Coming down with a cold be like
We went to the Blossoms of Light event at the Denver Botanic gardens and when we saw a greenhouse-related opportunity, we took it. ♥️
My partner is such a nerd and I love him so much.
Merry Christmas!
B just crawled back into bed to wake me up with gentle kisses, told me he’d already taken Deacon for a run, picked up a giant cinnamon roll from my favorite GF bakery that is now waiting for me in my office, and oh by the way do I want to go on a goodwill date this weekend to pick out Christmas sweaters and then take family pictures with Deacon in front of the tree?
Reader, I would marry him again if that was possible.
When my anxiety is bad, my partner will get in close and whisper in my ear as if he’s talking to my brain and say things like “you cut that shit out,” “leave my wife alone,” “she’s a nice lady and doesn’t deserve this.” And he’s so serious and so emphatic that even though it doesn’t have any medicinal impact on the brain side of things it does make my heart grow two sizes or whatever.
How am I meant to focus on writing under these conditions??
The Instagram algorithm loves to feed me videos where women are joking about what their husband expected vs what they got between dating and marriage and I genuinely cannot relate. Like, this is why people need to date their friends. My husband knew exactly what he was getting into well before ever attempting to woo me.
We were rock climbing partners first, and then on a year-long D&D campaign during early Covid together. I don’t think he saw me wearing makeup until at least six months into our friendship and then it was probably for cosplay. He met my parents and knew where my mental illness and suspect sense of humor came from long before we so much as kissed.
He knew I wasn’t going to be a doting housewife who wore lingerie to bed every night because he knew I had no desires for housewifery and didn’t own lingerie.
And I think that’s probably the best thing about dating your friends because sure, there’s less concern they might axe murder you, but also because they’re well aware of what a dumpster fire gremlin you are and have decided they love you anyway. Possibly even because of your personality quirks and stay-at-home chic outfits, rather than in spite of them. There’s never a chance for you to put your best foot forward with them because they’ve already seen your worst foot. They’ve seen you screaming like a banshee while falling for the sixteenth time on a rock climbing route or casting cantrips via dirty limerick, or lying face down on the floor because you got overstimulated when attempting to socialize with other humans for more than an hour.
Like. My husband knew. He very much knew. If anything, I got more attractive after we got together because I was like “heck, he’s gotta look at me every day, I ought to give him something nice to look at once in a while.” And I gotta make sure no hussies try and swipe him so I’m going to pick him up from pickleball league in a slutty dress every now and then so these bitches know. You know?
Anyway. Date your friends.
The hazards of falling in love with someone who likes to wake up early. No morning cuddles 😔
Crested Butte in the fall 🍂🍁
B is currently in the living room with all the big lights on reading a book about finance whilst listening to something sports-y on TV.
Meanwhile, I am in the library with low shelf lighting and a starry night projector running, wearing noise-cancelling headphones and reading a book about rival wizards reluctantly falling in love with each other.
Sometimes the fact that we married each other is just really funny to me.
Me: suggests a new Sex Thing
My partner: What book did you get this from?
Me:
Wha—I—you don’t think I could have come up with it on my own??
My partner: But did it come from a book?
Me:
…yes.
Over the last few months I’ve mentioned to B that I’m starting to see signs of aging in my face and noted that most women I know are using Botox/fillers which makes me feel self-conscious in comparison. He vehemently reassured me each time that he loves my face and looks forward to seeing it in all stages of our lives together.
But today, he sat me down and showed me a slideshow of a bunch of female celebrities who are “aging naturally”/not using Botox/fillers and pointed out all the ways he thought they were beautiful. He ended his presentation with an impassioned speech in which he urged me to “resist the socially reinforced propaganda” telling me that women visibly aging is a problem. 10/10 husbanding. Feeling very beautiful and loved.
I told B it seemed awfully unfair that in the two years we’ve been married the “in sickness and in health” part of our vows seems to always mean him taking care of me (aside from my more long-term health issues, my shitty immune system means I get colds/flu’s/viruses a lot more regularly than he does) and he was like “yeah?? And?? I knew what I was getting myself into. The only thing that sucks is that it doesn’t matter how well I take care of you, I can’t fix you.”
Which is just rude to say when your wife is already in a delicate state. I can’t even smooch him about it.
Before we go to sleep, B and I have a little routine where I lay on top of him and tell him about whatever book I’m currently reading. We call it “story time.”
Tonight, I’m sleeping in my office because I’ve got to wake up at 5am to go fly tomorrow and don’t want to disturb him.
A few minutes ago, B appeared, sleepy and disgruntled in the doorway to request that I come participate in story time before returning to my office-bed because apparently it’s now an intrinsic part of his bedtime routine and a simple goodnight smooch is not sufficient. 😂