hello! i'm izzie -- i'm currently a uni student focusing on my bachelor in film studies, specialising in analysis but dabbling in both art & videogame photography, all in which sum up to me being heavily multifandom -- i'm currently fixated on bigtop burger, gorillaz, hazbin hotel, cyberpunk 2077 & MORE!!

I AM VERY CRITICAL OF MY INTERESTS.

i struggle with consistent communication due to having both autism & bpd, so please be patient with me...

SOME EXAMPLES OF MY MOST RECENT ART!!!!1!

check out my best friend, @beebundt, who is super talented and awesome and wonderful! she deserves so much love and attention for the stuff she creates please and thank yewwww.

should i make a sideblog for hazbin hotel because im embarrassed that im fixated on hazbin hotel

bpd sucks so badly i don't understand why anyone would wanna glorify this experience ... its so draining, so traitorous to any sort of rationality that have and so soul sucking that i dream often of a life without it. any sort of personality disorder is horrible to live with. and a selfish part of me feels jealous of people who don't have personality disorders. like why do i have to live with this. what the hell did i do to deserve this. i try to be good and this is what i get ???? feeling anxious over anything ??? feeling rejected over anything ???? feeling like i'm a tumour in everyone's lives ??????

i'm exhausted to the point i don't even want people to understand me anymore-- i don't want to explain my embarrassing feelings about such minor things. it's ridiculous. i promise i have emotional intelligence, just not when i actually want to communicate and be a decent person !!!! i wish people can read me and go 'i see you, izzie, i see that this hurt you.' but they can't because i have a disorder that MAKES ME IMPOSSIBLE TO READ !!!!

i never want to communicate ever !!!!! in my life !!!! it's exhausting always trying to scramble for words and putting them into coherent sentences when i'm splitting or deeply hurt !!!! but i try to very hard and it still sometimes doesn't feel like it's enough... everything feels like circles.

my ideal scenario is that if someone asks me if i'm okay, i grab their shoulders with the grip of hercules, stare into their eyes and go 'I FEEL INSANE!' and then strip naked and dive into a reservoir. can we do that more often. also, can we write this into characters. i'm pretending vincent whittman Vox hazbin hotel does this and so should you? thoughts and feelings.

beyond the commute

what is his problem

i need to be in a d&d campaign right freaking now the withdrawals are so dire