woo new chapter pog?
enjoy!
tw: deadnaming, unaccepting parent, misgendering, swearing, unsafe binding, gender dysphoria, vague descriptions of afab chest, vague description of injury, using bandages to bind ( please tell me if any are wrong or if i missed any, stay safe <3 )
Ranboo pushed open the front door and his mom immediately rushed toward him.
"Where were you, young lady?!" she practically screamed in his face.
"Like I said when I left, I was out," he replied, flatly, staring down at his short mother.
"Don't give me that sort of sass. Where were you?"
"I went into the city."
"Why would you go into the city?"
"Because I needed things for going to the UK tomorrow."
"What sort of things?"
"It was literally fucking soap." Frustration was bubbling up inside of his chest, threatening to explode any minute.
"Don't use that language with me, young lady."
"I'M NOT A 'YOUNG LADY'! WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT INTO THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS?" Ranboo screamed, storming past his mother.
"You are a girl, you were born a girl. No amount of brainwashing from those 'friends' of yours can change that."
"Well if I'm a girl, then you're not my mother."
"You're sick." Ranboo paused.
"I'm what?"
"You're not well, Nessa. You need a doctor."
"I'm perfectly healthy, thanks."
"But you're not, sweetie." She went to grab Ranboo's wrist but he pulled it from her grip. "You- people have these feelings when in reality they're very very sick. I don't think it's safe for you to go to the UK-"
"I think the best place for me to be right now is the UK. Be away from your transphobic bullshit."
"No, no, honey."
"I'm going to the UK tomorrow, I don't care. I am meeting my best friends." He began walking toward the door but his mother's voice stopped him.
"Do they know what you are? How disgusting you are? How sick you are?" At this point Ranboo was shaking with anger.
"Yes. They do. And they accept me. Better than my own mother could do." With that Ranboo opened the door and walked upstairs to his room, slamming the door behind him. He wanted to punch something. Not wanting to break his hand, he settled with throwing down his bag and calling Tubbo again.
"Hey, Ranboo! Why was your mom pissed?" Ranboo sighed.
"Oh, it was nothing. She just got mad at me for going into the city to get shampoo and stuff for tomorrow."
"Huh, that sucks dude. At least you'll be gone soon. Less than 24 hours!" Ranboo smiled.
"Yeah...less than 24 hours."
Ranboo and Tubbo talked for a long time, Ranboo lying on his bed, staring at his ceiling. He began playing with the remote for his LED strips, making his room different colors. Eventually he settled on a purple, it made him feel calm. Safe. Ranboo checked the time on his phone and saw that it was 6:45pm.
"Aight, Tubbo. I reckon I should go have sustenance then finish packing most of my stuff."
"Ok, tall man. Take care of yourself."
"Will do. You take care of yourself too. Goodnight, Tubbo."
"Goodnight." When he had hung up Ranboo sighed and pushed himself up into a sitting position but was stopped by a stabbing pain in his ribs. He only just realized how tight the bandaging around his chest was. It had been 11 hours since he first started binding. He knew in the back of his mind he should really take off the bandages but he already had the voices of dysphoria echoing in his mind and didn't need them to scream any louder. So, he just sucked it up and tried his best to walk as normally as he could down into the kitchen. Luckily the kitchen was empty so he was able to get food in peace. He decided to make porridge because apparently he was an old British man. He poured the oats and water into a glass bowl and put them in the microwave for 2 minutes. As he waited, he walked over to the couch where Pinot was fast asleep. Her head popped up as he approached and her tail started wagging. Ranboo was going to miss her while he was in the UK. Pinot rolled onto her back, letting Ranboo rub her belly. She looked like she was in heaven, her tongue lolling out, belly being rubbed, smile on her face. Oh how he wished he could feel like that.
"Jesus Christ," he muttered to himself. He was so sad, he was jealous of a dog. Well, when you think about it, dogs do have the ideal lifestyle. They get fed, watered, taken for walks, they don't have stress or school as a part of their daily lives, they-
Ranboo was snapped out of his thoughts by the microwave beeping angrily at him. Probably for the best, he didn't want to do down the rabbit hole of a dog's daily life. Pushing himself to his feet, he walked over to the microwave and took out the bowl, Pinot standing behind him. He smiled at her, brushing his hands over her head as he walked to get the milk from the fridge. He continued to make his porridge and, once it was cooked, took out some brown sugar from the pantry and sprinkled it onto the old man food. Ranboo then took out his phone and snapped a photo of his dinner, posting it to twitter with the caption "good soup". Laughing at his own joke, Ranboo patted Pinot's head one last time, telling her he was going to go upstairs to pack, and walked to his room. Pinot, unsurprisingly considering he had food, followed him into his room and sat patiently by his feet as he ate. When he had finished, he gave her his empty bowl to lick, which she gratefully took, and he got up and pulled his suitcase out of his wardrobe. It was now that he realized how fucking dumb he had been, having packed absolutely nothing. And he was leaving the next morning. He guessed he wasn't going to sleep that night. So he began packing. The rest of his family was still awake so he could storm through the house and not have them yell at him for being too loud.
After about four hours, Ranboo had almost finished, which was surprising considering he was usually an extremely slow packer. Maybe the fact that he was listening to a random classical playlist he found on Spotify was making him pack faster because he was imagining himself in a dark academia film, running though a castle, just being a main character. His chest was in extreme pain, he could barely take a breath without his ribs feeling like they were about to crack. He had to take the bandages off. But, he found himself trying to forget, trying to make himself suffer through the pain. They say "beauty is pain", right? Well, the only thing that made him even the tiniest bit beautiful was having a flat chest, so he'd just have to put up with it. Although at this point he had had his binder on for around 15 hours. He knew it wasn't safe, he knew he should take it off, but then, why wasn't he? Why couldn't he?
Ranboo was making direct eye contact with his reflection, daydreaming, when Rin opened his door, making him jump, causing pain to shoot through his ribs.
"Wassup, Ranboo my man." Rin obviously noticed the grimace of pain flicker over his face and her expression turned to one of concern. "What's wrong? What happened?" Ranboo shook his head, hand still resting over his chest.
"Nothing, just jumped at a weird angle." Rin didn't look convinced.
"Dude, just spit it out."
"It's nothing." He could feel her piercing gaze on the back of his head as he placed more things into his suitcase.
"How long?" she asked, taking Ranboo aback slightly. How had she known?
"What?"
"How long have you had it on?"
"I don-"
"Don't act dumb. I'm not stupid." Her voice was stern. "How long have you had it on."
"15 hours," he muttered, glancing up at his sister's face. She looked mad. To be honest, Ranboo was scared of his sister whenever she was angry, she could be terrifying.
"Take it off."
"But-"
"I said, take it off."
"Rin, you- you don't understand." Ranboo almost laughed in desperation.
"What I understand is my brother is crushing his ribs and lungs and needs to take his fucking binder off." Ranboo glared at her. He knew there was no point in trying to change her mind.
"Fine." He pushed himself to his feet, wincing as he did so, and walked into the bathroom. He stood there for a long time, staring at the mirror, staring at the bandages tightly wound around his body, constricting his breathing. Slowly but surely, he brought his arms up to the clasp holding the wrapping together and took it out, immediately providing some relief. Ranboo unwound and unwound the bandaging until it was all gone and sitting in a pile on the floor. Ranboo took a deep breath, more pain stabbed at him. Leaning closer to the mirror, Ranboo inspected his bruised and red ribs. He then stared at his chest. The thing that had forced him to push his body to the limits. How was he going to survive in the UK without Tubbo finding out? His chest wasn't exactly small either, only making it more difficult. He pulled his shirt over his head, wincing as he lifted his arms up once more. He picked up the bandages and walked back into his room, dumping them onto his dresser.
"You happy now?" he asked, exasperatedly.
"No," Rin replied. "No, actually, I'm not."
"What did I do now?" She pointed at the pile of bandages. Ranboo was confused.
"Oh don't act dumb. Seriously? Using bandages. Do you know how bad that is for you? And especially for 15-"
"Ok, I get it. It was just because I didn't have any clean binders. It was a last resort." Rin glared at him, unconvinced, but hummed nonetheless.
"Fine. But if I ever, ever, catch you using those again, I will whip your ass." She then got to her feet and left the room, grabbing the ace bandages as she left. Ranboo sighed. He pulled out his phone and began typing a message to Tubbo. He had time, the only things he had left to pack were toiletries and his binders, which were still drying on the line outside.
Ranboob is typing...
hi chat!
i hope you all had a good day :]
i love you so much and you are so valid. remember to eat something (even if it's small), drink water and bind safely if you bind! take care of yourself! you deserve it! i am so proud of you and am always here if you need to talk, just dm me ( 🎗💅Charlie/Quackity💅🎗#3071 ). i love you <3