In today's installment of 'I will protect Black autistics with a large and heavy rock'- I got an awesome scarf today!
At the grocery store there was a really large young man wearing a gorgeous jewel toned rainbow scarf and hat set. I told him how cool I thought it was, and he lit right up and started stimming and rocking excitedly. An older lady who I'm assuming is his mom (But possibly auntie or gran) rushed over, already apologising, and in the middle of saying 'He's not threatening you, he's autistic'
Me: Oh, nice, me too! Happy flap club! [Shaking my hands and drumming my fingers on my collar bones while waggling my head from side to side.]
Him: I love that, happy flap club! [Mimicking my stims and popping a few times.]
We shot the shit for a few minutes, talking about sensory issues around yarns and fabric, I gave his mom some recommendations since she knitted the set for him. Before I carried on with the rest of my shop they both stopped me and insisted I take the scarf. At first I tried to decline because I was worried it was in the same way I get with 'She likes my pants. What do I do, do I give her my pants??'
His mom explained that everyone finds him intimidating because he's built like a defensive tackle, then outright scary because he makes loud noises and shakes his hands around. At best he gets ignored, but more often people steer clear of him, and a few times he's had security called on him. So I guess having someone start up a conversation, especially with a compliment, had been the highlight of their week, because she said she hadn't seen him happy stimming in public in a while. The scarf was a token of gratitude for making him feel safe and happy.
Stop letting the world be such a dangerous place for Black autistic people to be themselves. Or face the wrath of my large and heavy rock. And my awesome new scarf.