last post had me inspired… so here’s teen alpha-17 with some ct ik’aade …!
-plus some other boys!
Prosthetic leg Ezra getting into a fight with prosthetic hand luke. They're play flighting and took their limbs off and running around the base waving them
Leia’s had enough of their shit
crying
user markshotaros going shooters for karl marx
u forgot the best part
This came across my feed a little bit ago so I'm glad I finally have context for it
God, that explains this:
Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-
Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me
My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten
Sometimes I can still hear their voice
Breaking: TikTok is better bc it’s more hostile towards humanity
The lack of video content is what kept us here... I thought we all agree that the best feature of this hellhole was and always will be anonymity.
Tumblr's not asking for my phone number. It's not going through my contacts to try and connect me with my fucking colleagues. I can come here and talk about whatever I want without anyone ever seeing my face or hearing my voice. I don't have to censor myself and hide my interests or enthusiasm out of fear of consequences it might have in my real life.
I think the biggest misunderstanding they have of Tumblr is that they think of it as a social media platform when in actuality it's a blogging platform with social features.
I like the use of Metroman here because if there's one thing Tumblr users collectively agree on it's that we want everyone to think we're dead
wish we were still on Tumblr instead of the void
We stared into the void so hard Tumblrs ghost grabbed and dragged us in. Now the void is all we are.
So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.
Stay with me.
We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.
I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.
It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.
(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)
Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.
My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.
When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.
We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.
Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.
The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.
I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.
Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”
Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.
But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.
The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.
- The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.
- No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.
- The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.
- Every time your sibling successfully absconds with the Gay Pirate Plate, you must respond with indignant fury, as if you have not also repeatedly and blatantly stolen the Gay Pirate Plate.
WOE
PLATE BE UPON YE
STATUS UPDATE
I texted this image to my family at around 2am their time last night and woke up to appropriately indignant messages about theft, betrayal, etc.
nothing could have prepared me for how gay the gay pirate plate was
take me to art museums and make out with me
But they said to not touch the masterpieces
Well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall
This is Johnson, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.
I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS LEGENDARY POST IN SCREENSHOTS
Reblogging for the legendary Johnson, the security guard we didn’t deserve
Honey I Shrunk La France
European Politics :
I feel so sorry for my followers because when I’m not online my blog is DEAD no queue no nothing but when I’m online you’d better be ready for an avalanche of posts within .5 seconds of each other POST POST POST POST POST POST
UC or ER?
HONESTLY THOUGH
THIS IS BOTH ACCURATE AND EFFECTIVE
Urgent Care is for your "Oh no!" accidents.
Emergency Care is for your "Oh fuck!" accidents.
yeah okay ill reblog that!