what if i told you i CRIED.
i've been wondering what this novel meant to me when i first read it two and a half years ago. i don't have a very good memory at all, so i can really only guess. i'm sure it was a turbulent time for me, and i've grown so much since then. but i can't help but wonder what it means to me now. has it really changed all that much? partly, i would think.
after all, i read a novel i remember adoring, now with fresh eyes and so many more experiences in life. some happy, and a lot of them sad. i'd think that it'd mean something a little different to me now than it did when i was barely 17, but who knows. sometimes i think i've changed a lot, and sometimes i think i've barely changed at all. it's impossible to know that about yourself, anyways.
please be happy felt like a very good way to end my 2025. i really only started feeling like things were truly normal for me extremely recently... like i found a missing puzzle piece. this novel makes me feel nostalgic for what i hope were even better times, but i couldn't express how grateful i am for what i have now. for that puzzle piece sliding in.
this novel made me want to read a lot more next year. it made me want to write more, too. i want to smile and enjoy my time spent with those i treasure.
if i can do that, i'll be happy.
@vnstudioelan you have my heart forever 🤍 thank you for such a lovely novel