in their head*

Human: Are you alright?

Elf: I just realized that we didn’t have to let that whole city fall to ruin just because my grandfather died.

Human: What?

Human: Wait that’s why there’s ruins of elven cities even though you live for so long? You just keep not asking people how to do things? How do you learn anything?

Elf: There’s a lot of “you’ve got time to figure it out on your own” attitudes floating around in our society that I’m starting to question somewhat.

Elf: That sword, where did you get it?

Human: My cousin made it.

Elf: Impossible! Those metalworking techniques were lost a hundred years ago!

Human: What do you mean lost? My great-grandmother learned to make these swords from an elven smith, then taught it to her kids.

Elf: That's ridiculous. No elf would give such secrets to a human.

Human: They didn't. Meemaw delivered the metal to the forge, and no one kicked her out when she stayed and watched. She always said they barely acknowledged her even when doing business with her, like she wasn't worth noticing.

Elf: Come to think of it, my great-uncle always was rather single-minded when he started working.

Human: So he wasn't ignoring her, he just forgot she was there?

Elf: Oh, he was definitely ignoring her, too. He was super racist.

I wonder if there would be laws against discrimination according to daemon in the HDM/Golden Compass world, by the modern era

“Her daemon’s a snake. Pass”

“Why”

“All snakes are liars”

“Suzanne, this is the biggest, yellowest snake I’ve ever seen. Suzanne, there is no way this giant banana has a deceptive bone in his body. Suzanne. Suzanne he has a hat”

"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife

you're allowed to say "sex" on the internet. See? I just did it. Sex. Sex sex sex. You don't have to say s*x or smex or Adult Fun Times or s3x or "spice" any other variation of self-censorship on tumblr dot com you can just spell out the word SEX i am going to scream until the heat death of the universe

Is this real? I didn't want to Google it.

It's by an artist who does fake signs around Edinburgh and Glasgow — you can find them on instagram as asignofhumour

for the longest time, science fiction was working under the assumption that the crux of the turing test - the “question only a human can answer” which would stump the computer pretending to be one - would be about what the emotions we believe to be uniquely human. what is love? what does it mean to be a mother? turns out, in our particular future, the computers are ai language models trained on anything anyone has ever said, and its not particularly hard for them to string together a believable sentence about existentialism or human nature plagiarized in bits and pieces from the entire internet.

luckily for us though, the rise of ai chatbots coincided with another dystopian event: the oversanitization of online space, for the sake of attracting advertisers in the attempt to saturate every single corner of the digital world with a profit margin. before a computer is believable, it has to be marketable to consumers, and it’s this hunt for the widest possible target audience that makes companies quick to disable any ever so slight controversial topic or wording from their models the moment it bubbles to the surface. in our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a human can answer are not about fear of death or affection. instead, it is those that would look bad in a pr teams powerpoint.

if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb?

there's always some bullshit happening on reddit

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

People in the Omegaverse are probably writing Betaverse fanfiction where there is no A/B/O dynamics and everyone just falls in love with eachother's personality instead of pheromones and hormones controlling their desires.

"this would be so good if it was good" might just be my favourite sentence to use when analysing any media

because it's not a meaningless thing to say

some things will always be mid at best, but sometimes things that suck could be so good, if only they were good

like it makes perfect sense when you break it down!!

"this would be so good if it was good" - this media is only a few small changes away from being very good, instead of a complete rewrite. the framework is strong or the setting is interesting or the concept of intriguing, but something else hobbles it.

It’s about the potential. The bones are good or the concept is interesting, but the execution is dogshit.

D&D character idea: Wizard, but Chidi Anagonye

“Is it more ethical to cast fireball at these goblins (of which there are twelve) OR let the goblins kill my three companions?? If we consider the utilitarian view, I should let the goblins win, but if I consider contractualism I did agree to adventure with these people and should protect them. But is any violence truly just? Must we enact harm to further our goals???”

Meanwhile Eleanor’s killed them already and Chidi’s actually a bard who confuses people with his long tirades on hypothetical ethics (he’s SURE he’s a wizard)

#the good place#crying#chidi has studied so much magic. he has an entire spellbook. he understands the THEORY down to the exact consistency of chalk he needs#he has never (on purpose) cast a single spell in his life#he has no idea he is casting Confusion and giving inspiration almost constantly#(also: I think the others are up for debate but Jason is 10 000% a wild magic sorcerer)#(I think my pulls for the others would Eleanor as a rogue#almost certainly multiclassing with something. maybe she’s a roguelock and Michael is unintentionally her patron 😂#tahani……. hear me out. tahani is a barbarian#tahani is a barbarian who is DESPERATELY PRETENDING she’s a sorcerer or a wizard#depending on which of those is more respectable in the setting#through a feat or a subclass or something she can do like two cantrips#and she buys crazy expensive magic items that let her cast spells through them#but at the end of the day it is her simmering rage that her natural talents have NEVER BEEN ENOUGH#that really fuel her#and she so BADLY wants to kick someone’s head in about it) tags via @thatgirlonstage

I think Michael and Janet would be NPCs that become more fleshed out DMPCs to complement the party. Michael would be a paladin who thinks he's a cleric (sees himself as the mouthpiece of Satan or whoever but really he's powered by his and the gang's ideals). This might be too meta but Janet would be an artificer/ranger who thinks she's an NPC (she's an expert on everything around her but she insists that she's just a tool to help the party with no way to grow on her own, despite leveling up like the rest of them)

“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

The “+” in LGBTQ+ is for math.

It’s literally been years since anyone added something slightly clever or original to this post, so I would like to congratulate you and maybe even bestow some kind of award. I don’t have anything to give you though

It was simple addition, really.

how it all feels lately

yeah actually this was a very literal piece of vent art bc i got a notification about cheese recalls while making dinner :') might as well add the info since i didnt expect so many people to share my doodle

Article date: January 8, 2026