FUCK it was in parallel australia

retracts my posting tendril into my body swiftly

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

part 2 of this based on @abzania's tags

#i like to think that after this#he tries tying essek to him to keep him from floating away#and against all logic they go floating off together instead

my dad (Maori) works on a ship with all Maori/Tongan/Samoan fisherman- and one Aussie guy called Jake.

And that wasn't done on purpose just sort of how it ended up, but Jake recently got an injury so they put him on a Different boat just for a little bit (a sit in the wheelhouse and scout type of boat, instead of the main fishing one) and he only got back to my dad's ship today and he was apparently like Shaking. He was Traumatised.

Dad said Jake kept pulling him aside and going "They were all yelling on there, but in a MEAN way" "They didn't clean... Like at ALL"

Jake experienced what a boat full of old school Aussie fisherman is like. That is the norm Jake. You just happened to be on the all Island boy boat on your first go out. "It was time for dinner and they had FROZEN nuggets" Jake that's what they have on ships that are out at sea for months at a time.

On my dad's boat they are eating fresh fish and coconut milk Ceviche. They're grilling steaks on an open bbq on the deck that probably is not regulation. All the guys have their own special knives to prepare sashimi every couple days. Everyone is happily doing their own work so they can clock out early and set up a movie on the deck. Jake did you genuinely believe that's what every boat was doing.

Local Australian man is fed fresh juices and smoked fish for first time- refuses to go back to beef jerky boat life

jake that first night when they served a freezer tray tv dinner and not an overflowing plate of fish that's probably going for conservatively like $40-$80 bucks a kilo but the guys decided Eh we'll catch more let's just fry it up:

we've got a life to love living.

advice that has literally saved and improved my life

The only good white washing

You can also add color to the mix! All those quaint postcard-esque colorful European houses that tourists clamour to see? That's limewash babey!!!

And you can apply multiple coats a year if you want the color to be opaque faster :]

Wrestlers ar WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

POST CANCELLED. THE GOLF COURSE ACROSS THE STREET BLEW UP

HELLO????

When you are brutally losing at chess implore your opponent to look inwards its called the little pony gambit

oh fuck yum

this is a quick appreciation post for my mutuals who have my actual real life address and have never sent a hitman to my door to assassinate me you all are real ones

The darkness chained between two lights. The more you suppress, the more it consumes you. And so her voice became your cry.

let’s die. let’s meet up and die. let’s die. asap. let's meet right now.

Felt the urge to edit some tumblr/twitter shitposts with LOTR characters (feat. one Bilbo in The Hobbit)

I might post fanart when I have the time - but for now these were very fun to make, I hope you like them!