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MERSENNE (Preview) wrote:
Other things, other people, remain difficult to grasp—but it becomes easier once you start tying them to numbers. Like boats drifting away in a storm of confusion, tethered to comprehension by a string of zeroes, ones, twos...
That merchant, for example. You cannot tell if their smile is genuine, if the annoyance in their eyes is real or imagined. But there is one merchant, paw held out for a hundred pieces of gold—this you understand.
...you’re worse off—all nervousness and shivering—than you ever were before.
Then, you only had to consider “what ifs”, possibilities merely dreamed up by your mind.
Now, you have to live with the certainty—
That the universe is in your hands, and the slightest mistake from you could unravel it completely.
That merchant, for example. You cannot tell if their smile is genuine, if the annoyance in their eyes is real or imagined. But there is one merchant, paw held out for a hundred pieces of gold—this you understand.
...you’re worse off—all nervousness and shivering—than you ever were before.
Then, you only had to consider “what ifs”, possibilities merely dreamed up by your mind.
Now, you have to live with the certainty—
That the universe is in your hands, and the slightest mistake from you could unravel it completely.
PERIPETEIA (Preview) wrote:
...you got tired of everyone’s gazes fastening upon you. Got tired of their fascination, as though it was a game. With your childhood years behind you, you decided it was time to stop playing...
But you didn’t see an end to this particular game.
Where the fascination of others had once been, shining in their eyes, now you saw only apprehension. Faces turned sharply away before you could meet their gazes—
But not quite fast enough for you to miss their fear.
There were times when you began to waver. When you wondered, “What if...?” and considered what might happen if things changed yet again.
But you didn’t see an end to this particular game.
Where the fascination of others had once been, shining in their eyes, now you saw only apprehension. Faces turned sharply away before you could meet their gazes—
But not quite fast enough for you to miss their fear.
There were times when you began to waver. When you wondered, “What if...?” and considered what might happen if things changed yet again.
TESTIMONY (Preview) wrote:
“No lies,” you insist, “and no hiding.” No deceit or ulterior motives or foul play.
You can almost see the edges of that promise: ephemeral yet scintillating, like a soap bubble on the breeze. You long to touch it, to hold it close. To make it your home, to make it your world.
“But if I can make them understand...!” you urge yourself.
You start from the beginning, with the remark that suddenly turned the air sour. Carefully you pluck out key words, explaining, explaining...
“Why’d he say this, then? Why not that one?”
The question comes, sharp and sudden, like a blade in the back.
You can almost see the edges of that promise: ephemeral yet scintillating, like a soap bubble on the breeze. You long to touch it, to hold it close. To make it your home, to make it your world.
“But if I can make them understand...!” you urge yourself.
You start from the beginning, with the remark that suddenly turned the air sour. Carefully you pluck out key words, explaining, explaining...
“Why’d he say this, then? Why not that one?”
The question comes, sharp and sudden, like a blade in the back.
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