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all fucking day with this shit. fire their asses
“Is that racist?”
“Only for—no!”
Comedy at its finest
This video lives in my mind rent free constantly
WHAT IS THE CHARGE? EATING A PENGUIN? A SUCCULENT ADÉLIE PENGUIN?
I've seen a lot of people reblogging this as a shitpost but it actually is ~technically~ true, if you're willing to give the literal text "lentils.com" a bit of leeway. The modern DNS or "Domain Name System" wasn't established until 1985, and was created to establish human-readable addresses for IP addresses, so you didn't have to know the actual IP address of the website you wanted to visit. In other words, you don't need to call up the world carrot museum and ask for their IP address in order to visit their website, you can just go to worldcarrotmuseum.co.uk.
HOWEVER, the DNS system wasn't created whole-cloth, it was based on a library topic-categorization system that predated the dewey decimal system and was widely used across private and government libraries in england and, later, the united states. The system was called the Index Dominiorum, or "Register of Domains," and was pioneered by the Library of Oxford in 1731. It's first ever use was for the tracking and maintenance of agricultural records for major staple crops, with the list distinguishing between commercial and independently-grown crops, as subsistence farming was still how a lot of people got their food in england at the time. In this register of crop reports, one of the first (not the actual first first) records added to the list was a report on the production of commercial lentils, labeled "lentils, com." Because that same core registration system was used as the basis for the DNS nearly 3 centuries later, it can be argued that "lentils.com" was one of the first domains ever registered, along with similar commercial crop names like "barley.com", "rye.com", and "bulgur-wheat.com". Unfortunately, none of this is true, and i did just make it all up.
MADE THIS CONTRAPTION TODAY :)
FUCKING STOP !!!!
Encounter: Light Gorilla
brother’s friend’s kid came up to me and asked if I’ve ever played smash bros. nah never let’s play it on your switch little guy
Judge: Sensitive pervert, you stand accused… of loving too beautifully, fucking too skillfully, and keeping it too motherfucking real. How do you plead?
Me: I plead… guilty to all chargers ur honor
Judge: gasp
Jury: gasp
Prosecutor: grits teeth and starts growling
My hot defense lawyer with a huge rack: whoa…he might just have what it takes…
i feel like those posts thatre like “REAL gay people don’t talk about yaoi discourse they go to gay clubs and do ket” are crazy like i understand they’re critiquing a hyper specific genre of online queer but babe they can do both… i know people who are ravers and are always on shrooms and read mcr rpf like i feel like we draw a big line between the online queer community and the in person one but that girls at gay bars have tumblr accounts it’s really not that seperate
psa for all you tubiheads:
they just added mulholland drive, dog day afternoon, and stop making sense to the platform this month. three good movies
i'd make a joke about "let the HUSBAND giggle under the covers and tell HIS WIFE to put that camera away before dying before HIS WIFE'S story starts" but lets be real he'd still get more fanart
sir do you understand that you are being criticized right now
The best thing about tumblr is you can just make a criticism of a very specific person completely unprompted and then that person will appear as if summoned in your notes to prove your point for you.