A white man in a Hawaiian shirt with a name tag that read “sex master” pointed at me from across the street and yelled “HEY! You’re the raccoon lady!” Which was very jarring for me

who else has fantasized about the Nutrient Brick

[Image ID: Discord message from kay0512 reading: they should make Nutrient Brick thats one brick the size of an ice cream sandwich and i can eat that every morning and it has all my calories and nutrients for the day. and i dont have to think about food all day and i dont get shaky or have to eat. and it costs 50 cents. /End ID]

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won't let you copy and paste:

starting the year off stupid styleeee in alpharetta

I COULDN’T FIT THIS ONE

Dropout cast members as things to never say to someone who just came out

See: this article

Brennan Lee Mulligan

Jess Ross

Jacob Wysocki

Vic Michaelis

Mike Trapp

Rekha Shankar

Lily Du

Zac Oyama

Izzy Roland

Ally Beardsley

Ify Nwadiwe

Raph Chestang

Lou Wilson

Tao Yang

Siobhan Thompson

a thing that was so interesting about the vampires in Sinners is genuinely what huge losers they are. get bit and immediately start talking like the most annoying youth pastor you know.

which is a really cool choice because it emphasizes how deeply Off they are. there are obviously the big tells in their behavior, like Bo not reacting to a man getting mauled five feet away or Cornbread getting weird at the door, but the way they speak is also really off with the cadence of the movie the audience has gotten accustomed to. the characters are friends, family, they know each other enough to make jokes, trade barbs, argue, swear. they talk in an informal, natural way with each other. one bite later and it's "excuse me my brothers and sisters in the one race, the human race, won't you pretty please let me come inside to rejoice in your company 🥺"

the kkkouple that remmick turns first are a really effective storytelling shorthand. we know basically nothing about them pre-vampening except that they're trigger happy racists, so when you see them turn up all smiles at a Black juke joint parroting everything remmick says you immediately get a pretty solid grasp of what getting bit does to a motherfucker

obviously I'm arriving to this party really late and I've already seen almost every bit of this movie dissected down to the minutia, but I've not seen anyone talk about klanwife's line about how the vampires are "starting a new klan, built on love." crazy good line, made me figuratively need to take a seat. really cuts right to the heart of the dissonance between what mr. o'vampire says he believes and the nightmare bullshit that he's actually doing.

I keep thinking about the big vampire group song because it's like. god this scene is good. it circles back to my point about remmick being a loser, because getting a couple dozen new vampire thralls and using them to do an elaborately choreographed song and dance is peak loser shit.

but it's also horrifying, absolutely horrifying, for the living characters who are looking on because a.) they're watching their dead family and friends and neighbors, most of whom are covered in blood and visibly injured, get danced around like puppets and b.) it's the first time the characters are really getting a taste of the hivemind bullshit the audience has already been clued in on and c.) sure, they're just dancing for now, but they're realizing just how many hungry vampires are waiting outside to kill them at the first opportunity and take Sammie. so that's a nightmare for them.

so you could read that as a deliberate intimidation tactic on remmick's part, trying to overwhelm the survivors into giving up, but then you're like, okay, maybe in his mind this is a display of how good it is to be a vampire. isn't it good? doesn't it look fun? look how much fun we're having! you could come have fun too if you want! just let me in :3 I don't think that's impossible, that he'd be totally oblivious to how he comes across. the newly-turned vampires seem pretty bad at faking their interpersonal skills; all memory of how to act human beyond the most superficial level seems to really go out the window pretty immediately. remmick seems a little cannier than that, since we see him try to play on people's emotions more than once--appealing to the kkkouple's fear of the Choctaw to gain their shelter when he realizes they're klan, trying to lower Mary's guard by sympathizing with her over her dead mother, pressuring Grace by threatening her daughter. obviously some of those efforts are more successful than others, but he at least seems to have an ability to read the room that other vampires lack.

but it's also not a stretch at all to think he might sincerely be that clueless, because that whole song and dance number is remmick's whole thesis statement, which is that when he says he believes in "equality" he means that he'll kill anyone and turn them into one of his tools regardless of who they are. like sure, whatever, I'm willing to believe that he does sincerely find the klan objectionable, but he's also just packed full of shit. his version of equality is one where everyone's equal under him, acting out his own culture and history for his pleasure. thinks he's not racist because he doesn't care that Sammie's Black but still wants to take away everything that makes Sammie an individual and just keep the musical talent to perform a crude facsimile of being Irish.

and this is getting so long but that scene of all the vampires dancing in step in the dark, cold and washed out, is contrasted so well with the earlier scene inside the juke where everyone is warmly lit, revolving around Sammie but not beholden to him, dancing in their own styles side by side with spirits of the past and future blending different styles and cultures. that scene is such a gorgeous visualization of musical traditions persisting through time and place, connecting people across generations, growing and changing fluidly as people take inspiration from the past, while all of remmick's songs show people being very forcibly trapped in the past, unable to grow or move on. when he encounters something beautiful in the present all he can think to do is own it, destroy it, bend it into the shape of history. pathetic!

my perverted sexual fantasy of reasonable mcr ticket prices

my body is a machine that turns normal situations into psychological horror

Republicans, let us impeach trump and we promise to give you a cool metal ring with a Lion on it that we got from buc-ee's.

let us impeach trump and we promise to extend Shark Week to an entire month.

yesterday I had the thought "visual novel for normal people" (?) and halfway through making this image (which I thought would be really funny) I realized it was completely meaningless

“So basically my couch has electricity and I use it to charge my battery powered doorbell”

“Okay that makes sense”

Now explain it to a Japanese samurai from the year 1218

"do you know how waterwheels grind up grain in a water mill using the force of running water? We found a way to create a huge source of force that runs all the time and can transfer its force over long distance. I can tell you in more detail, but that's the basics. Now that is a chime that has a mechanism that one can press instead of having to open the door to let you know that you are waiting to be let in. It requires the transferred force to make the mechanism work and that wire is how we transfer the force to the chime."

i love these sort of posts because they feel like a vision of a kinder and more thoughtful world that I wish more than anything was the mainstream instead of the exception

secret episode of heated rivalry where it turns out they're not gay after all

I've seen a lot of people reblogging this as a shitpost but it actually is ~technically~ true, if you're willing to give the literal text "lentils.com" a bit of leeway. The modern DNS or "Domain Name System" wasn't established until 1985, and was created to establish human-readable addresses for IP addresses, so you didn't have to know the actual IP address of the website you wanted to visit. In other words, you don't need to call up the world carrot museum and ask for their IP address in order to visit their website, you can just go to worldcarrotmuseum.co.uk.

HOWEVER, the DNS system wasn't created whole-cloth, it was based on a library topic-categorization system that predated the dewey decimal system and was widely used across private and government libraries in england and, later, the united states. The system was called the Index Dominiorum, or "Register of Domains," and was pioneered by the Library of Oxford in 1731. It's first ever use was for the tracking and maintenance of agricultural records for major staple crops, with the list distinguishing between commercial and independently-grown crops, as subsistence farming was still how a lot of people got their food in england at the time. In this register of crop reports, one of the first (not the actual first first) records added to the list was a report on the production of commercial lentils, labeled "lentils, com." Because that same core registration system was used as the basis for the DNS nearly 3 centuries later, it can be argued that "lentils.com" was one of the first domains ever registered, along with similar commercial crop names like "barley.com", "rye.com", and "bulgur-wheat.com". Unfortunately, none of this is true, and i did just make it all up.

Finally broke down and looked up "67" on wikipedia today, and i love that wikipedia had to include the fact that people are using the meme as evidence of "brain rot" in younger generations because of how low-effort it is. And like, i have no horse in this race, i'm clearly out of touch enough with what the kids are saying that i have to go look up memes on the internet to understand them, but brain rot? I'm pretty sure kids have been saying random numbers as memes since... like, the beginning of language. the beginning of numbers. I'm guessing that some time around 15,000 years ago in hunter-gatherer tribes all around the world a scene played out where one kid shouted "hey look, four rocks!" after seeing a few rocks on the ground, and every other kid in the tribe shouted "four rocks! four rocks!" and the adults just stood around like "what the fuck are the kids on about now?" and then had to live with the kids saying "four rocks!" every time they saw four of literally any object together. Like, this does not seem like a new phenomenon.

You make a compelling point. Especially because "four rocks" IS hella fun to say. Thanks for the new way to confuse my friends when hiking!

four rocks!!!

four rocks!!!

The high geologist strikes again.