Just jerked my shit during lunch break 😊

do it on the clock are you stupid

THERE IS STILL TIME TO START HOLIDAY HOMEMADE GIFTS

NEVER GIVE UP

DOG ITS DEC 23 11:45 PM

"being a human is so boring why can't I be one of the COOL animals" okay hey. I hear you. but I actually really super love being an omnivorous persistence hunting primate with a stomach capable of dissolving many literal poisons and the ability to smell geosmin (released in the soil after it rains) at five parts per trillion. I super enjoy being a bipedal terrifyingly agile mammal with some of the most efficient sweat glands in the animal kingdom. I find a lot of joy in being an endotherm with mimicry abilities that rival most other animals with vocal chords. it's sick as hell I'm having a lot of fun

When yo put it that way, yeah, being a human is pretty sick. Maybe I just don’t like the society I grew up in.

…Oh fuck….I’m the joker from the movie joker…

it's okay the joker is ALSO an omnivorous geosmin smelling primate. we are all the joker in this way

Lugia chewing undersea cables

I’m thankful for all the different ways I can eat potatoes

women who aren’t even 30 yet

leonardo dicaprio type of post

i love the point in the hero’s journey where he gets bent over and railed until he cries

Don’t leave this in the tags

THATS THE PEOPLES MAYOR!!!

I am not from New York, but I feel the joy of seeing this and wish I was.

does anyone else feel kind of slutty refilling soap bottles

the soap that inspired it all

Every january goth couples are fucking hard to try and have a halloween baby they're gonna name ophelia or some shit

I’m a Halloween baby but my parents are normal so I’m Garrett

Hi garrett

happy birthday garrett

happy birthday garrett

Happy birthday garrett

Happy birthday garrett

please god watch this right now

told my mom my cat had a cold and she asked the most important question