everything posted to this blog is 100% true

my giant mechanical crab monster is the only way to save california city

i just scared the last fearpig

it's actually so crazy that it's 2027 already. 2026 was literally like. 3 days long lol

FACT: californians love to stomp baby turtle eggs. it is a time-honoured national passtime

my spider gets upset unless i feed it the finest quality spider pellets

i still remember when i was a little kid the first time my parents let me cut the chunks off of the dinnerbeast for dinner

my new "nightmare bomb" has just been made illegal by the foul yankee regime

i cloned markiplier. aita

wait everyone literally i just realized next year it's gonna be 4/20 for a whole month

hey turn on the tv something really really bad just happened to the twin towers. like just now

do NOT watch sex videos. it creates mustard gas

scientists have just invented a new chemical called "dog ethanol"

ive been taking people's hamsters and burying them

omg they just arrested the guy who built stonehenge

forgot to check the expiration date on my canned mice and now i have a dinner disease 🙁

here in america we get all of our infoirmation from a sy=trange man named "mr. snorpes"...