Shameless 3.11 // Heated Rivalry 1.06

we need block appeal on this site i need to be able to argue my merit to people who hate me for one (1) thing i said so that i can reblog their good posts

me, kneeling before the person who blocked me: please, god king, ruler of these sacred lands, i do not even know your quarrel with me, but i humbly request the ability to reblog your joke posts once more

the person who blocked me: your takes on solavellan displeased me.

me: twas mere frustration! a criticism of those unhinged few, liege. i have no quarrel with the likes of you, and wish only to show fealty by reblogging your meta posts with the tag "scrumptious", or perhaps even "SOOOOOOO TRUE!"

the person who blocked me: alas, this is a sin that i cannot forgive you for. leave these lands and never return, for your ilk are not welcome here.

me: very well. then you understand i must reply to your slight in kind.

the person who blocked me: aye. such as it must be.

me, hitting the block button on the way out: may our paths never cross again, warmonger.

this is the funniest possible outcome of this post

Ilya: this guy is cute, I should start a stationary bike race so he knows I want to get sweaty together

Ilya: that didn’t quite work. Maybe I should just give him the eye? While I tell him I hope he likes his new city?

Ilya: okay. But surely if I make him drink from my water bottle and brush his fingers when passing it over…?

Ilya: call him pretty. To his face. No way he can miss that

Ilya: desperate measures, I’ll have to tell him I orchestrated this whole ad campaign just so I could see him again

Ilya: WHAT IF I STARTED JERKING OFF IN THESE COMUNAL SHOWERS?

Shane, 7 years later: I have figured out that you like me.

I love thinking I'm a hater and then meeting a real hater and going wow that does not look fun actually. Going back to my lukewarm hater ways. Performative haterdom. I couldn't name five hater bands.

When you're trying to forget your years old situationship but his manager is Yuna Hollander so you see his face everywhere...

men can go to the restroom while women must go to the shadows of contemplation

the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated

ao3 is an awesome website for people who love "open in new tab"

if I had become stupid famous in the span of a calendar month I would also use my powers to get on late night tv and bark at hosts to get on their knees. while also reminding everyone my arch is nasty and my ass is fat. that’s a star

Alright girlies we can't let the executive dysfunction win today

I mean alright girlies we can't let the executive dysfunction win tomorrow

“Attempting To Read News In 2025” (medium: safari with ads, screencap, 2025)

If this shit happened in 2005 it meant your computer had a virus

he might be doomed to die tragically but he's got great tits

awesome game of bite cardboard. you look like a staple remover

The creature

Hornyposting but with an air of melancholy