There are good trans woman television characters but they're almost always in serious dramas that are about being trans or LGBT+.
Where's the casual trans woman representation? Where's the sitcom with a cast of several characters, one of whom is trans? Where it's explored occasionally but most episodes don't mention it?
I want to see that character on TV and I will write her if I have to.
Trans man ( ftm | he/him ) here! Wanted to say how stoked I was when this-is-transandrophobia promoted your blog which enabled me to find you. Please don't ever listen to the TERF psyops or the misogynistic t mascs/men using the currently heated controversy about transandrophobia as an excuse to hate on trans fems/women. You are more than welcome; you are a boon, a blessing to those who have needed the space you provide. We see you, we appreciate you. Please keep doing the incredible work you do here. 💛
This is genuinely extremely sweet, thank you.
Accidentally put a photo of mod pop here. I cannot take it away.
alt text: a photo drawing of a disgruntled looking person in a bonnet
The fact that when my sister and I went to a meet-up specifically for queer women or fem-aligned people, I (a man who was specifically there NOT TO BE DIRECTLY SPOKEN TO, I was there to translate ASL) was more welcomed and treated as more “apart of the discussion” than she (a queer woman) was. For a while I thought it was just because of ableism but now that I think about it, it’s for sure mostly because she’s trans
This is transgynephobia and transgyne erasure.
Trans women really are seen as guests to womanhood, not actually allowed to be fully a woman, speak on thos experiences, because they're not seen "as real" compared to others.. It is horrible.
I think people misunderstand the term transgynephobia to be talking about trans mascs is because some people assume "gyn" comes from the word "vaGINa"
When I was a young teen, I thought thats where the word came from 😭
That's fair I suppose, I think most school systems are underfunded so I don't think many actually learned much on root words..
/gen
There's gonna be a couple people in this that go by (she/her), so I'm gonna assign numbers to people for easier reading. I'm number 1, by the way. It's my emotional support number right now.
A friend (3) of one of my friends (2) is one of those "all men are pigs" kind of people. I have met with her (3) twice, and those two meetings were drastically different.
I first met her (3) earlier on in my transition, even though I honestly really didn't want to because I already knew about those views of hers (3). But my friend (2) assured me that she (3) is aware I am a woman and she (2) has seen her (3) interact with trans women before, and be very normal to them. Well, with me, she (3) had been very not normal. Wasn't openly bigoted, especially because we were with other friends, but she (3) kept giving me this look and this attitude, and I don't think she (3) ever addressed me directly besides when we shook hands upon introduction.
When I brought this up with my friend (2), she (2) said she (2) noticed it also, but was hesitant to agree with me that it's because she (3) saw me as a man. A pig where it doesn't belong.
I met her (3) again yesterday, because she (3) came up to me and my friend (2) while we were in the uni library. The air immediately grew tense, but only for me. She (3) immediately recognized me, complimented me on my skirt, and... continued to treat me decently (not at all like at first), until we went out separate ways.
My hair was long (at least for a "man") when I first met her (3), but now it's past my shoulders, I wear makeup outside the house, and I feel confident enough to wear long skirts and sometimes this one long-sleeved dress with a skirt down to my knees. I don't pass, but I guess you can say I look more like I am putting in the effort now.
I am almost 100% sure that that's why she (3) treated me kinder. But my friend (2) just says that I'm being too hard on myself, and has concluded the exact opposite of what I have from that interaction. That it was proof it was just something else that made her (3) feel threatened by my presence alone. Plus, "She (3) doesn't even want to be in the same room as [other friend's] boyfriend!"
I feel like I am being gaslit. And it's almost working. Because it has crossed my mind a couple times to be more optimistic about why she (3) treated me that way before (like maybe there's another reason she (3) seemed threatened by my presence), and to be glad that she (3) isn't in whatever mood she (3) was in anymore. To not look a gift horse in the mouth. Because hey, even if she did see me as a scary man invading her space, at least I pass well enough that she (3) doesn't see that anymore, that she now sees an actual trans woman.
(I have half a mind to go look for these other trans women that she (3) was apparently so normal around. Just to prove these suspicions that I have... But I know that's actually weird. and probably fucked up also.)
Anon, I will fully share my opinion here because this is not okay.
Your friend-in-law obviously has some gross issues with masculinity and weird toxic impositions of femininity onto trans women (BEST case scenario btw), and your friend refuses to acknowledge it. She wants to just wave off what YOU are experiencing because the other person is her friend!
A lot of people who are not transfeminized will not notice these things, and if they do they will wave them off. (for whatever reason)
You are being treated weirdly by someone who clearly has weird views on trans women & femininity/masculinity, and your friend is turning a blind eye to this to protect her other friend. It's gross and not okay.
She (your friend) clearly has shown she has a horrible gauge of if people are "normal" around trans women or not, so I am with you in wondering about the others she was around.. Did she treat them just as bad and your friend ignore it or were they just extremely fem & passing?
I presume your friend-in-law is a cis woman? Which does not surprise me. Cis women view us as immigrants to the lands of femininity at best. Mere visitors. They feel like they have a special claim on femininity and womanhood and anyone who wishes to explore it or partake that is an "outsider" needs to be palatable to them, and if they're not they have no issue using the bs-"feminist" anti-masculinity tactics on them.
I am too stupid to explain this in a way that is good, but this is pure transmisogyny.
seen an ask blog post a submission recently and it was a long essay about how anon was just SO scared of penises and could only be with "women & nonbinary people"....
they kept saying "amab transfems" and shit too and said "oh i just only like fem aligned people because vagina"
-
and its like... so we got:
• trans women & fems are now being excluded from both womanhood and femininity
• "women and nonbinary" being used to mean "fem aligned & female"
• just... everything wrong with amab language
• apparently nonbinary people can't be transfem but also they can't be masc aligned or want a penis in any way?? eyebrow raise
and they also said "oh but if someone had bottom surgery i'd date them" but the rest of the language of the post was basically "amab=has a penis and a male body"
idk it was just so gross its hard to sum up but i just hate the weird shit on tumblr
This is transgynephobia. You can have a preference, but it coming out as straight ignorance and insensitivity is not okay.
I don’t have an experience with transmisogyny, just hopping in to say thank you so much for having this account! I’m a trans man who’s trying to learn about his blind spots and the things he doesn’t know about his trans sisters, reading the posts here has made me realize some things that never even occurred to me and that I now try to stay more conscious of.
That's amazing! Hope youre well anon.
Hello! Thank you for having this blog up. You seem like a very pleasant person. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to ask, but do you know how I can support transfem people better? And maybe I'm just not active in communities much as a whole, but how can I make friends with transfem people? (i know that friendships are meant to form naturally, but I realised that, as much as I adore my transfem sisters as a trans dude, I don't have any as friends (out of contact with previous ones) and I'm not sure how to go about finding and befriending them since it seems like that most of them are in transfem-specific spaces and I wouldn't want to intrude.) Keep doing what you do and have a good day!
Hai! First of all tysm!
As to your question, I think the only real way is to try to stay updated on our issues & listen when transfems speak. You have to weed out discourse bs but a lot of posts about transfem issues go under thr radar on tumblr and are left out by a lot of other queers (even other trans people), and it just sucks.. I think listening to transfem voices is probably a must.
Of course, you can always also read transfeminist literature about transfems! Again, you have to sift through out of date &/or ignorant things sometimes -- Transfeminist lit isn't gospel y'know -- but it can help with a better understanding of the issues!
To be honest I have to real tangible advice over "idk make an effort to actively care about us" , because support beyond material ways like donating to people, volunteering at shelters, etcc, all which you should be doing anyways but helps tfems as they are more likely to end up in these situations, is really hard to write about.. I truly am just one person and cannot really say how to do your activism, I only know how I do mine.
ADDITIONAL MOD OPINION:
The friends part is stupid and you were lied to. You will not get a friend in every minority group and thats okay. Just let friendship happen however it happens, you can still fully support us while doing that.
-aplatonic transfem
hello, i was wondering what the difference between transgynephobia and transmisogyny is
Transgynephobia= bigotry that transfeminizes someone, bigotry against the transfeminized. transfeminized bigotry. transgyne=transfeminized, if this makes sense.
Transmisogyny= a word to discuss the unique way transphobia intersecting with misogyny affects transfeminized people, coined by Julia Serano.
Transmisogyny not being searchable and when looking it up you get a transphobic blog recommended. @/transmisogyny uses trans women’s emotions against them and while not misgendering any of the woman they used to attack still borrows from terf talking points.
Atleast inactive since 2013 but still awful.
This is transgynephobia & transmisogyny and definitely something I hate..
If you hate the search part here's what I suggest:
Just use your safari app on your phone (it truly is better than the app anyways, and is what I have always preferred.). The web version doesn't block it the same.
I also suggest everyone starting to use #tmisogyny and #transmisoginy (most popular variants) so more people can see it!
this weird ass reblog (i hid it now) i had under my post of me talking about the invisibility of intersex men... not the internalized transgynephobia 😭
im sending this to you since they (idk the pronouns) implied that trans women are "still male" and "not female", that would be transgynephobic
This is... a lot of things, truly..
But also I remember this blogger's url from when they first started posting I think? It's some radfem blogger who "used" to be a tgirl or whatever, whole blog is disgusting I would just ignore the person entirely.
I was rewatching a move that I loved as a little kid, and turns out it doesn't exactly hold up well. Mainly one character, who's (presumably) a man, large and hairy with a beard. He's supposed to be some sort of comedic relief ......except his entire bit is having a high voice and being cowardly. That's it. He has no lines except screaming and telling people to run, he doesn't serve the plot in any way . It's "funny" because "someone who looks like a man with a women's voice isn't a real thing" ugh. This isnt like a *super* old movie either, definitely not old enough to have the excuse of not knowing better
This is disgusting on many levels!
To all trans men on this site, im gonna put you onto something. If you are in need of a binder but have unsupportive parents or are closeted, if you have a fondness for the ocean, or if youre bored with the normal colors of binder available, go to Waterlust and get a top
As you can see above, theyre all patterned like marine life, but theyre also reversible! One side has the pattern, the other is solid color, and they're all fun colors like blues and reds and greens, but some like the whale and tiger shark ones are more subtle grays and blacks. I have the whale shark one and the spongebob one (which was a limited run), and theyre both very well designed and printed. My spongebob one has served me for roughly four years and it hasn't worn at all.
What really matters? The binding power, and these things are great. I'm a triple D cup and with a medium I look like I have subtle pecs. They're also much less compressive than other binders due to their materials (which are mostly recycled!), so you can wear them for longer without getting sore. When I did more intensive theater and band performances, I could still act, dance, and play bari sax without getting winded or hurting myself. They're also swim tops, and I've scuba dived in these as well comfortably.
If that wasn't all, proceeds from each purchase are donated towards marine conservation and education initiatives! Purchasing shark printed ones specifically donate to shark studies and conservation orgs, parrotfish and coral prints support coral restoration initiatives, and so on. The high price tag is for a good reason.
Overall, if you're looking for an all around good binder, one that matches your whimsey and supports a good cause, Waterlust is the place to go.
helpful on 1,110 days left