Hi!I’m new to the Beatles (especially Mclennon) fandom and I just wanted to say that your posts have been incredibly helpful and insightful!

While doing some reading on my own, I came across information about Paul’s second marriage to Heather Mills, which ended quite badly. I have to admit, I find it somewhat unsettling that he entered that relationship so soon after Linda’s death. Of course, it’s entirely possible that he was grieving deeply and needed someone to fill that void, but when I encounter comments like “he simply didn’t love her enough,” I find it hard to completely dismiss them. Plus, there’s the Linda tapes, which he reportedly bought from Peter Cox for a very high price (I read about this in a news article). Heather’s accusations of abuse are another troubling aspect. While the judge ruled her testimony unreliable, the absence of definitive proof doesn’t necessarily mean that nothing happened. Given Paul’s heavy drinking and marijuana use, I don’t think the possibility of violence can be ruled out. There are rumors that Paul abused Linda as well (mentally/physically).

And Peter Cox again, he described Paul as unhappy, frustrated, suspicious of other people’s motives, which feels a bit unsettling as well. Peter also provided this classic Mclennon line “he always talks about John in the present tense”, which I find both deeply moving and heartbreaking. Actually I have no doubt of Paul’s love for John. I believe that he loved (and hated, since they had a complicated relationship) him as an equal, and still loves him now. With Linda, though, I sometimes feel their relationship was somewhat unbalanced. In a sense, it can feel as though he “used” her, not necessarily in a malicious way, and perhaps understandably given the times, but it still feels a bit disturbing to me, if that makes sense. After all, Paul has always been very careful about preserving his public image and, unlike John, rarely admitted his flaws openly. We all know how awful John could be at times. But the possibility that Paul might be far worse than he appears is unsettling, because it inevitably makes people wonder how much he has chosen to hide.

So I was wondering if you’d be willing to share your perspective on Paul’s marriages with Linda and Heather. If you don’t mind, I’d also love to hear your thoughts on Peter Cox’s description of Paul’s character. (I’ve read about your posts about Paul and Linda, but could you please elaborate a bit? And I haven’t seen many discussions of Paul and Heather on this platform, so I’d be especially interested in your thoughts there)

I'm always a bit reluctant to talk about Paul's (or John's) marriages for many reasons, but here we go.

Yes, I definitely think Paul rushed into marrying Heather, even though I don’t doubt he had feelings for her. He was still grieving Linda very deeply when he married her; Heather herself has said so. It’s also been reported that he didn’t remove his wedding ring from his marriage to Linda until shortly before the wedding. When Howard Stern asked Paul why he remarried so quickly, he answered along the lines of, “Maybe I just like being married”. It seems clear to me that after nearly thirty years with Linda, he was someone who didn’t want to be alone. I can understand that, but at the same time, he ignored a lot of red flags. His children didn’t like Heather at all, and James has said that this created a serious rift between them and that he went years without speaking to his father because of it. There's also an account from a resort staff describing arguments between Paul and Heather (this was some time before the wedding). They said they heard them arguing loudly, Paul yelled, "I don't want to marry you!!", and Heather reportedly threw her engagement ring out the window. The next morning she sent some staff to look for it, claiming it was an accident. So their relationship already seemed volatile before the marriage even happened. As for Heather’s later allegations of abuse: the judge in the divorce proceedings explicitly ruled her testimony unreliable. On top of that, several people who knew her have publicly described her as someone who lied frequently, even about minor things (one of them said that if Heather told him it was raining, he still had to go outside and check if it was true). Because of this I personally find her allegations difficult to accept at face value. That said, since none of us were present in their private life, I can’t claim absolute certainty either.

Regarding Heather’s claim that Paul physically abused Linda, I don’t find that credible at all. When those allegations surfaced, Stella reportedly reacted very angrily, screaming, "That fucking bitch!!", and Linda’s close friends have said these claims upset them deeply, since Linda confided in them about personal matters and never described Paul like that. That doesn’t prove anything definitively, of course, but it suggests the claim doesn’t align with what those closest to her believed. That said, I do think Paul and Linda had a turbulent marriage at times. Both of them, many times, described their relationship as “volatile,” “up and down,” and said that "marriage wasn't a sweet subject at all". Paul even said that if anyone had looked at their marriage at any point over the years, they would have thought that it wouldn’t last (and Linda added, "it still might not last"). In Many Years From Now, Paul said that it was a miracle they made it. After Linda’s death, Paul spoke openly about feeling haunted by memories of arguments and moments where he felt he “wasn’t so nice,” and he sought therapy to "get rid of his guilt". Knowing Paul’s tendency to understate things, those comments suggest their conflicts could sometimes be intense and emotionally painful — not physical abuse, but serious arguments that left a mark on both of them. This is also why I tend to take Peter Cox’s perspective seriously, particularly because he knew them during the late 80s and early 90s, a period when their relationship was especially strained (and this was the time when Paul and Linda would often talk about their marriage using the terms I just mentioned). Peter describes Linda as feeling frustrated and emotionally worn down, and he recalled visiting the house and sometimes finding Linda in tears. So it’s possible the tapes reflected those difficulties — not physical abuse, but the emotional exhaustion of a marriage going through a difficult phase (and Paul obviously didn't want them to be made public during the media circus of his divorce from Heather). Over the years, there have also been second-hand claims (including from people active in the old Rec.Music.Beatles community) that Paul and Linda sometimes lived separately under the same roof during rough patches. We can’t verify that with certainty, but given how openly they described the ups and downs of their marriage, it doesn’t seem impossible (there's an interview where Paul was asked if it was true that they never spent a night a part besides his jail time in Japan, and Paul said, "Well, it isn't quite like that"). Paul has often been described by people who worked with or knew him as intense, moody, often controlling, resistant to criticism, and deeply driven — qualities that can be very difficult in a marriage, especially during the emotionally difficult period after John’s death. I can easily imagine how all of that put pressure on their relationship. Even so, I don’t doubt that Paul and Linda loved each other very deeply (even Peter Cox said so). They had a long-lasting marriage and a close-knit family, something extremely rare in celebrity life. Their relationship wasn’t a fairy-tale — it was real, flawed, sometimes painful, and also profoundly committed and enduring.

Now, about what you said regarding Paul “using” Linda. I don’t really like that word, but I do think it’s undeniable that part of the reason he moved on with her so quickly, and married her not that long after they began dating seriously, was at least partly a reaction to John being with Yoko. Paul himself said that he and John “spurred each other into marriage,” and that he felt left out when John became so intensely involved with Yoko. Maggie has also recalled that around this time Paul suddenly seemed desperate to settle down, which likely had a lot to do with John being with Yoko. Emotionally, Paul was in a very vulnerable and unstable place in 68–69, dating several women at once. So although I don’t doubt he genuinely liked Linda and did have feelings for her already at that time, I don’t think he was in an emotionally steady enough state to experience a mature, grounded kind of love yet. And even Paul didn’t seem fully sure about marrying her. His behavior in the days before the wedding really reflects that. Paul has also admitted recently that he didn’t really know Linda when they got married. And If you look at interviews from Paul in the mid-60s, he often sounded uncertain about marriage in general; he said he didn’t know whether he would ever settle down. Even though he proposed to Jane, both of them clearly had doubts, and their relationship had a lot of unresolved issues. Paul wasn’t ready to commit yet, and he also likely understood that marriage would affect his relationship with John in a significant way. John and Paul did seem to "use" their partners, in a sense, as emotional weapons against each other — a way of saying, “Look, I have someone else now.” You can see that dynamic reflected in “Too Many People,” especially in the last verse:"That was your last mistake,I found my love awake,I’m waiting to be —Now what can be done for you? She’s waiting for me." So yes, their marriages were absolutely entangled with their emotional games. That said, I’d genuinely like to hear more about why you think Paul “used” Linda, since you didn’t elaborate, and why you see their relationship as unbalanced. I do have my own opinions about that, but I’d rather understand your reasoning first and then see whether I agree.

As for Peter Cox’s description of Paul — parts of it do sound exaggerated, and you can see that he genuinely doesn't like Paul, but things like Paul’s eyes looking “dead inside,” his moodiness, and Linda repeatedly saying he was a “very frustrated man” (without elaborating) are consistent with the emotional state Paul was in after John’s death. This is one of the reasons why the 80s and early 90s seem to have been such a difficult period in their marriage. I’ve talked before about how many of Paul’s interviews from that time reflect unresolved grief. Like you mentioned, Peter Cox said Paul often talked about John in the present tense — and that happened the very first day he met Paul and Linda. Paul took him for a walk around the garden and just started talking about John non-stop: “John says this… John thinks that…” Paul later admitted in the 90s that he had "tried to pretend John hadn’t died" (and he brought this up completely unprompted. The interviewer was asking about something else, yet Paul just drifted there emotionally). That kind of unresolved grief clearly affected his behavior and absolutely took a toll on his marriage. Around that same time, Bob Spitz visited Paul and asked when he missed John the most — and Paul couldn’t even answer. He just broke down. Spitz said he believed John’s death killed a part of Paul, and honestly I don’t doubt that at all. So the change in Paul’s demeanor in the 1980s makes sense in that context, and I think that’s largely what Peter Cox was observing.

Now on to Paul’s personality. Paul himself admitted that unlike John, he didn’t like talking about his "warts", and that for much of the 50s and 60s he basically thought of himself as “without flaws.” I don’t really understand the idea you mentioned, of wondering “how much he chose to hide” — of course he didn’t air every personal flaw or emotional issue publicly. Most people wouldn’t, especially not celebrities. Those traits are revealed more through what others who knew him personally have said. And indeed, while many people who know him have described him as considerate, kind, polite, driven, and a genius, many others have said he's short-tempered, suspicious of other people’s motives, careless, controlling, not tolerating criticism, and surprisingly insensitive at times. People who worked with him have said they were sometimes afraid to be honest because Paul could react sharply. One person said that when he mildly criticized a vocal take, Paul snapped back, “When did you write your last number one?” Geoff Emerick also said Paul took offense easily. Someone with that temperament can be very difficult to live with, especially in a marriage.

So those are my thoughts, based on what we know and what we can reasonably infer. Paul is neither the saint nor some sinister figure, just a complicated person whose relationships reflected both his strengths and his flaws. And of course, part of that complexity comes from the fact that he never truly recovered from John’s loss; their bond, and the grief that followed, remained a constant presence in his life and affected many aspects of it, including his demeanor and his relationships with other people. He’s also someone who, when he's in an emotionally vulnerable state, has a tendency to move fast instead of slowing down — this pattern is apparent in how John’s relationship with Yoko pushed him toward marriage, and again when he married Heather while still grieving Linda, because he didn’t want to be alone.